Actually, I ignored this from SF, because.......PLAN B. It's protection time. It's not time to focus on what this will do to WH, it's time to figure out how to get SF into the darkest PB possible for HER protection. Priorities. WH can wait out in the cold for all I care. He wasn't protecting SF, so now, I will help her protect herself.

Can you go stay at your mom's for a couple of nights, in case he comes beating on the door?

This is a GREAT idea. Especially since you have that intel that he isn't happy about the locks having been changed.

starfish, remember that the primary goal of Plan B is your emotional health. Every hole in your Plan B is a danger to your emotional health. Women go through horrible post-traumatic stress issues after going through life experiences like this. We do not want you winding up years down the road with nightmares, flashbacks, and a damaged immune system.

Please listen closely to the things people are telling you you still need to do. Don't leave these undone. Change your number. You need to take steps to build your wall higher so that he is discouraged from trying to climb over the wall.

It's one thing to talk about things and letting me know what I can expect. It's another thing to be actually experiencing these things. Of course, I had no idea what I would be feeling or how this is going to effect me in weeks to come. I have been in survival mode, being so strong that I haven't had a chance to grieve.

I'm asking questions, because I'm curious about how things have or haven't turned out for the rest of you. Of course, I'm having a very difficult time letting go and taking care of me. I'll get there, but please be patient with me. I'm just curious about what everyone else has experienced. I might not be thinking the way I'm supposed to or how everyone expects me to react, but I've done a lot today and didn't eat until 7:30pm. I know... not good, but I had a lot to do today and I made it happen!

I wish I could cry and get it all out, but I'm just still in shock. My WH still hasn't been completely honest with me, so I'm not sure what all I have to grieve over yet. Maybe I'm waiting until I know it all... The trickle-truth pain is so hard and I feel like I've been holding back...

Yes, I could... She has cats though and I have two dogs and a cat. He didn't have room to get all of his stuff, so he is going to go back to my mom's tomorrow to pick everything up. He had to find a place to store everything.

I will make sure that I'm surrounding myself with family and friends the next few days.
I hung out with my neighbors for an hour or so tonight. Anxiety started kicking in, so I came back home.

Dear Starfish:

I have been following your story because what your WH husband is saying to you is EXACTLY, word-for-word, what my husband said to me.


Nope. No affair. Check.


Well, okay, maybe I held back a little bit. But just a little bit. Check.


She was emotional and I felt bad for her. Check.


Yes! Let's start over! All we need is love...(cue the Beatles). Check.


Stick to the story. Just stick to the story. Check. (I heard this line for four consecutive years).


Oh, ****edit****, she might really mean it this time...Check.

Starfish, stick to your guns. You DO NOT want to go through what I've been through. POLYGRAPH, POLYGRAPH, POLYGRAPH.

If it doesn't make sense, IT IS A LIE.

Good luck.

BV

If he attempts a face to face with you.....do not love bust.

Request he honors the letter you wrote him.

And if he is not honest, and does not commit to being honest, YOU DO NOT WANT HIM BACK.

You really don't.

Spoken by someone ahead of you on the road, looking back.

BV

Thank you for sharing your similar experiences. I'm sorry for what you have been through!!! It's amazing all of the similarities.... WS's do read from the same book.

Yesterday he thought you bought the lies and he could gaslight you out of the poly.

Today and tomorrow and for the next few days he's going to do everything in his power to get you back under his control/power/manipulation/charm.

You said no contact. Any acknowledgement of his threat about the key and you undermine your Plan B.

Ignore it. Find a hotel that will allow the dogs for a few days so you remove yourself one step further from his reach.

But understand what I was saying about the job.

It is a threat to your Plan B.

And yes - I know there's a recession still going no matter what the politicians say. Get your resume out there anyway. You have way too much exposure risk to breaking Plan B with the job you have.

He is going to call the police on me... My sister just called.

star, how did you spend the first night?

You need to give yourself time for Plan B to start working its magic. Right now you are also under a spell, a fog, too many emotions, battles for the truth.

Let things settle, and a new peace will soon shine bright!

Hope you are able to keep dark. I was reading Kayla's post (link on her signature) and lots of good posts there on Plan B.

Be well!

I had to let him in... He threatened to call the police and my attorney said I can't keep him out unless there is physical violence. He is demanding that I give him a key or he will call out a locksmith.

Should I call the police? He is removing property from the house?

Uh, for what? Changing the locks on your own house? He's just trying to bully and scare you now, star. Don't worry about it.

I'm betting he doesn't even call them. He's just trying to get to you through your sister.

Hold on tight. Slow down. Breathe. You can do this.

You will be O.K.

Keep posting, keep reading. If you have not given him keys, GO TO A HOTEL for a few days. If you are not home, you can not be bothered.
SHUT THE PHONE OFF.

Well, now we know without a doubt that he's been lying. The jig is up- and that's why he is reacting like this.

But you have to go as dark as you can. You have to. I know it is so, so hard. But you can do this.

If I understand it right, the police will not get involved in a domestic dispute of this nature, they will tell your husband to contact legal councel.
I could not even get a cop to unlock my locked car door (with the keys in the ignition) because he said IT MAY be a domestic disipute, and he did not want me to gain access to the vehicle without a title in my name only.
................ ;/

Postpone the key given thing. If he is still there, tell him you will HAVE KEY MADE- and get him out.

Lock the house, take the dogs and GO AWAY.

.............and shut off your phone.