Tom, I hope the impediments you mentioned are not deemed more weighty in the decision than your commitment to the calling. But whether this goes any farther or not, you can take some satisfaction that a number of people recognized in you the possibility of your providing such a blessed service to your fellow man.

NG,

Tonight I don't feel really very blessed! I know, that sounds egotistical but I'm just very tired tonight and my leg feels painful now even sitting. My son will be driving me to dr. tommorrow afternoon. This has been 3 weeks now and altho it's not nearly as bad as when this started there are some days when I feel there is no progress. I cannot recall when I have felt this debilitated in the last 30 years but I am beginning to realize when it comes to my own pain I feel like a coward sometimes. Everyone is upset because I have tried to heal this myself but tonight I feel I am back to week 1. Went to do some gardening at my church but now I think the movement today pretty much set me back. I love watching 'Three and half Men' on cable but couldnot get thru it tonight. Hate going to dr's but this has to end somehow. No, I'm not worrying about any impediments - Christ alone will decide if this is for me but I am just having a hard time focusing and thinking clearly with the pain.

Thanks NG

Tom

What's the deal with the leg, Tom?

Hello HHH,

Son took me to the dr. yesterday and is what I was told and suspected in late March with first episode, hamstring muscle strain or tear moderate level. I'm taking his advice now and keeping it wrapped with elastic bandages during the day and limiting my activity and heat applications. Thanks for asking H but I hate being down and know that I probably didn't allow it to heal in first place.

Tom

Am preparing for a weekend retreat starting sat. morning which is encouraged for anyone who desires to enroll for any ministry in my parish including youth ministry, prospective deacons, PADS, foodbank, etc. etc. It's not required but strongly encouraged. So, will be out of pocket for awhile. Have no idea who is going to lead, but it's usually a priest from another parish or a member of an order who travels to do these. So, I hope the guy is good..*s*

After a long while after initially inquiring about volunteer opportunities here in my area and difficulty in getting in contact with anyone and my hanstring problem, the last couple of days sort of flooded - have an interview Friday morning with a local museum and garden for simple maintenance and maybe some gardening, and an application for the judicial court here for assisting people on probation and in jail, and catholic charities. Am still volunteering at the local library, and have not even carefully considered the ministires (volunteer) at my church and I feel I am saving that for the last. I'm being careful to not just rush into anything at all and am still looking for what I can offer in relation to the need. I sort of feel bad tho that I've lost a month now due to my leg, and maybe partly that I have allowed myself to slack off.

Char is doing allright. She's upset that I could not get to visit her in April as I had planned. I didn't feel up to traveling for the last month and it's been tough to just get around here. We have talked alot about our situation. I do not have the funds to afford a private care facility here in the area for her to stay in this area. She requires a nursing home, and where she is now is much better than anything.

Just talked to her in past few minutes and had to interrupt my thread. She is going to have an MRI on her knee next week due to her knee and possible torn cartigage. I promised her that I would visit her in June just before her birthday. It's just tough. Know what tho, we are still together if not physically but at least emotionally and in spirit. I look in on the survicors' forum and it is really tough for me to see so many many BH's wimp out at such an early age in terms of their marriages - because it is too tough for them! I honestly do not have understand them altho I do post ocacaionally.

Tom

Hamstring injury? Tom, you might consider cutting back on the full-contact handball games!

Glad to see you're still exploring your options. Enjoy your retreat, and learn all you can!

NG, Yep, no handball or nothing else strenuous. Just trying to get back to normal activity. Man you know what NG I cannot wait until I get to take the wrap off my leg in evening at home - it supports the injury during the day but wow it feels good and normal now. I have not had this kind of injury since high school. I've been fortunate. I'm looking forward to the retreat, my son will look after our cats an things here.

I sometimes feel I am too out of place here with even posting here. I have found many friends now here in my community, and I feel I have found many friends here at MB, including you and others, and of course St. Marital. And am saying this honestly, and am feeling the relief now with my leg injury subsiding. I know there are so many opportunities now in my life to give back for what I have received and that is what is so exciting to me now.

