Amen

I am positively in love with Scotland! Went there the first time last month and was completely and woefully in love after that! My DH is Scotish and my step children live there.

I am so looking forward to it. I have a lot of Scottish blood myself and I like the way how the light changes the further north you go.

Its a lower light, and this sounds silly but its more golden. Add in the purply hills and emerald woods and its a stunner of a place.

That's another thing for my new husband list, actually. Softlad was impervious to scenery. Must get someone who knows beauty when they see it. (Aside from my own which is obvious of course )

Be careful of those Scotish men...they can be quite charming!

Lol. Like Sean Connery? "Moneypenny!!"

a ball is a great way to take your mind off the official halfway point! i bought a ball gown last year to attend my school's ball (which i organised - doing again this year!). so much fun!

i'm sorry, indie, that you've gotten to this point. softlad in an idiot. but YOU are not; you are amazingly strong!

those scottish men are nice - check under the kilt first to make sure they can meet your ENs!!! it'll be hard to understand anything they're saying, but who cares??

I could listen to him talk all day long. I'm gonna start reading a series by Steven Erikson, where the shortest novel is the first, at 450 pages, do you think he could read it to me instead? I LOVE the Scots accent.

Oh Letty, that kilt comment had me doing a spit take. HEHEHEHEHE

Ok, I was worried I might find the Highland accents too charming for my boundaries....




Now you've given me a whole other idea to worry about!

Here's me discussing the nice scenery and your mind goes straight under the kilts! Tsk tsk

DH pointed out that he has to be careful because you don't want to get a mosquito bit there!

i wanted to get a laugh out of you, not make you worry! you'll have a wonderful trip. don't forget to get yourself some of your clan tartan!

You've certainly heard the song about the Scotsman and his kilt??

http://mp3bear.com/irish-rovers-under-the-scotsmans-kilt

My son goes to an all boys Catholic school and after he heard this song went to school and told his teacher and all his classmates about it....poor DH will never be able to show his face at DS's school again! LOL!!!

Brit, that is GREAT.

Ok, confession time for Indie.

I'm having a good week. I passed my first set of maths exams in spite of the horrible flu I'd had. I bought walking boots and found it surprisingly easy to walk ten miles - Ben Nevis here I come! I've been doing Wii Zumba every night, cause dancing makes me happy. Tomorrow I am setting off on a 12 mile hike to a herb farm which sells this great homemade lavender shampoo. They'll also sort me out a good farmhouse brekkie.

Since getting the Decree Nisi half-way there divorce papers I've had unsettled sleeping patterns.

Nothing too bad and I was just glad that was the only reaction as I had expected depression or pain.

The day before yesterday, a mutual friend of mine and softlad changed his FB pic to a photo of him and softlad.

I clicked on it. The first time I have seen his face in months.

The first reaction was how unattractive I found him compared to when my lovebank was higher. I know that's common.

But then I was off and running. Looking for other FB pics of him. Googling him.

For what purpose I am sure I don't know.

The trigger of the friend's photo? A delayed reaction to the Decree Nisi? Combination of the two? Cockiness to see if I could handle it and feel nothing?

I'm not unbiased enough to say with any certainty.

Anyway I discovered he was still writing these sports columns he does for our local paper. Thank god I didn't discover any other details as this one is bad enough.

Though I buy the paper often, I never go near the sports pages and it never occurred to me in my wildest dreams that his life would go on untroubled to the point he would continue writing these.

Worse and worse, he's still GOOD. He's funny and articulate and intelligient in his writing still. I had gotten so much fog from him I had rewritten him entirely moronic. Any way it serves me right.

Since then things are quite the same. Generally happy but sleep a bit hit and miss. It will settle down if I can keep myself in order.

As for hole fixing, I need to unfriend anyone still in contact with softlad, I think. There are some obvious targets I missed.

I have fantastic plans for the weekend anyway. After my morning walk tomorrow Ill take my time getting ready for dinner and drinks in town with a good friend.

It is okay Indie ... Plan B can have moment of unexpected breaks. It happens ... just get back in the bunker and surround yourself with peace.

Any friend to a wayward cannot be a friend to the betrayed. Remember adultery is the worse form of abuse and cruelty ... if a friend cannot see that then their empathy radar is poorly working.

Plus ... waywards usually only associate with enablers because remember they are selfish, entitled, addicted, baboons. Addicts cannot function in society unless they have a posse of enablers surrounding them. If you don't enable, then you make them accountable. Addicts hate people who hold them accountable. They like to call them types "Judgmental"

This means the friend is likely not sharing the same set of values as you.

Keep your bar high for friends and husbands ... you will sow a much more rewarding life.

Remove all people from your life that will not stick up and protect you from the cruelty and abuse your WH is causing to you.

You mean you were not totally blind when you chose him to be your spouse?
Que horror!

His cleverness was part of the package you picked for husband.

Your rose colored glasses are coming off BUT you found stuff cool about him way before you married him and will way after this mess.

Yeah, it's like falling for a bad boy. You know he's bad for you but there are things about him you still like.

This made me laugh...!

But YES I expect him to degenerate into a loser and not have ANY redeemable features!

Actually, I do want to divorce with a more 'realistic' view of him. But that's a tricky one because my view of him is moot. He's wayward and who he is is not my business now.

Now that that is outta the way,

I know how tempting a hole like that can be and how it can spin completely outta control. Funny that. Glad you fessed up so others in PB can see what happens when there is any, even incidental contact.

I recently looked through my older profile pics, and funny enough, I also couldn't believe that I didn't find my WH attractive like I used to. Weird huh?

Don't let this slip get you any further. Get yourself back on track, and dark. You're doing GREAT.

Thanks Scot, I needed that

I aim to please.