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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 10
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 10 |
Hy. Can someone help me please. These hurt is unberable. It feels like I just cant take it anymore.
My story: I am BW, 35. WH 36, 3 kids (4, 6 and 8 y). D-day 7.2.2012. EA for 1y, OW single, 26y.
Before my DH started his affair I had EA, or almost EA. It was a coworker and I suddenly realised it was more than a friendship. It was a huge red flag for me, so I stoped talking to that person and start reading about marriage, affairs etc. I wanted to tell my BH, but he was so distant back then. So I started to work on our marriage, but I didnt know how. I just keep hitting the wall with everything I did... And months went by. I was so lonely. He was so distant... On d-day I wasnt even surprised. He called her the same day and broke it off. I didnt ask him to do so, I was even sending him to her that morning. He is in NC since then. He is still surprised how I reacted and he say that he admires me for that. But I did understand how he felt, I dont blame him for fall in love, I know that we werent nice to each other. We are following the program now...
My problem: I am so so tired. I am facing the exam in 2 weeks that I was studying for 6 months before d-day. I can not postpone the exam. The pictures of them are honting me. The song he sent to her keeps poping in my had. When he brakes the rule (not intentionaly, but habits are hard to brake) I am so hurt. Sometimes I just wont to sleep and never wake up again. Please tell me that time heels, that hurt does go away. Please...
(I am sorry for my language, but i am not fluent in english.)
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 10
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 10 |
I dont know if that is EA, but they were kissing and holding each other.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
vejan, I am so sorry for your pain. Yes, the pain will fade with time if you replace that gaping hole with something positive, such as a happy, romantic marriage. I would get the book, Surviving an Affair and follow the program in there.
Hang in there, it does get better!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,529
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Member
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,529 |
Vejan, the hurt can be debilitating at the beginning - but it DOES get better. Please make sure you are taking care of yourself: eating well, sleeping, etc... When I was first going through all of this I was prescribed a mild anti-depressant to help short term. It helped me function!
When you have a plan to follow, it does get easier because you feel you have some control over things; over your feelings. It instills hope and a clear path to go down rather than wandering aimlessly.
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