I got a call from a woman yesterday telling me he has throat cancer and had to have a tonsillectomy and will now start chemo.

It's weird but I didn't feel anything. I can only think, sadly, that karma is tough. His mom died, his GF that he cheated on me with died, and now it's his turn. I pray he has an encounter with God sometime before he dies, but I don't hold a lot of hope out for that because he's shown me time and again that he is a fool and doesn't make wise decisions.

He had her tell me that he's applying for SSI benefits and they'd be contacting me (WHY?? We're DIVORCED!!) and he "didn't want me to find out that way." This man never cared about me a day in his life, he is a manipulative user. If he'd cared about me he would have made at least a feeble attempt to pay me back some of the $ he owes me, esp. after I lost my job. But he didn't. History and actions speak volumes more than words.

It feels weird to not feel a thing for someone you once loved and cared for. I'm sorry for what he's going through, but he never made an attempt to quit smoking in spite of what the doctors told him years ago when he developed a persistent cough. I would have taken care of him and nursed him on his deathbed but he threw me overboard for someone else, and now she's died of liver failure due to her drinking so she can't be there for him. Karma is tough, it really is. I don't mean that to be mean, it's just a fact, it's very tough.

He is living his self inflicted pain, and there is nobody but him to blame.

Walk away from his self induced pain ... you are free and clear ... just pray he makes it right with God.

(((kaycstamper)))

Wow sometimes the karma bus doesn't miss.

I couldn't have stated it better.

I totally "get" this.
You're OK.
It's not all that weird.

Love bank closed. No deposits, no withdrawals.

Opt,
I never thought of it like that, what a cute summation! I guess you're right! It makes sense...

Possibly a candidate for the next "Breaking Bad?" .. sorry .. I couldn't help that one.

However .. I do feel bad for your ExH getting cancer. Cancer sucks. I don't wish it on my worst enemy.

Well I just found out it's too far gone for Chemo.

How did you find out?

Hi KC, I haven't been around for a long time and just saw this. My goodness, karma does exist.

How are YOU?

MS

I thought this would be fitting here.

I can totally see where Ridic was coming from. I used to (and truthfully I still do but fighting the thought each time it comes up in my head) feel that I must be the most horrible person in the world to receive the amount of pain infliced by my XH.

A few of my GFs who are all so generous, loving, caring, responsible, unselfish, and hard working - got cancer. Then several men I know - they cheat, lie, use women, irresponsible, selfish, lazy, have addictions - they are healthy and in happy relationships.

You do wonder where the justice is. It does not matter how hard you try to be a better person, users/selfish ones benefit from us. These ladies, while of course they are not perfect, never cheated on their spouces, took care of their husbands and kids well, worked hard, offered so much to others, gave lots of love to people around them - it didn't matter. They got cancer. Not only men, I know a woman who cheats, seduces men to get $$$, prioritizes her love affairs over he own child, uses her 'friends' to her own benefit...., she is doing VERY WELL. Healthy and in a relationship with a wealthy guy who thinks she is the best thing in the world. The unfairness/injustice is everywhere.

If karma does exist, then it is easy for us to feel that we must be the horrible people to keep getting unfair results and pain.

This topic always raises my blood pressure over 300, so I'd better stop

If you would clean up your side of the fence and choose a man with higher standards than what you have previously sought, I guarantee you would live a much happier life.

You can only choose that man when you walk freely in your own skin. Stay away from men for a long while. Grow yourself ... I highly encourage Lovebusters and Buyers, Renters, and Freeloaders. Study them along with your bible. In due time when you have truly healed you will see great rewards from the hardwork you have performed.

Wow, PI, that's a bit harsh!

I think you all are taking this way too seriously and personally. I don't know if I believe in Karma or not. I know life isn't fair and it isn't just. I could apply PI's remark to myself as well (pick better) but then I have picked well a couple of times and death took one, and well the other didn't work out but we were married 23 years and had two wonderful kids together. I will add that what I have gone through is one main reason I am not even dating.

As for John...he has lived badly and although I don't wish his fate on him, Karma does seem to have caught him by the tail big time in this last year or so. You asked how I found out...I received a phone call. I don't know his new phone number so I didn't know not to answer it. I don't mind, really, he hasn't called since, and if he was hoping for anything, well it's not forthcoming. His day with me was over several years ago.

Let's be sensitive to each other and remember who we are talking too...fellow sojourners who have traveled the same road we have, and no, we didn't deserve it.

Hey, MS, it's good to see you too. I'm doing okay, getting a few more hours at work and hope to get more soon.

I am not taking anything too serious or personal. I have read Milkshakes thread and some of her problems are due to her own issues she has has to correct. She has created her own self induced pain. She has been on here for six years. The tools are at her fingertips.

I often asked her when did she take Dr. Harley's advice regarding her boyfriend of five years. Actually in reading her thread she mostly did everything Dr. Harley said not to do.

I have seen substantial success if you follow the rules. If you don't follow the rules you bring heartache upon yourself.

I encourage her to clean up her side of the fence, so she can be in a place to do better with the choices she makes with men. There is nothing to be sensitive concerning this issue. We either walk our talk or we will do no better then the wayward next to us. I would hope you would hold me just as accountable if I was living a life not morally sound and it was producing chaos in my life. I expect you to say, "Tough ... follow the rules, read the advice, and come back and post when you do what is right."

We have all learned a great lesson in these tribulations we faced ... actions are the only way to get to your habit ... your habit is the only path to change your character. What habits you build and what character you become is up to you.

You can call it Karma ... you can call it sin ... you can call it bad luck ... you can call it life. One thing is for certain the more you veer off the path of the 10 commandments the more ill you bring upon yourself. One cannot go through life destroying the lives of others without consequences ... We all are responsible for hurting others ... hence we all pay a price for the choices we make. It is human nature.

There are no guarantees ... the only guarantee is how you treat others. Karma isn't choosing to be hurt by the ones we love ... Karma is the choice to intentionally harm the ones we love. How you react by actions will determine which side of the karma bus you are on.

Someday it will be there ... that I am 100% certain.

Pl, which part of my post made you say that I mostly did opposite of what Dr. Harley said?

I was referring to my GF's health issues compared to lives of wayward men and women, when I commented on karma, and I was not eferring to my XBF at all this time actually, since he never cheated on me.

Sex and living together before marriage (not technically, but it was there ...) Also, you interviewed him for five years. Your relationship was maybe renter/renter at best, hence the arguments.

Dr. Harley suggests if they aren't marriage material by two years, then cut bait.

Well I didn't want to get into a debate about karma but it did seem he got away with things and now that's changed. I just think we need to focus on doing the right thing and let God handle how things come out whether this life or the next.