We are a blended family and my 16 year old son is at home with us, all his siblings are here, he is very involved in our church, in worship and is a kids leader, youth band etc. My other 3 kids live nearby and i have 3 grandchildren near also. We have a 4 year old daughter together. It has been a rocky road this far and lots of fights in regard to my relationship with my older children ahs been a big part of it. DH is 14 years younger and has a lot of insecurities. His way of thinking about family life is HUGELY different to mine.

My husband and i separated 2 weeks ago and he is thinking he want to move away (6 hours drive)to work in the church we moved away from 6 years ago. He believes he is called to do this.

His parents still have an unhealthy hold over him especially his mother, and this is where he would be staying, living with them, attending the church and working with his father in worship. There's a lot more history on all that, too much to go into.

My dilemma is this: He will always want to do this, he believes it's what God wants for him. He wants me to leave all my kids, including the 16 year old, and for us and our daughter to move back there. I've told him many times i have no interest in moving back, the whole situation is unhealthy for us all, and i feel like he wants to isolate me from the rest of my family........which is often what he trys.

Do i encourage him to get this out of his system and see what happens or ask him to stay? I know he will resent not going, he has said this himself. We are supposed to be working on our "stuff" with the goal being reconciliation but with this in his heart how can we move on.

I also feel once his parents have him back there they will influence him strongly to stay, with no thought to the rest of our family/ So long as they get what they want....

Tell him YOU are called to discuss this and to reach a joint agreement about this. That you feel that God would want the two of you to both feel equally compelled to do his will.
That you both need to find something that makes you both feel satisfied about your direction. That you both need to brainstorm until you both feel 'it is right'.

Then do it.

Exactly. The basis of MB The Policy of Joint Agreement

Welcome!!!

Welcome, Mareet.

Where is the father of your older children?

He is in Auckland, drugs and alcohol are his priority.........

Have you read these by Dr. Harley?
Blended Families #1
Blended Families #2