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lol... I remembered something else from today... He told me that he didn't have sex with OW#1, not even kisses and then I noticed the slightest but of a smirk/smile! I know he is lying! I am the worst liar ever and when I'm confronted with something and try to lie, I smile! Dead giveaway!!!
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If he posts a note through the door... throw it away unread (very important you dont read) What does it mean to "post a note through the door??" Can you translate for the Americans??  Im going to assume that if I swap 'post' for 'mail' this sentence becomes acceptable? It's pretty difficult, because watching American programmes/movies on TV since childhood shows you what crazy words you lot DO use.. (For years I was consumed with curiosity to find out what a 'Twinkie' was) but that method is no good for finding out what words you DON'T use. My first trip to the States I was amazed to hear the the phrase 'to queue in a shop' was considered gibberish and you 'stood in line at the store'. I still find that one odd!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Star - this anticipated behavior of trying to break your Plan B was why so many of us stressed that you must consider alternatives to going back to work at the same place. He will go out of his way to find you at work, once you return from your leave of absence. You will have no protections there and he will know it.
Please please please figure this one out - get your resume out and change jobs. You simply cannot let this one go unprepared.
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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Im going to assume that if I swap 'post' for 'mail' this sentence becomes acceptable? You can't "mail a note through the door!" silly! The mail goes in da mail box! Foreigners! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I give up! Put through the door? That's way too simple
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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If he posts a note through the door... throw it away unread (very important you dont read) TRANSLATION FOR AMERICANS: "If he sends you a letter, throw it away unread (very important you dont read)" 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Hey I figured out what Twinkies were...before Google! It can't be that hard to figure out 'post'!!!!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Star - this anticipated behavior of trying to break your Plan B was why so many of us stressed that you must consider alternatives to going back to work at the same place. He will go out of his way to find you at work, once you return from your leave of absence. You will have no protections there and he will know it.
Please please please figure this one out - get your resume out and change jobs. You simply cannot let this one go unprepared. In the state and economy that we are in, I cannot change jobs and I will make it work. I'm a very strong-willed woman and I have a wonderful manager who has been telling me to get a plan. Spoke with him this past Friday and let him know that I would be needing his help with a plan that I'm working on and he said he would do anything he could to help me. I am out of work for two more weeks and have time to figure out the logistics with my IM. I have full faith that I can make this work with the appropriate precautions set in place. I have faith that I will receive good advice here and do whatever means possible to protect myself and any weak areas.
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And I do predict your marriage will recover. No guarantees, but I think you have given your marriage the best chance! Ditto Your M can survive/thrive the truth. You're awesome!
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Met an EN on our boat today...  Yep, I was the last one to have sex with my H before the boat sold! Take that OW#1!!!! Afterwards, I told him that we could have such a beautiful life and he said that we WOULD have a beautiful life together. Yes, but you still have some things to spill WH!!! Awesome! He hates it that I picked up smoking again and I told him that I dislike lying as much as he dislikes smoking. I told him that if he passes a polygraph, then I would throw my smokes away and never pick one up again and every time I had the urge, I would ask him for sex. He said it sounded like a good time! lol... Even more awesome! It was great!!! Afterwards, on the way back in the boat, I put my arm around him and told him if he stopped lying and came clean, I would quit smoking and we could have a long, beautiful life together. I reminded him to do what our MC said at our last session and he said, "To start over?". I said, "Yes, with the truth... all of it!". He nodded his head. I squeezed him (lovingly) and told him that all of our family, friends, counselors, acquaintances want us to work things out and he needs to do the right thing. He said, "Everyone knows how much we love each other!". I said, "Yes, and you need to do the right thing.". He put his head down and nodded again.... And then even more awesome! Star, I don't know what the hell your WH is thinking, but from my standpoint, you are a woman to be truly admired. You are simply incredible Hold your ground and hang in there
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Met an EN on our boat today... Yep, I was the last one to have sex with my H before the boat sold! Take that OW#1!!!! Afterwards, I told him that we could have such a beautiful life and he said that we WOULD have a beautiful life together. Yes, but you still have some things to spill WH!!! Awesome! He hates it that I picked up smoking again and I told him that I dislike lying as much as he dislikes smoking. I told him that if he passes a polygraph, then I would throw my smokes away and never pick one up again and every time I had the urge, I would ask him for sex. He said it sounded like a good time! lol... Even more awesome! It was great!!! Afterwards, on the way back in the boat, I put my arm around him and told him if he stopped lying and came clean, I would quit smoking and we could have a long, beautiful life together. I reminded him to do what our MC said at our last session and he said, "To start over?". I said, "Yes, with the truth... all of it!". He nodded his head. I squeezed him (lovingly) and told him that all of our family, friends, counselors, acquaintances want us to work things out and he needs to do the right thing. He said, "Everyone knows how much we love each other!". I said, "Yes, and you need to do the right thing.". He put his head down and nodded again.... And then even more awesome! Star, I don't know what the hell your WH is thinking, but from my standpoint, you are a woman to be truly admired. You are simply incredible Hold your ground and hang in there Thank you so much!!! Your kind words mean so much to me!!!
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Are you all sure I can't get into trouble for changing the locks? How easy would it be for him to get back into the house?
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Are you all sure I can't get into trouble for changing the locks? How easy would it be for him to get back into the house? Don't worry! It is not illegal in any state in the union to change the locks on your house. He would have to go to a lot of trouble to get back in. Especially since he has moved out.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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WH just sent me the following text this morning:
Heading into work. Thank u again for a wonderful Sunday. I hope u have a nice day. Love me
Plan B today? What do you all think?
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Should I respond to his text? Also, how do I let him know where his personal belongings can be picked up... should I add this in the letter?
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It's up to you- for me- I left a voicemail explaining where he could find his belongings and the explanation for why. I placed the Plan B letter and a family picture in his bag.
Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
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I'd Respond in a loving way, yeah me too, love you etc. Plan A right up until he gets the Plan B letter.
You need to change your contact details before Plan B so he can't text you any more.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Today would be a GREAT time to go into Plan B. You have had a wonderful weekend together and you have discussed what you need from him.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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We are on a family plan with my mom and sister. Can I just delete his texts without reading?
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Should I pack up all his clothes and toiletries only?
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