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I'm just wanting to make sure that I go about giving him the letter in the right way. I'm planning on leaving his belongings at my mom's. Guess I could leave the letter there too with a nice picture? I'll need to email him where he can pick up his stuff by email and then block his email. Anything in particular I should say in the email?
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We are on a family plan with my mom and sister. Can I just delete his texts without reading? just change the number. Most times it does not cost anything.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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We are on a family plan with my mom and sister. Can I just delete his texts without reading? Nope, sorry. You need to be completely 'in the dark' about whether he's trying to contact you. Changing your number shouldnt affect your plan/deal. Should I pack up all his clothes and toiletries only? This gives a very temporary message imo and will just encourage him to 'wait it out'. Pack up everything you can, even seasonal stuff he wont need for a year. As well as sending a good 'this is it for me if you're not honest' message, it removes triggers from your home. Once he's gone, and you're over the worst of it, youll need to get pack away things which remind you of him.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I'm just wanting to make sure that I go about giving him the letter in the right way. I'm planning on leaving his belongings at my mom's. Guess I could leave the letter there too with a nice picture? I did this, dumped his things at his mothers with the letter, I didnt put a pic in though, I put in his St Christopher's medal which he used to loan me for luck when I had a big day. Same principle I suppose. I didnt bother with an email, but I would just tone it along the lines of practicality, like an addendum and just finish it with an I love you.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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We are on a family plan with my mom and sister. Can I just delete his texts without reading? Nope, sorry. You need to be completely 'in the dark' about whether he's trying to contact you. Changing your number shouldnt affect your plan/deal. Should I pack up all his clothes and toiletries only? This gives a very temporary message imo and will just encourage him to 'wait it out'. Pack up everything you can, even seasonal stuff he wont need for a year. As well as sending a good 'this is it for me if you're not honest' message, it removes triggers from your home. Once he's gone, and you're over the worst of it, youll need to get pack away things which remind you of him. We are on the same plan, so this is going to be hard. I have so many things set up with my FMLA, customers, doctors, etc. I would need to get my own plan and then my mom and sister are on our plan too. Can I block his phone number? If I change my number, he will find out what it is anyway, so maybe I can just block his number? If not, then I can just delete his messages. I would have to do this anyway, because I know he will find out my new number.
Last edited by starfish75; 04/02/12 09:20 AM.
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Ok, so I will pack all of his clothes, toiletries, etc. Anything else I should pack? He already picked up his tool box.
He has his 4-wheeler in the garage too. Not sure what else he might need. I'm not going to be able to move his 4-wheeler, because there is a trailer too.
Last edited by starfish75; 04/02/12 09:30 AM.
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I guess I'm needing to know how to tell him where to pick up his stuff? I'd like to have the letter there too when he picks it up or should I give him the letter first (how?) and add the addendum about where he can pick up his stuff?
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Or, I could set his name to Unknown, because I never answer these calls.
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If you get a new number, WH can still get it if he is the account holder. Also, if you are on the same plan/bill, you cannot block a member that is on the same plan....believe me, i tried that too.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Set his name to " Lying McLiarson".
What?
Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
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We are on the same plan, so this is going to be hard. I have so many things set up with my FMLA, customers, doctors, etc. I would need to get my own plan and then my mom and sister are on our plan too. Call your phone company. They should be able to split the account up if you explain you are separating from your H and you and your mother and sister want to stay on a family plan. If he is the account holder and you arent', they will need his permission however. Your number would change but your contacts and everything will stay the same on your phone (at least they did for mine)
Last edited by SusieQ; 04/02/12 10:47 AM.
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Set his name to " Lying McLiarson".
What? lol... Perfect!!!
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If you get a new number, WH can still get it if he is the account holder. Also, if you are on the same plan/bill, you cannot block a member that is on the same plan....believe me, i tried that too. I would get a whole new account he knows nothing about and can't find the number for. Setiing his name as unknown means youwould get triggered every time you got one of those calls - you'd never get through withdrawal! Get a new account and put your mum and sis on later, or call your provider and ask if they can sort something for you where your h won't know the number because you're separating. I wasn't able to change mine in time for Plan B, but it was fine because I went camping for the weekend in the lakes where you can't get a signal anyway. I skipped any doorstep tantrums this way and when I got home I had a new phone number.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Changing the locks now...
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What do I say to my in-laws?
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It would be a great idea to give them YOUR side of Plan B.
Explain to them that you have great hope for your marriage, and you want to protect it from further harm until WH is ready.
Explain that he's committed to doing some IC about his honesty issues - and that you hope that will help him disclose the rest of the truth to you.
Don't leave it to HIM to explain it -- because he will not explain it properly. He will make it all out to be about the polygraph and he will become a victim in his version!
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Unless they already know, tell them more information has come to light since the polygraph - he has now admitted a long running emotional affair with OW1. Tell them you know there is still more and you need him to tell you everything BEFORE a polygraph which he must PASS next time. Tell them you love him and them. Then say if they want to speak with you during the separation they must agree not to mention WH or pass on news. It is too painful to hear his name while he is not being honest with you.
I have a good relationship with my MIL so I did this in person, but email is as good if you find it daunting or it interferes with your timing.
Be careful not to give them any new contact details unless they can be trusted not to pass them to WH.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Ok, locks changed and I took his stuff to my mom's house. Whew... I'm exhausted!!! I left the PBL on top of his clothes along with a wedding picture in a frame that reads "I Do".
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Should I send him an email and let him know that I left some things for him at my mom's house?
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Now, expect him to try to break your Plan B and get as dark as you can. Can you turn off your phones? Do you have somewhere you can go for a bit? I would also change the email addy, instead of just blocking him.
You're doing the right thing. It's gonna be a rough little bit, but you'll get through this.
Remember, the main point right now is to ensure NO CONTACT with your WH. And take care of yourself.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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