Yeppers, it was the "whip-round". It does sound much more interesting than "collection".

Those bathtime treats sound fun.

Keep helping your friends along. That's what good friends do afterall.

IG - to aid you in your zombie getaway plan read this

lol, i am the zombie queen! currently wearing my original '79 dawn of the dead t-shirt. i also dream about zombies (loss of control much?). i'd like to blame it on my teaching-film choices (TWD this year), but i've had them since i was quite young (well, those, and dying in a plane crash - also supposedly a control issue).

yes, i agree that waywards are total zombies! too bad we can't chop off their heads :-P

ps: are those fizzes from lush? i love them. discovered them in scotland, and so glad they came to nz!

pps: i also had a crappy wayward dream this weekend :O( something in the water? air?

Yeah! You gotta love Lush.



Hahahaha thats amazing!

Trying to sort out the insurance to get my door fixed, is proving to be a nightmare... because I don't know who I am insured with. Arranging our insurance was WHs job and he was never very keen on transparency.

I will NEVER be in a non transparent marriage EVER again.

I assumed our Bricks and Mortar insurance (which would pay for the door) was with the same people we pay our mortgage to.

And apparently so it was, until 2008, when Softlad cancelled the policy.

I went cold when I heard this from our mortgage people. Had he just cancelled it for more spending money? If you dont have bricks and mortar insurance, your mortgage isnt valid. That doesnt sound like the sort of risk he would take. Or is it?

Ive been looking back at the intermediary emails at the start of Plan B. He told my IM that both insurance and mortgage come out the 1st of the month and that we should split the cost (Both contents and B&M) so if he is telling the truth that's fantastic. Hopefully he just moved the policy to another insurer because for years we didnt have contents insurance (we couldnt afford anything expensive anyway)

But when we got the laptop and some games gonsoles and he got some expensive golf clubs, he started to talk about getting contents insured. This was around 2008 so maybe he just found a deal and went with it, and so moved our B&M insurance.

I hope so. Because I'm not allowed to jump on a plane and murder him in Plan B. Or most country's laws.

But if he's been swindling me the cost of the invented monthly insurance bill all this time, I will have to hit something.

Get a punching bag or play a violent videogame. Channel that anger into something healthy! Goodness knows after this you need an outlet...

You never know what waywards will do. Personally, I've seen enough here on MB to be prepared to hear just about anything from a wayturd.

What a disappointing blow. Hopefully this will be sorted without much grief. Maybe a punching bag should be part of the BS toolkit.

If it's anything like the US, you can find out your insurance information from your mortgage lender. The 'loss payee' clause means the insurance pays the lender first, so lenders are motivated to make sure there is insurance in force at all times.

It's not much like the US.

Good luck, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. It is a week in hell for many of us.

You sure about the laws on allowing you to...?

Sorry this is happening and yeah, the transparency thing..very important

But hey, his own eyes were so cloudy he couldn't even see himself right?

Can't blame a dog for being a dog. They can't think..Oh yeah thats right, softlad can think..he chooses not to.

I am sure the banks made sure the house was protected, or the mortgage's company did. Follow that lead

Ill check again. They weren't very helpful before. Just said it was cancelled and to check with him regarding the new policy he will have had taken out. But I was a bit sideswiped and didn't push it.

I hope Softlad is on the level and comes back to my IM with the details of the policy.

It isn't nice to have your hard earned things swooped away and sold for pennies on street corners.

I'm starting to save up for a holiday to India in autumn with a friend and I'm already pining for Wii Zumba!

One of the major changes that I had in Plan B was having to figure out how to do things WITHOUT contacting my IM to contact WH. I needed to figure out ways around things. I didn't want to open any doors that he would be able to piss me off about. Seems that MANY waywards will use the BSs asking for certain things as a show of weakness, and will attempt to manipulate it to their satisfaction.

You raised a valid point, one I hadn't considered. Seems it doesn't matter what we say or do they manipulate it for their own purpose. Sad we have to continually look for ways to prevent supplying them with any further ammo to use against us. What is it with the wayward mind that they need a fix or scapegoat to keep their fantasy alive.

indie, i find it hard to believe that the company that services your mortgage would allow it to go uninsured since 2008. it must have insurance somewhere. sorry you had to go through IM to do it though. something to put on your to-do list!