NG, take care my friend,

Tom

I now realize I must be a sentimental type for a guy. Had a busy day today and when I finally turned the TV on to start to relax, I think it was AMC was showing American Graffiti. Have seen this or parts of it several times - Char and I saw it when it first came out - but man it IS a great 'coming of age' film. I had talked to her tonight earlier and it was too late to call her after it was over, but am going to tell her I saw it again tomorrow nite. I remember when we first saw it, well of course we were starting our own lives together, but I remember we each had memories to share with each other about the '60s as we started to date seriously in '67 and we weren't that far removed from the '60s. She was not my first serious gf, but she was my most fatal! Well, again, the presious memorirs do make me week in the knees, and I think of myself as a cowboy, and Char would agree..*s*

NG, had a couple of interviews today - the one at the gardens here and was accepted to do just basic maintenenace volunteer work, and it is an astounding place. And I finally connected with the volunteer coordinater at catholic charities and have an appt. to meet with her next Thurs. She replaced the guy who was in that postion before and then resigned after her became a deacon and assigned to our parish. I want to tell you tho that I am not just trying to run through hoops on volunteering to try to see if I have a calling nor to satisfy any requirements. It is because I want to do this now that I am semi retired to simply try to give back what I should have been doing the last several years. There are some concerns, not impediments as such, but my age - 70 next month - and my wife being away in a nursing home, and the stress of the studies at my age. Ya know what tho, if you really deep wown and I mean deep down that Christ is tugging at you, and you in your own mind attempt to discern what He wants, better not refuse and better find a way to answer this by just simply being just simply being honest and accepting. I feel sort of now like Donald Driver - a great Packer and a great player, and a good dancer too, but maybe a little too long in tooth to stay with his original team!

Anyway, however this goes and I have no clue now, I am looking forward to the reatreat this weekend.

Tom

Enjoy the retreat, Tom! And enjoy the journey as you make your way through the whole business of volunteering!

Just wanted to send you some good-luck mojo for your appointment with the Catholic charities person.

And when you get a free moment (which would appear to be about to become scarce in your life!), drop us a line about the retreat, okay?

Hello NG, Marital, et al.,

The interview with charities went well last Thurs. I didn't check my email for most of the holiday weekend. Was contacting people I wanted to use as references - they do a full background check and require three references, which is appropriate. When I got online this pm found that mty eamil wasn't working, but I could at least read new emails and they want me to report tomorrow morning to work in one of their good banks, Can do. This is a new bank they have established for clients with HIV and other clients, all with special nutritional requirements. I'm looking forward.

Otherwise just assembling documents - references, copies of my diplomas, resume, etc. One of the things I knew was on the list is baptismal certificate and I just assumed I had mine. Well after searching the last couple of days and not finding it I realized I don't recall ever getting it from my mom. I probably did at some point and probably lost it. Just need to inquire to get a copy of it.

NG I am so happy now that my hamstring doesn't bother me much and sems to be healing finally. I am not pushing it at all, but I can get around now out and at home w/o the leg wrap.

Other than that, I have a couple dozen geraniums, parsley and other plants on my patio and and every three days takes awhile to water and repair damage the damned squirrel here does in digging up the soil early in the morning!

I think one of my feelings now is in emerging from sort of hibernation the last year or so due to my wife's situation, which I allowed to affect me. I am not blaming her - it is that I allowed myself to get protective of myself as well as lazy and disengaged.

