Exposure by Dr. Harley
If your unfaithful spouse is unwilling to end an affair the right way, I know of a way to help speed up its demise: Expose it. Your own family should know: Your parents, your siblings, and even your children. The family of your spouses lover should also know, especially the lover's spouse. The pastor of your church should be informed as well. Exposure of an affair is like opening a moldy closet to the light of day. Affairs do well when they're conducted in secret, but when they're in full view for all to see, they appear as they are -- incredibly foolish and thoughtless.

The above quote can be found here How to Survive an Affair by Dr. Harley

It will help with your anger because it will help kill the affair and put you on the path for recovery.
Will your H write the NC letter I posted to you earlier?
It will take time, but your anger will ease with time and following the MB plan.

Why do you think your kids will lose their dad if you contact the OW H?

Wouldn't you want someone to tell you if you didn't know about your H affair and they did know?
Here is another good read What To Do With an Unfaithful Husband

Kimono, welcome to MB.

Exposure will help end the affair, and in killing the affair, you will be able to properly move forward.

i have contacted husband as well as several fb friends. now am sitting here confused on what to do next??

Did you do an exposure? Do you know who the OW is and exposed to her BH?

What do you mean you have contacted your WH?

yes i do know her the bh has been told, he basically will be no help because he cant stop from contacting who she wants to.
having a hard time seeing today how I can move on past this a, I dont think I will ever forget or be the same person again. or i can see is a failing marriage & a h who had alot of fun, now she wont ever go away

Do you live near this OW? Can you move?

Will you WH stop contacting her? Will he write a NC letter to her? Do you have any support from your family or his to put pressure on him?
No contact letters-Samples

I'm afraid you will continue with this pain until you can stop this affair. Have you exposed this to your children, his family?

Please listen to this radio clip where Dr. Harley talks about just compensation and the path that need to be taken to heal from an affair.

Radio Clip

Please read these. Can we just forgive and forget
Can We Just Forgive and Forget #2
Can We Just Forgive and Forget #3

ow lives 3 hrs away, the affair has ended its all her, h is not contacting at all. h has taken an ivo out on her,but unfortunatley there is only so much police will help with.
i wont b telling my children because they are too young.
family is aware & some friends.

How is she contacting him? Email or phone? Can he change EVERYTHING so she has no way to get a hold of him?

Can you call the Marriage Building coaching center? They will definitely give you a plan to help you heal.

What did her husband say?

HAVE YOU TALKED TO HIMSELF YOURSELF?

she was ringing his work until they wouldnt put her thru. now she is only contacting our friends via fb, me until i blocked all her names she uses. so she is running out of ways, reason for following him home trying to get him to pull over. after talking to ow husband have found out she has bipolar, so i am dealing with a real handful. hopefully now her husband knows that will be the end

kimono, file a restraining order against this lunatic.

I think her WH took out something called an ivo.

yes I have talked to him myself, my h has also a couple of conversations with him. we do have an ivo on her already. I am trying to focus on getting pass this.......

Then she is in violation of that order. Have you contacted the police?

ivo = intervention order. The Aus equivilent of restraining order. Kimono's H took one out on OW.

I have received many messages from OW, several referencing Kimono's H and inciting me to pass messages on (which breaches the IVO). I have contacted police regarding this, the officer who needs to take my statement is on leave... he will contact me when he returns. Kimono's H has also reported breaches, but the police state they need hard evidence. Anonymous gifts, etc or his word that she followed him are not enough.

The police are certainly NOT busting a gut on this one. Actually, they seem to be treating it as a bit of a joke given it all started from an A. Even if these breaches get to Court, it will likely take months. The police are not prioritising it by any means.

Both Kimono and her H have contacted OW's H to expose. Kimono has also done FB exposure to OW's friends / family (as many as she knew of, OW has friend list private).

Kimono has told me that if OW does not stop contact, she will not be able to heal. With every contact, Kimono thinks about giving up on recovery. It sets her back to D Day.

I hope my clarifying won't upset you Kimono, I just want to get the best advice on how to help you and H with your recovery!!!

So MBer's... suggestions?

Have they changed all avenues of contacting? Their phone numbers, email even facebook if they have to?

They need to change all avenues of contact.

hi melody, as a a person who has got thru, a little advice would b great or any tips you can give me.
At times I struggle on whether I can get thru this, do you have any tips on how to deal with all the hurt & thoughts I get at times, this makes me feel like it will never go away. I do have a habit of hanging onto things until their processed