Plan B is calling your name. It's time. You can do it.

He sent me this text before the email: BTW: I would gladly sit in that chair for anything!!!!

I sent you an email and I want you to really think about how you would react sitting in that chair. �I love you and I'm not giving up on us

I actually would respond with...

I guess I have your answer then.

Frankly, it's the truth, Star. You can't back down. He's expecting you to crumble, and you can't allow that to happen. If he really is serious, and right now he's not, he'll eventually come around with the whole truth. It's time to call his bluff in a massive way. He's playin' you and you know it. He thinks he knows he can get away with it.

Prove him dead wrong. You deserve better than this.

Unfortunately having two women makes them feel invincible and able to snow even a rockstar like starfish.

When do you wanna Plan B Sf? Do you want to give him a Plan A date first? Killer dress? Rc? Its the last impression he'll have of you..but even if you were to Plan B riight now hed have a great impression.

How are plan B preparations coming?

You've been doing quite well, starfish. Your text to him this afternoon was a good move in this game he is playing. Don't back down from what you told him. He is going to try and smooth-talk you, because that has probably worked for him all his life. (Is that true? Think about it and let us know. He sounds like a habitual liar.)

He will continue to come at you with words and he will get his people behind him. Don't let his words or his family and friends confuse you. You've been very strong and smart. Keep it up.

A lot of us have mentioned plan b. I too think that is where you are headed...very soon.

If you can afford it, talk to one of the Harleys.

I told him I guess I have his answer and his response:

I beg you to believe me for the sake of our marriage

Words are cheap, Mr. Starfish. Actions are where it's at.

So- how are you going to launch Plan B? Go out with a killer date, leave him panting after you- then go dark?

The best thing I ever did to save my marriage was to expose him wide, then plunge into B. You can do this. You have shown amazing resolve so far.

Star, in your heart, mind, and soul, do you have any reason to believe him? I mean any at all.

I am so sorry for what you are going through, but your strength is inspiring, to say the least.

How do I go into Plan B? Any example love letters? I need to know exact specifics!!!! Please help me!!!!

And to this, I wouldn't reply at all. Let him sleep on it. You've laid out your conditions so let him chew on that for a while.

I do believe he is believing himself, kind of.

Obviously WH loves you but is not making an integrated, open and honest relationship with you his number one priority (going out with friends and his bro fishing, etc).

I think that, you need to be the bestest woman you can. Don't call him a liar but tell him that you want him to 'pass a polygraph' so that you are confident going forward. That you can 'deal with any secret second life of his being revealed' but can't allow it to continue being secret. That you want integration with him and a safe marriage. A marriage you would be proud to be in. One where you make decisions with him and are a true partner in every sense of the word.

Meanwhile you do prep for a plan B should you need to go to one. You have money issues considered, IM issues considered and a beautiful Plan B letter lined up to give if you wind up having to give one.

And Plan A like you never thought you could. For you.

I will tell you that Plan B is a sanctuary but when you go into it, it is most unpleasant for you. Sorrow will engulf you for a while. You come out of it and soldier on but it is not to be jumped into without following a stellar Plan A first.
For you. For you. For you. All the plans may recover the marriage, or not....but...they are for you.

He is BLOWING UP my phone right now!!! I'm not answering!

Star, cut your damned phone off.

New text from WH:

Please BS: I'm begging you to understand that its the guilt of what I did to you �not guilt of hiding more. You have to understand this. I'm a mess without you

Should I even ask him what he has been doing the past two days?

While technically you should, it would prob muddy the waters. Fight one battlefront at a time.

As for a plan B letter, check out pages 25-27 of my thread where MB's own Yoda, Pepperband helped me work up a top love letter.

Star, what part of cut the damned phone off did you not understand? Let him sweat. Let him choke on his lies. Let him choke on his deceit. Let him choke on his losing you for his lies.

Let him choke on it

Do you have a link?

Please don't be so harsh... I'm doing EVERYTHING that I can!!!! I'm just wondering what I should do now... I haven't responded and seriously contemplating Plan B, but wondering if anybody has sample live letters that HAVE WORKED?

I've just bumped my thread 'Independent behaviour nightmare' to the top of the forum list. Can't post links on my phone fraid!