*** Had an interruption and so was on hold here while online, but I received a callback from a really good friend from my last job who was my supervisor for five years. We had been playing phone tag last several months, but it was so good to hear from him and we have been able to finally have a long conversation to catch up. Wow. This has been a day! I told him I had felt kind of down that he hadn't responded to my calls and he told me he felt down in being too busy to respond and that he had responded and then I realzed I may have deleted his phone contacts because he had a new phone number and I didn't recognize it. Communication! Jerry told me something that I now realize is true and that is he searched for my name on Link and FB. My wife and I never registered and I have not since she has been in a nursing home, but now I am going to have to. There is too much potentiial out there for renewed contact with good people - mainly past friends- to ignore this nay longer even at my old age...*s* We are now planning to get together with a couple of other guys from when we all worked together and felt close for a pizza night and even families getting together.

Anyway, that is it for now, Take care NG and St. Marital, until next time.

Tom

Thanks for the update, Tom!

Well, it sounds like you'll have to get with the 'connected generation' and get on Facebook. I have a personal annoyance about Facebook and cancelled my account. I've managed to navigate life without it - imagine that!

Love the plants - I wish I had your green thumb.

Stay well, Tom!

Hello Marital, et, al.,

What can I say. Yea, I guess I am going into the current century in terms of communication. I am aware of complaints regarding security breaches and misuse etc., Believe me I know how to be careful, and am investigating it to network now and nothing else. I talked to Char tonight and told her. She didn't have any reservations and mainly because she isn't that computer or internet experienced, but they have conputers there at her home and she said she'd like to try this form of communication for us - i.e messaging. I just look at it as a tool to be in contact. I am not being critical Marital - just feeling this is something I have to do now to network more now.


Just winding down now for the night. Little apprehensive about tomorow and doing well because Catholic Charities is a solid organization and they emphasise teamwork and direct client contact. But in the email I received today the coordinator said welcome to our team. I just want to do well. Ya know what tho, I am relaxing now and teasing the cats, and they are kind of wild now since I brought out the bug! It is basically a toy mouse for cats and I just tied a couple of different colored yarns around it and attached it to a long black thread. It looks like a large beetle or spider crawling across the floor or chairs when I throw it out and reel it in and they are wild. Both of them leapt in the air about five feet a little while ago trying to attack it. Yea I know I'm a terrible tease as Char tells me but when I hear them bouncing off the walls and running up and down hallways to get that 'beetle' it just makes me laugh hard and it's just damn good for them. This maybe seems simplistic but I laugh so hard and they seem so entertained that this is a pleasure.

Tom

First day yesterday at CC was enlightening. Spent about three hours there in training and orientation mainly in the part of the food bank that serves AIDS/HIV clients. They want me there now on Wednesdays when most of these clients come for their weekly food supplies.

I was totally and favorably impressed with how they operate to serve hundreds of clients each week. It's alot more complicated and well-oiled than I ever thought. Had a chance to talk with the volunteer coordinator just before I left and it sounds like they will want me for other things as well as this progresses. One of the projects is the Christmas Toys program which begins right after Labor Day. It's run by a deacon in my parish - not the one I interviewed with - who was the former volunteer coordinator.

I've done some volunteering before, but it's been very local like leading a confirmation class which included our son at my old parish, coaching and school board stuff, but this stuff here that I'm encountering now is really different and challenging. It's challenging to me because you're not just working within your local church or community but with programs that serve a larger area of the county I live in. And, the opportunity to meet new people, not only the staffs at the library and CC, etc. but people who are really in serious need just is envigorating. Just makes me feel that I am a very small member of a much much larger community.

Tom

Very cool, Tom.

Your post resonates with the grace you will bring to these ministries. I envy you your willingness and ability to set service to others so highly in your daily priorities.

Do good work, my friend.

Concurrent events and initiatives never cease to amaze me!

I was thinking about you, Tom, and your new charitable ministry, because the candidate from our parish was ordained into the Diaconate last Saturday. I was unable to attend the ceremony, but am told it was very moving.

And then, and then.....

I read this from you today in another thread:

Only thing is I feel that NG is really going to be pissed that he hasn't yet been nominated for sainthood here yet. He is a good person really, but he has to go thru some additional procedures, so please treat him gently while he is under consideration.

I would point out two things for your consideration, my friend.

