Tell your neighbour she rocks!

Yes, this can be done once I file, which it states above. I can ask again how long this will last, but I was told today from the date I file until divorce date. Of course, I could drag it out for years, but I don't really want to do that. I've got to put a time limit on all of this...

I wasn't advised one way or the other regarding whether I should file or not from the attorney that I spoke with today. She told me that I have a decision to make and gave me all the facts and what I could expect. Even discussed post-nuptial agreement, etc. I wanted to see what she could offer from all angles, including the laws, etc.

I have another attorney that I'll be meeting with or at least have a phone consultation with and I'll ask her about the article that you found.

No that is only one of the options in that paragraph. One of the options says filing for a D in not needed.

In other words, a Florida Divorce Complaint does not need to be filed to be able to file an action for Florida spousal support. If no divorce complaint is filed, a Florida spousal support action is technically called "Support without Dissolution" or "Separate Maintenance

Filing for divorce is a completely separate option to spousal support. It goes on to describe the second option of filing for a D, but not finalising it.

Another way that a Florida spousal support attorney may start a spousal support action is to include a count for it in a Divorce Complaint (in Florida called a "Petition for Dissolution of Marriage") when it is believed that the Respondent may allege that the marriage is not irretrievably broken. The final judgment in an action for Separate Maintenance will not end the marriage or distribute marital property but may provide for the payment of alimony, a child custody schedule and child support. Florida law permits either the Florida spousal support lawyer representing the spouse in need of support to petition for Support without Dissolution or the Florida spousal support attorney representing the spouse responsible for paying the support to petition for Separate Maintenance (although the later rarely occurs).




I personally gave myself six months as the vets told me a BS will struggle to make any permanent decisions before then. As it turned out, six months wasnt long enough and I reviewed and extended it. Now I will Plan B for life, though I have decided to press on with the divorce. I'll hear him out if he comes to me before its final..but Im not too keen to see it.

Personally, I would wait and see how he responds. If he does the right thing and takes care of business as he should, then hold off on filing.

If he gets petty and vindictive and starts withholding his financial obligation to you, then file immediately.

But, star, you can bet he's gonna get petty and vindictive, so I would have whichever lawyer you choose to retain to get the papers prepared so they are ready to file at the drop of a hat.

Just my thoughts.

I posted this earlier in your thread, but here it is again.
EP's by HerPapaBear

I have a gut feeling about what he is hiding... Had time to think about it and I think it's an old girlfriend from work. After we started dating, she went out on the boat with us along with her friend that was in town and other mutual friends. WH introduced her to me as a friend, same thing he did with OW#1. I remember her primping a lot that day and talking about WH taking care of her pets when she was out of town... lots of talking about old times on her end. That night we all went back to WH's house and I walked outside and noticed that she reached in to kiss him and WH pulled away.

Last year he went to a baseball game with three people from work that win tickets and she was one of those people. I noticed that he had put her number in his phone under her nickname. He told me that he only did in case he got separated from the group at the game, even though he had the male director's number who also went to the game. He was friends with her on fb and she posted a pic of herself with my H and another girl from work on her fb page. I was never friends with her on fb and she is always fake nice with me at work.

WH knows this could DESTROY our marriage, lifestyle, etc., because we all work for the same company. I think he knows that I would ask him to leave the company! I really think this could be the missing link!!!

Yes, sounds likely.

He was hoping for you to play nice, suck it up and salvage the lifestyle he casually has played roulette wth time and time again.

In Plan B ou get SO many ideas. You see so many holes in stories from the past.

It kind of ironic that as soon as the ball is in his court, you develop a whole new game.

Its the rest youre getting inPlan B. You get sharper and you have no one to consider but yourself, so the whole 'dont rock the boat' mentality that blinded you before is gone.

But its his job to prove truthfulnes now. Youre done.

This introspection in Plan B is also great for you as a person. You learn how to spot a liar from a mile away. Something I could never do before and now its so easy.

Funny how when you are thinking more clearly, things just sort of fall into place. Honestly, it doesn't matter WHO he is lying about, he is still lying. That's why he failed the poly. That's what matters.

