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Her mom will read the expo letter I wrote.But I am also worried mom will stand on her side.
I am public enemy to the reunion group.W said she will try her best to NC with them.One of the woman from that group,a cheater herself told W that she has a message for her from the OM.I told her to ignore her but W is extremely tempted to find out.This is a critical sitch.I told her one slip and she will be back to sq 1.
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She must not "promise to try." She must cut all contact.
This practice of someone passing on a message is not going to cut it. You must make it a requirement that she DOES NOT see them again.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Her mom will read the expo letter I wrote.But I am also worried mom will stand on her side.
I am public enemy to the reunion group.W said she will try her best to NC with them.One of the woman from that group,a cheater herself told W that she has a message for her from the OM.I told her to ignore her but W is extremely tempted to find out.This is a critical sitch.I told her one slip and she will be back to sq 1. xp your wife is still addicted to OM and if she finds out that message it will be like getting a hit off the crack pipe again. She will not recover if she still has these enabling friends. She needs to end all contact with these people.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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What should I do if she refuses to cut contact?She told me she doesnt want me to hurt OM by talking to his BW.She is now very confused and distressed from that phone call.She is seriously thinking about leaving me.
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What should I do if she refuses to cut contact?She told me she doesnt want me to hurt OM by talking to his BW.She is now very confused and distressed from that phone call.She is seriously thinking about leaving me. Have you exposed this to the OM's BW yet? If she refuses to cut contact with OM or with the reunion group? No contact with OM is non-negotiable. If she stays in contact with this reunion group your M will limp along. She is still very foggy and shouldn't care about "hurting the OM". She's going to leave you because you're fighting for your marriage? Don't listen to her and do not leave your house. If she wants to leave, let her. Has she started to pack her bags yet? I'm sure she's trying to "scare" you. You need to stand strong for your marriage and tell her "I will not have a marriage with 3 people in our Marriage" I will do whatever it takes to fight for this marriage.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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The evil reunion people called her today and messed with her head. W suddenly wants a divorce now.Just a few days ago,she was saying how stupid and selfish she was...today she is completely in the fog again!!!I know she misses the OM.I am at my wits end. This should be your answer about needing her to severe these friendships with these so called friends.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Have you asked her "are these reunion friends more important to you than our marriage"?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I exposed to OMW and thats how it ended the A.I was told OMW is having trouble keeping OM under control.W was fine and defogging before she got the phone call from the reunion .W initially promised NC with reunion and the OM.But W is fighting hard to resist the temptation to find out about the message the reunion group has to give her from the OM.They just told her they know the "truth"of what happened.You see,after the exposure,OM just disappeared .It was an abrupt end to their A and W wants closure.
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I exposed to OMW and thats how it ended the A.I was told OMW is having trouble keeping OM under control.W was fine and defogging before she got the phone call from the reunion .W initially promised NC with reunion and the OM.But W is fighting hard to resist the temptation to find out about the message the reunion group has to give her from the OM.They just told her they know the "truth"of what happened.You see,after the exposure,OM just disappeared .It was an abrupt end to their A and W wants closure. This is proof that exposure kills the affair, especially the spouse of the WS. Now you know why we were pushing you to expose. Hats off to your exposure  She wants to stay in touch with this reunion group because it's her way to get a hit off the crack pipe(OM). So how does she have contact with these people? The computer? Email? How can you take away her access to these people?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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She thinks these ep are too harsh but thats not what she said before that phone call.She's giving me a lot of fogtalk since that call.She said she just wants to know what that message,thats all.But we all know thats not the case.
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She thinks these ep are too harsh but thats not what she said before that phone call.She's giving me a lot of fogtalk since that call.She said she just wants to know what that message,thats all.But we all know thats not the case. You're correct that she is giving you fogbable and good job for seeing that. So take her and go do something fun. You need to do something fun with her so she gets her mind of OM and you are putting deposits in. Tell her like you would a drunk. "I will not allow you that drink and we are going to XYZ to get you away from your source". Do not let her have those keys. How much UA time are you getting? What are you doing to meet her top EN's?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Yes,EXPOSURE did kill the affair.I thank all of you for pushing that since day 1.But it seems like the nightmare is not over yet.The reunion group has her home number.They called so many times ,my W had to call back to tell them to stop calling.Thats when they messed with her head.I left W and return home yesterday.W was supposed to return tomorrow but she is talking about extending her stay.
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No UA time yet.She is still in withdrawal phase and depressed.She has no desire to recommit to our M yet.
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Yes,EXPOSURE did kill the affair.I thank all of you for pushing that since day 1.But it seems like the nightmare is not over yet.The reunion group has her home number.They called so many times ,my W had to call back to tell them to stop calling.Thats when they messed with her head.I left W and return home yesterday.W was supposed to return tomorrow but she is talking about extending her stay. How will she be paying for this extended stay? If you're paying for it you need to stop that. So you didn't stay with her on the trip? This is why we were encouraging you to not leave early. You need to get her home ASAP.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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No UA time yet.She is still in withdrawal phase and depressed.She has no desire to recommit to our M yet. She will not recommit until she feels in love with you again. That's why you need to be doing 20+ hours of UA time to create that love. Going and doing lots of fun RC. Have you got her into the doctor to get some AD's? Dr. Harely recommends AD's during this very trying time in your life.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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She is staying with her mom.She said she wanted to spend some time with her mom alone.I insisted to stay and I regret for not staying.Up to this moment,she will return tmorrow as planned.Hope this doesnt change.
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Thanks for reminding me about the ADs.I will talk to her about it.
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Thanks for reminding me about the ADs.I will talk to her about it. You might want to look at some AD's for yourself also. "Tell her we had such a wonderful vacation that I would love for you to come home and we continue our enjoyment" How will she pay for this extension? Is cost not a concern?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Cost not a concern cos she is staying with her mom for just a couple days.
Actually,our vacation was awful.She felt if the pain doesnt go away,she could not continue being with me.I guess I am partly to blame for bringing on that pain becos we ran into the OM on the street.He didnt see us but I got real emotional about it and was acting out during the whole trip.I need to avoid LB.
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