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I agree 100% ML about my MIL! I was furious! She is obviously in denial!
So, you think I should stay home or should I leave for awhile with our dogs? I'm afraid that he's going to try and take our dogs.
I know he wants to mow the yard and check on our pool. Maybe I'll try and mow the yard myself...?
Last edited by starfish75; 03/23/12 09:11 PM.
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I'm planning on calling our MC 10 minutes before our appt. and telling her the following:
I won't be there today. �I'm not in a good place right now and need to focus on myself right now. �Right now I'm #1 and I need to take care of me. �Nothing good is going to come out of our meeting if I show up. �My husband is a liar and until he comes clean and tells me the truth, we don't have anything else to discuss
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Good girl. Even if MC were supportive of you (unlikely) there's no point in a session nagging him to come clean. He knows he's lied. He's a big boy.
One of the great things about plan A is you don't demand, harangue or push.
You say 'you are free to make your choices - just as I am to make mine'
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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So, you think I should stay home or should I leave for awhile with our dogs? I'm afraid that he's going to try and take our dogs.
I know he wants to mow the yard and check on our pool. Maybe I'll try and mow the yard myself...? Can you ask someone trusted to watch them? Or take them off for a bit? Is there anyway you can get away for a few days?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I wish I could leave for a few days, but I'm not sure who to have watch our dogs.
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What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I guess I could, but my husband would most likely find me.
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Not if you just told people that you were just going for a few days and don't tell them where.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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WH just texted me asking if I'm up after I texted him 3 1/2 hrs ago???
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Probably a test to see if you actually are up--probably wants to sneak in the back door, or something, if you ARE up.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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No, he is at his friend's house. I tracked him.
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Anxiety and stomach pains woke me up out of my sleep... not that I am able to sleep much anyway. This just sucks!!!
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Yeah, sorry babe. Its not exactly the best time of your life, even when you're handling it well. I have no doubt at all you're going to do great but there's no way to stop it from sucking right now.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Just finished mowing the yard... Whew! It actually felt good!
I am having anxiety about canceling our MC appt. I was wanting to let WH know how bad he scored, but I realize that he already knows. He seems to be convincing others that he told the truth too. I'm going to cancel and take my dogs out for awhile.
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Yup, stay strong and don't listen to any of his toxic supporters.
Has anyone else besides MIL been trying to persuade you he's truthful? I know that's hard.
One of my WHs BFs tried to convince me he prob went to a very romantic hotel in secret (I found the receipt) alone just to get away from me cause I'm so horrible and jealous (I'm paraphrasing). This was after asking for everyones support. Thanks mate!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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WH just called and left me a v/m. Asked me to call him back. Said he couldn't believe that I cancelled our appt today, because he really wanted to talk some things out with me today. Should I call him back?
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If you can without lovebusting, tell him simply you can't work on the marriage while he's still lying, ignore the predictable denial and say you need the full truth and for him to pass that poly. "That is what it will take to keep me in the marriage" Then say 'love you, bye, gotta go'.
If you still feel shaky and in danger of lovebusting, text or just let him sweat till you feel calmer. Not lovebusting is the priority!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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He keeps calling and sending me text messages. I haven't responded yet... Here is the last text:
I hope we can at least talk tomorrow or later today. I love u
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Are you going to do something for YOU today?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Actually phrase it more like "marriage counselling doesn't work when one person is lying".
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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