Don't focus so much on the what ifs and what could bes. Just focus on YOUR healing. Until he is ready to PASS a poly, and be RH with you, he isn't safe for your emotional well being.

You didn't have any contact with him today right? That's a first step. Celebrate it. Until you get fully out of withdrawal, which will take a few days at minimum, celebrate that. Did you eat today? Did you sleep? How about exercise? Have you done anything to make you laugh today? Have you talked to a trusted friend? Leaned on someone for support? Pet those dogs?

I ate two meals today, spent the morning with my sister, deposited money into WH account for my portion of the bills, dropped of more of his belongings to my mom's house, visited the attorney, went for a drive with my dogs, talked to my mom, co-worker and neighbors and DID NOT COMMUNICATE WITH WH!!! Yeah ME!!!

WH came by the house tonight, but I wasn't home, so he left cut up apples (for dogs) with the neighbor to give to me. Hello? Does he not understand NO CONTACT???

That's because you broke Plan B before and he's testing you to see if you're serious about NC.

He wants to eat more cake.

Actually, he did similar things before through my mom and sister. He went by their house tonight too. My mom told him her main focus was me and that I deserved better. That's all I know, as I asked them to ignore and not relay information to me. Our neighbors told him tonight that it's not about him anymore... They told him its all about me now and my feelings. Everyone is being so protective of me right now. I asked them not to tell me anything he says.

Getting tired and need to go bed....
Day 2 was much better than I expected.
Last Plan B lasted 4 & 1/2 days, but I'm feeling much stronger this time around. I don't think I was quite ready before. I realize now how important it is to have strength before moving into Plan B (at least a little bit of strength). I'm in a better place now, maybe due to my LB being lower or finally experiencing anger. I have faith that I can get through it this time. I didn't realize the strength I possessed until now. I wake up every day wondering how I got through the day before, but I did! I'm going to keep on pushing to take care of me and do what is best for me! I have finally started to get my appetite back (a little), but it's a start! I can make it through this... one hour, one day at a time.

I still wish I could wake up from this horrible dream... I thought infertility was painful, but I never knew pain until I experienced infidelity and betrayal. All the prayers God received to give us a baby were being answered and we didn't even realize it. My own mom stopped praying to God, because she told him she was upset with him for not answering to her prayers and and she quit praying. My mom told me two weeks ago that she realizes now that God was listening, but it wasn't in his time and he knew it wasn't the right time. Sometimes we have to experience heartbreak and pain to see His bigger picture and what is meant to be for us.

It's hard to imagine that I would be experiencing what I am now, but I'm trying to have faith that my higher being knows what is best for me and will guide and walk me into the right direction of where I'm meant to be.

WH is trying to use my mom to get messages through to me. He wants his soccer stuff. Seriously?

Apparently he wasn't "trying to", he was completely successful.

I went through the same stuff with my family. People are so used to passing information, stopping is weird.

Get them all practised in saying 'don't give me a message for Star, because I won't pass it on and she wouldn't listen if I tried. Use her IM'

Even if he's successful in getting the message out, they shouldn't tell you.

If anyone tries to tell you a message, stick your fingers in your ears and sing.

With some relatives I needed a sandwich board and a bell, but they got it eventually.

The same procedure goes for news of him and pieces of gossip. You shouldn't hear any.

So, should I ignore his request to get his soccer stuff or take it to my moms? Seems like I should ignore him and his request, because then he will realize that he can go around my IM and get messages to me.

I can't believe that he NEEDS his soccer stuff at a time like this. Guess he's starting to play soccer again. He can buy new soccer stuff or do what is needed in PBL!

Yup, you got it. Coach your mum in what to say too should he come back to her. That you wouldn't allow her to even tell you. She and your sis have been great and this will actually protect them from hassle.



Haha! Considering most BSs are advised to Plan B even if it makes the wayward homeless, I think you can safely ignore this.

As of now you officially don't care what he wants or needs and have no way of knowing anyway.

Star --

He doesn't "need" his soccer stuff....he "needs" an excuse to break your Plan B.

Recognize it for what it is -- he's testing the boundries.

I would take it to Mom's for him.

Yes, he is trying to circumvent plan B but just take it to your Mom's and tell her in the future that she is to tell WH to have things go through IM.