So I rechecked with the mortgage company.

They can only tell me what's on my account and there isn't any mention of the new insurer on my account.

She said it wasn't essential they have that information listed there was nothing they could do to tell me any more.

She also told me that if he'd taken out the new insurance in his name only, with the same company (I asked) they wouldn't be able to talk to me about it due to data protection (a very annoying uk law which treats husbands and wives like separate entities)

So even if I had found the insurance paperwork (I was going through his paperwork stuff yesterday) I possibly wouldn't have been able to claim as its his policy, not mine.

Even if my solicitor requested his financial records (a costly exercise) the insurer wouldn't talk to me when its in his name.

If it even exists. Yet I've been transferring the money for that bill into his account every month.

Apparently I am dependent on his being cooperative here. But I'm not asking for any favours. Its his property too and its been damaged. I'm not asking for anything I haven't paid for every month. I am not asking him to be any more cooperative than I was in agreeing to pay.

If he says no, then I will stop paying that bill and take out my own policy. His family are also aware of the break in and will be horrified if he witholds the insurance policy.

Got an email from my IM. He wont give her the insurance info but he has passed it to my sister and BiL.

My BiL hasnt been very supportive. I know he encourages WH to try and contact me, he thinks this will help. He thinks MB and not talking is stupid.

Got a text from my sister saying she had the insurance companies name, up to me if I wanted it as he wouldnt use IM.

I texted her back saying I had read WHs name in her text and so I had deleted it unread.

I've told my IM that if he doesnt want to give her specific account info, he can pass that on through my sister, and I will OK it with her first and accept the message as I am expecting it.

Its similar to the deal Starfish has. Any sensitive info is not given to the IM but passed to her mother in writing.

I'm fine with that, if I OK it first, but I'm not having random messages come at me through third parties he chooses without the IM directing him as to my wishes.

But it does sound as though there IS insurance cover, which is something.

He called me at work!!!!

I'm a reporter so anyone can call the newsroom. Just bad luck that I picked up. Anyone else would have asked who it was.

A male voice said 'Indie?' and when I said 'yes' he said 'the insurance company is xxxx'

I completely did not recognise his voice. So much so that I said: "Who is this?" When he said "Never mind who..." I hung up.

Wow. At one time I could have picked out his voice in a crowd full of people. He and I also have very strong regional accents, very different to the readers of the newspaper I work for, which is in another county. 'Scousers' sound very different to the rest of northern England.

Yet I didnt pick up on his accent, he just sounded like Standard English.

Sometimes my accent disappears on the phone and I sound more standard but his NEVER does. Like most men his accent is stronger and less displaceable. I didnt even know he COULD smooth out his accent. It could be working abroad that has done that.

Just odd.

I was shaking afterwards but now I'm OK. What do I do with the company name he gave me though? Until I ring the insurance company, my back door can't be fixed and isn't totally secure.

They're bound to want a policy number though.

Have IM ask for the policy number so that you can contact the insurer for a claim.

Don't imagine drama or get into it.

Maybe get an alarm system for the house?

Wow, can't believe he called you, after being in a dark Plan B for so long.

If it were me I would have been in shock (briefly).

The cops said that could be a good idea if I work late shifts. maybe if I get the money for insurance I could afford a good one.

Im not sure though. If I hear an alarm I simply think something has set it off, I dont think my neighbour is being burgled.

I was leaning more toward CCTV. My front and back door are to the side of my house around a corner and secluded. So thieves could work away at the doors without being seen from the street. Especially the back door which is also behind a solid side gate. the cops suggested fake cameras but I was thinking real ones.

The cops also suggested I get timed lamps near windows. That would be a help on days when I leave for work at 2pm and dont get home till 10pm,

One thing I am definitely doing is getting trellis. I dont know what the non-British word for that is! Wooden crisscrossed support for climbing plants on a frame. The police say if I put trellis on top of the seven-foot walls where they jumped over into the back yard, they wouldnt have been able to get a hand hold. It collapses and causes injury and so burglars avoid it.

Its cheap and pretty so im doing it.