Oh and NO MC .. thats a waste of money .. your better off getting your divorces final .. and then getting some MB material and work it with your hopefully soon to be NEW hubby ... YOU CAN DO IT! Even tho your getting some 2x4s here .. dont worry about that .. take the good with the bad here .. and focus on the good .. focus on what you can do today to start making the changes you need.

His marriage: he was very young and met a girl with a couple of kids who had no home and no money. He tried to help her out, and married her. They were married for only a few months. He supported her. She took all the money he gave her for bills, food, mortgage, etc, and spent it on drugs. He had her kids taken away from her, and went bankrupt. He had no house, no money, no nothing, so he left. He didn't bother getting divorced, because he never expected to get remarried, so didn't want to bother with the headache. She has tried to get in touch to get him to sign papers, but he doesn't want her to know where he lives, as she has told him before she was going to send her brother to burn his house down. (Talk about trainwrecks...) He has told her to send the papers to his mother, and she will send them to him, and then he will sign them, but she refuses to do so. He also thinks she may have somehow gotten the marriage annulled in the meantime, because he heard she has gotten remarried, but I'm not sure about that.

Pray .. i understand what your saying .. but we can still offer help .. she is not going to go back to her husband ... she stated that already .. no point in trying to convince her of that. I dont see why we can not aid her as best as we can to make the eventual marriage with this new guy better than her failed marriage she is currently in thats awaiting to be finalized.

PSwidow

Your the only one taking your child Ito consideration.

Does the freeloader think about the child when he is having cyber sex with other women?

No he does not. His actions state that he does not care you cant make him so what do you do?

Stay in another depressing state and risk the kids seeing you upst , fighting and crying all the time?

I truly believe that your daughter would get more quality time with the freeloader if you were to separate and he gets visitations.

No matter how you spin it ... baby daddy is still married. This is adultery at its finest. This forum WILL NEVER support active adultery. The only option you have is to go NO CONTACT FOR LIFE until he gets a divorce.

MNG - you are starting to worry me with your posts. First your grandparents post and now these posts.

How do you know the OM's BW isn't trying to save her marriage. What if she is in Plan B here on the boards.

Are you going to believe this lying, adulterous OP about her OM situation? How many lies do WW or any wayward tell? When can a wayward ever be trusted to give the truth?

I help all my non married friends with MB material and they appreciate it ... gotta get them going on it somehow... married or not (i understand she is still married to her soon to be ex ... but its just that .. soon to be ex).

Get the books ... they are better than the articles. Far more info to relate to than the articles ... easier to comprehend and see the info in a practical situation.

If you learned all this about OM's history from him, you can bet your behind he is lying through his teeth. All OM do.

MNG are you actually on these boards supporting an affairage?

Pray .. i am just trying to be nice .. maybe too nice .. I realize we can only take her word ...etc ... so .. im just being the nice guy that I tend to be.

Don't get all sarcastic with us. Use your brain. If you were in a marriage you couldn't repair, YOU GET OUT OF IT BEFORE YOU START DATING LIKE A TEENAGER. Now you're getting it. You could do that, you know. What a gift for your children, to have their dad at home instead of some guy. What divorce? Uh-huh. We see how that worked out. Fog-speak. Hopefully you'll get over that. The sign on the door says MARRIAGE BUILDERS. What were you expecting? Jackals seek out their prey. YOU came to US. Please think before you speak. I know you are trying to insult us, but that doesn't work here.

We'll be here when you're ready to get serious about repairing the damage you and your married boyfriend have caused in your lives and the lives of your spouses and children.

NG this relationship is only 1 year and he has started cheating. Do you really reccomend PS stays with someone who can't even be faithful for a year never mind a lifetime?

PS has already stated that she tried to make her marriage work for 8 years while her husband was repeatedly unfaithful. So this makes me think that PS might waste another 8 years on is guy and end up with the same result.

The freeloader simply does not want to do any work of anything so how can she make him commit to anything when he does not care or respect any form of commitment?

MNG you are telling her to get married and have an affairage. What if he is someone's WH on these boards?

I encourage you to re-read Dr. Harley and listen to his radio program. Affairages are NEVER EVER supported on these boards, and I am shocked you are taking the word of a wayward.

How are your boundaries holding up MNG? I encourage your FWW to start posting here.

I get what your saying .. We kicked grandma and granpa to the curb recently for their adultery ... BOTH of them .. even tho we helped grandpa. WE could not tolerate his adultery either. I feel bad about it ... and I still want to help him but cant when he is dating his wifes affair partners wife. WE told him that .. and he just hung up. So i get it ...

Like I said .. I am just trying to help and giving her the benifit of teh doubt that shes telling the truth.

Widow, have you read the articles about why it is a bad idea to live together before you are married? That is Dr Harley's advice. The point of this forum is to help posters get answers to questions about Dr Harley's advice.

From what I have read, DrH would suggest that you end this relationship with your current beau, and divorce your WH, and not date until your children are older.

A relationship that is not a marriage doesn't have the same level of commitment that a marriage does. You also don't have the same amount of history that someone with a longer relationship has. Even if you were married, I would probably still suggest that you get divorced, and not date until your child is older.

If you are going to follow MB in this, then you would, as zibbles, I believe, suggested, do Plan A for 3 weeks MAX, and then separate and enter Plan B. Are you ready for that?

My boundries are GREAT! ... feeling better than ever lately ... UA time is going fabulas ... I try to get my wife to post here .. and she has .. but shes so busy ... she tells me she doesnt have time to .. my job is pretty slack .. so i get tons of time from my office to post.

Her forum name is MrsNiceGuy ... go read her post if ya like .. it sums up how shes feeling most of the time .. pretty much

But my time is up .. so i will be back on monday .. got a date night with mah hunnie!

That didn't stop you with your husband. You kicked him to the curb, didn't you?

I get that you all think I'm a terrible person for getting in another relationship, even though my marriage was over and divorce proceedings were started, etc. I get that. I disagree. I was apart from him for two years and getting my life on track, and I absolutely do not think it would be a "gift" to my children to have my ex back in our lives. He was a terrible husband and a crappy father. Just because we made the dumb decision to get married doesn't cancel out everything he did to us. To suggest that would be a "gift" is just bull. If you think that's a good thing, then it's quite apparent I'm asking for advice from the wrong people.

Yeah, my relationship sucks right now. I am hoping to salvage it. MNG for one is trying to give me the tools I want to need to work on it, and for that I am grateful. I don't want this one to play out like the last one. Maybe there is no hope for us. Maybe there is. I admit I'm not optimistic. But I'm going to try. And you can think what you want of me. Obviously we're not going to see things eye to eye, so I won't be looking for help here again.

What she said. MNG, Dr. H does not advocate remaining in an adulterous relationship for ANY reason. It sounds like you're subscribing to the 'horse has already left the barn' philosophy.

It hasn't. They are married to other people. This is an adulterous affair.