1) I THINK to be considered for sainthood, the candidate must be, among other things, certifiably deceased. (St. Marital might be the rare exception, like Mother Teresa, or Lev Tolstoy, in being declared a "living saint".) I would HOPE that if I am ever to be so honored, the designation would be long in the future!

2) And as for those "additional procedures", let's not get too graphic, but if they were to be formulated by SOME of the folks here (lay and Mods), I think I would respectfully decline the process altogether!

Anyway, I hope you are doing well!
St. NG???

I'd switch sides, no question!

Hi NG, I haven;t had a chance to look at my own thread here in awhile and I was going to post and saw your's. The sainthood thing is in kidding - think you realize that and it's fun to kid around, but seriously you are the most inspirational member here that I have encountered in terms of pro-marriage ba none. (Except maybe for Ms Bliss).

Am doing well NG and hope you are too. Having to get around w/o my bike and tough. Brought it in for repair today. Is hot here now, which is not a happy sitch as I have to go in to CC tomorrow and Fri. 101 tomorrow and looks like 90's thru early next week. The head of the food bank wants me to take charge as much as a volunteer can and I like that. Still very much learning tho.

I cannot go down to see Char early in July as I planned and tried to explain that to her last night. She is pissed and gave me an earful. I tried to explain to her again that this is important to me now at this stage of my life - it doesn't override her - but that initially now I am just becoming worn down and will take a break in August to visit her.

Have to break - my son just called and is coming over to get me to the store to pick up some heavy stuff - large cat liter bag and other stuff. Will end this segement with NG, have you looked into CC or other areas where you coult offer your skills?

Take care of you.....Tom

Sorry for having to break away - my son took me for groceries. Now just going to relax tonight. Have been getting tired more easily the last month so now am going to push this engine more - increase exercise reps, more protein, and more relax time. I think is due to having to walk so much.


The Catholic Charities NG is an amazing collection of dedicated people. Unfortunately they like many other agencies don't have enough resources lately to deal with all the needs - so it means parceling or extending the time for client revisits.

Tom

Tom, that's a very sweet thing to say, thank you! I just want our posters to remain in a happy marriage. Sometimes that takes a little work and encouragement.

NG, that guy He's a good poster. Very good, although sometimes he gets a little...oh, how to say this...strident. (I think he does it to tick off the mods, but that's just me. Yes, NG, I'm talking about you!

Tom, Char will have to accept your terms for seeing her. She knows that. She just doesn't like it.

Take flowers to her when you go to see her.

Hello NG,

Not exactly an update here - just responding here to your inquiry after my recent post on your story. Now have been at the Catholic Charities food pantry for about three months. Have met and worked with some good people including the manager of the pantry there. It's 'grunt' work NG - keeping the shelves stocked, unloading deliveries, etc. I also tho provide food to HIV clients from a special section of the pantry, so I do get to know some of the clients who are cared for there. Despite the 'grunt' stuff I like what I am doing and they seem to be happy. Am there two days a week and when I get home well I am pretty much depleted in a good way. I am just amazed NG how little time the food lasts. I can pretty much stock a shelf and next time I come in there are alot of holes to be restocked.

Well the road to any ministry is slow - just a grunt now - but usually takes at least a couple of years to demonstrate any veracity of a vocation. I did sign up to work on a Christmas gifts program, which begins this month. The person who heads up this program is the deacon at our parish who I met and talked with back last spring. I also still volunteer at our local library often, have contract accounting work, ride my bide almost daily, and will be getting back to my exercises this weekend - sort of abondoned them a week ago. My son came to stay with me for awhile now - he lost his bus driving job in the summer. He's down and not feeling that good about it, so I have to get used to making good meals and not letting his situation affect me. Fortunately, I have always liked preparing good meals, remember the things my mom did when prepearing meals, and have some good recipes from the internet.

I hope you are well NG, and you need to stay here, because despite any reaction, you basically tell it like it is and you cannot do more than that.

Tom