Since you are so insistent that your dating relationship is the same as marriage, then why don't you just get married? Instead of wasting all this time insisting it is the same, why don't you take the steps to make it the same?

Would be foolish to do this until we had mastered the program.

You should probably actually be in the same state, as well, before you get married.

I have not to my recollection said we were the same as married, but I will read through my posts again. I have stated my status was irrelevant.

And maybe even move to the same state?

Yes CWMI I believe I stated that in another post. So he can run locally and not be gone overnight.

So you are agreeing it is not the same? If that is what you say I would agree!

Sorry your still stuck here ML. Think I made it plain it's IRRELEVANT.

Then why don't you move forward and focus on solutions to your problem if its "irrelevant?"

Actually ML that is exactly why I came to this site and asked about AO and DJ. It appears to have created some issue for others and made it impossible to get any relevant input.

You got input. As far as AOs and DJs, just stop it. IDing AOs is easy, DJs will take more work. Have you identified the DJs you make?

Yeap great advice.

And no answer...have you identified your LBs? What are they?

Go look at the questionnaires, this isn't a hand-holding or mind-reading board.

Is this the paper?

http://www.nber.org/papers/w2416.pdf

That looks like it, but is missing the tables from the journal. Same authors, titles, and text, although I only read some of this and note it is the working paper, may differ slightly from the published version. What I quoted is on page 15 of this.

Heh, I got to the end and they do have the tables, but not all prettied up like in the published pdf version, in graph form and all...but yeah, that's the study.

I thought I gave you that.

If you listen to Dr. Harley's radio show daily, and start listening to old shows in the archives, you'll get a lot more review and detail on the information.

Again I suggest that you tone down the sarcasm, since that's absolutely what you have to do to work on AO and DJ, if you are serious on working on these two issues.

My anger management therapist works mostly with angry men; he says sometimes a wife of such a man will ask him for a diagnosis of her husband. He tells her her husband is diagnosed as a "chronic jerk," and that the goal of treatment is for him to become a "recovering jerk."

Don't be a jerk, you know? One of the biggest tricks is learning not to give yourself permission to be a jerk even when you feel like other people are being a jerk to you.

I may not be so inclined to continue to give you input if you continue to conveniently forget it just to make points in your arguments with other posters on your site. It seems more important to you to be able to claim you were poorly treated here than it is to actually work on the issues you claim you came here to work on. Why don't you just click "ignore" on the people you don't want to hear from and focus on the input you've actually gotten for the problems you want to work on?

If you want to work on AO and DJ, I strongly strongly suggest you quit trying to win arguments around here. If you can't learn to let some things run off your back you'll probably not be able to handle AO and DJ.

I tell my kids not to try to straighten each other out and that it's okay if their brothers or sisters are wrong. Can you handle it if other people here have an opinion about you that you feel is wrong? Can you accept that and just let go of the issue? Or will you always feel the need to straighten them out? This is a skill you're going to have to master if you want to eliminate angry outbursts and disrespectful judgments.

Google for "psychological ping pong."

Practice playing here.