He told me that he can't make up things just to make me happy. He said he is not going to tell me things that didn't happen. He said he doesn't know how else to get me to believe him. I told him once he passes a polygraph.

Great work! They never expect the broken record treatment. They think you'll either cave in or blow up in anger. If you do the latter they decide to choose the OWomen who 'never get mad or expect so much' (well, why would they?)

You've got him well informed now. He knows its either full disclosure or losing the sparky Plan Aer who has been a joy to be around.

When do you begin Plan B? There's realy not much more you can show or display to him in Plan A, you've met every need, stood up for yourelf, kept your cool.. you've done the lot.

He just gave me a foot massage on the boat. Throwing out all the mushy stuff, compliments, etc. just like last time. We took a picture of the two of us during sunset last night and he said he will cherish that picture always and hoped it wouldn't be our last picture together. He insists that he didn't have sex with OW#1, not even kisses. He said he definitely would have had sex with OW#2, but they were interrupted.

Plan B.... very close! Need to change the locks. Can he legally get back in the house if I change the locks or should I file for legal separation? Just trying to dot all my I's and cross my T's.

He hates it that I picked up smoking again and I told him that I dislike lying as much as he dislikes smoking. I told him that if he passes a polygraph, then I would throw my smokes away and never pick one up again and every time I had the urge, I would ask him for sex. He said it sounded like a good time! lol...

Star - one doesn't fail a lie detector test on the question you posed, with what he supposedly held back and has now revealed.

You are wise to keep your guard up and insist on the passing of the lie detector before considering steps to reconciliation.

You are a terrifically strong woman and I am hoping you make it to the sanity and peace of Plan B soon.

You have done an amazing job at Plan A...

but I don't think any more Plan A is going to get this man to stop trickle truthing you.

Keep going in getting your Plan B lined up. Do you have an IM yet? Has the IM training guide been linked for you to give to her yet? If not, we can do that for you.

{{{starfish}}}}

Hey Susie, I have volunteered as Starfish's IM, she was having trouble getting someone in RL.





Tell me you're going to help others with their Plan A on here. You're like a Jedi master at it.

lol.... Thanks to all of you!!!!

Yes, he can, but most won't try it because they don't like to have to get the court order to get back in. He would have to explain to a judge why you did it in the first place. And if he calls the police, which is very unlikely, they are more likely to tell him to hire a lawyer and work it out.

If he does try to fight it, you would want to file for separation and we will give you pointers on how to keep him out.

Genius!
Well done!

Met an EN on our boat today...
Yep, I was the last one to have sex with my H before the boat sold! Take that OW#1!!!!
Afterwards, I told him that we could have such a beautiful life and he said that we WOULD have a beautiful life together. Yes, but you still have some things to spill WH!!!

You remind me so much of Neak during her plan A!

Who is Neak?

It was great!!! Afterwards, on the way back in the boat, I put my arm around him and told him if he stopped lying and came clean, I would quit smoking and we could have a long, beautiful life together. I reminded him to do what our MC said at our last session and he said, "To start over?". I said, "Yes, with the truth... all of it!". He nodded his head. I squeezed him (lovingly) and told him that all of our family, friends, counselors, acquaintances want us to work things out and he needs to do the right thing. He said, "Everyone knows how much we love each other!". I said, "Yes, and you need to do the right thing.". He put his head down and nodded again....

Do you all think he is going to come clean? Is he close? At one point, he started to slow the boat way down while I was telling him the last part and I thought he might just spill the beans, but nope... It didn't happen!

Thank you!!! He said he wouldn't take another lie detector, because he already failed the first one. He is acting like he is doomed...

starfish, you have done a beautiful job setting the stage for Plan B. You have left a great taste in his mouth and told him in a 100 different ways that he has to tell the truth. He is still thinking he might be able to charm his way out of this and continue to hide the truth. Your Plan B will disabuse him of that notion.

I predict when you go into Plan B he will try for a couple of weeks to get through. He will call you directly, maybe stop by and enlist others to "talk some sense into you." The key will be to stay AIR TIGHT DARK no matter what. When you convince him you are dead serious and there will be no contact until and unless he comes clean, I predict he will come clean. But count on him to test it at every turn! If he can get you to relax your boundaries, then he won't have to meet your conditions!

So prepare to stay dark as night. Don't let him get through no matter what. Don't accidentally answer his calls, read his emails, nothing. Each and every time he tries to contact you, forward it to your IM and have her contact him with: "starfish deleted your email and did not read it. If you have any communications, please send it through me. Thank you!"

Another thing I want to prepare you for. When you do get the truth, you may reconsider your future with him. That is your option. You have a get out of jail free card with adultery. Just keep that in mind and keep your options open.

You have done a great job, my friend, and I hope you go dark in the next couple of days. It would be perfect timing.

And I do predict your marriage will recover. No guarantees, but I think you have given your marriage the best chance!

Thank you so much!!!
I'm thinking about changing the locks tomorrow!

An MB heroine, much like yourself.

Neak�s Story




The way I deal with all my WH's little messengers is I say: "I cannot hear his name mentioned. It's too painful." Then they say they have somethng I really must hear and I say "He has a way to reach me, that is the only way I will accept messages". If people persist I get up and leave and I then Plan B them too. Some people respect my wishes, some dont. I still have a good relationship with my MIL, but WH has a cousin who was always trying to 'talk me round'.




To make a plan truly dark you have to think like the wayward,and anticipate problems before they happen. How would he try to get in touch with you when you have changed your email and phone numbers etc? What will he do and what will your response be?

If he posts a note through the door... throw it away unread (very important you dont read)

If he bangs on the doors... ignore him.

If he is waiting outside the yoga class he knows you go to every week, just turn around and leave when you spot him.

You will be very weak and will miss him at first.. So it is very important you dont let any of his propaganda reach your ears....

After a few dark weeks you will be over the worst of withdrawal..

Thank you for the tips!

What does it mean to "post a note through the door??" Can you translate for the Americans??

wish these silly foreigners would learn proper English!