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Conversation,affection,financial
She fell in love with me when we were in high school...not sure if it was love back then.Then we maintained a long d relationship on/off for several years.Back together again til now.She used to say I am someone whom she could enjoy talking to for hours but ever since the A,she complained our conversations have become very stressful and often leads to conflicts.She and the OM can fb chat day and night.She said she fell in love with the OMs words. Well then you need to have good conversation with her. Read this, especially the part about friends of good conversation. The Friends of Good Conversation
Remember how it used to be? You and your wife used to be fascinated with each other. You would support and encourage each other. Empathy and understanding were almost effortless. You had many common interests to talk about. Somehow, you need to resurrect the kindness, consideration, empathy and interest you once shared in your conversations with each other. The whole article is here Conversation is Boring Don't have any affair talk for now. Get her back with you and fill her lovebank with lots and lots of deposits. Avoid all lovebusters. Affection is an easy one give her hugs and touches. You know? How to Meet Needs for Affection #1 How To Meet Needs of Affection #2 Can you do this?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I can do it except I would want to talk to her about that phone call she got from the reunion people.That call really affected her.She hated OM for disappearing all of a sudden but she told me OM is still in love with her and for some reasons beyond his control,he couldnt contact her for now.If OM does make contact with my W,she would not tell me becos she said she didnt want me to hurt OM by telling his BW.Everything changed after that call.
A little update.OMW send me a msg asking if my W was still in contact with OM.Also,OM reinstated his fb account after several weeks of disappearance.
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I can do it except I would want to talk to her about that phone call she got from the reunion people.That call really affected her.She hated OM for disappearing all of a sudden but she told me OM is still in love with her and for some reasons beyond his control,he couldnt contact her for now.If OM does make contact with my W,she would not tell me becos she said she didnt want me to hurt OM by telling his BW.Everything changed after that call.
A little update.OMW send me a msg asking if my W was still in contact with OM.Also,OM reinstated his fb account after several weeks of disappearance. What did you tell OMW's? I'm concerned that OMW's wife may know something that you don't know.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I told OMW I didnt think so but we needed to be cautious to ensure they dont.I also asked why she was asking and if she had suspected anything.Reunion told my W that OM is probably having problem with his BW and OM has been spending a lot of time away from home.I got nervous hearing that becos W and I even admit that if it werent for OMS keeping OM on a tight leash,the A would not have ended.W told me she thinks(probably hopes) they will get divorced.
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I told OMW I didnt think so but we needed to be cautious to ensure they dont.I also asked why she was asking and if she had suspected anything.Reunion told my W that OM is probably having problem with his BW and OM has been spending a lot of time away from home.I got nervous hearing that becos W and I even admit that if it werent for OMS keeping OM on a tight leash,the A would not have ended.W told me she thinks(probably hopes) they will get divorced. Something seems fishy here. You need to talk to OMW and find out what she knows. Did they break NC?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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OMW replied and said thank you.I then messaged back asking if she was suspicious of anything.She hasnt replied back yet.
As far as I know,she didnt break NC with OM but she did with the reunion.
I also told W about the msg from OMW.Should I not have?Is it ok to engage in conversations about them?
Last edited by xtremepain; 04/30/12 04:06 AM.
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THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!
I am soooo depressed I cant function properly.
My W came back today and told me she wants to separate.She is leaving me for the OM.3 weeks ago,my expo killed the affair.She maintained NC with OM until today.He told her he is divorcing his wife.He told WW to leave me.She said she made up her mind and is leaving.The whole reunion group is on this.WW was on her way to airport to return home when they caught up with her before she left.I am so messed up now...cant think properly.....OMW asked me if they had made contact recently and I said i didnt think so.I thought things were going well since the A ended.What should I do now?Is this the end.....should I just give up after having gone so far?I am in sooo much pain now/.
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Retain an attorney. Start Plan B within a week. Tell her this ~~~> "I need my space. Please move out."Have you read the Plan B instructions?
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** LINK ** How to Plan B properly Plan B is NOT "giving up". Plan B is to rescue yourself from the madness & chaos. Do NOT move out. She wants to leave. Open the door. "My desire is to save our marriage.
It is not my desire to be your warden.
You are an adult, you are free to move out, if that is your desire."
YOU NEED AN ATTORNEY.
Tell OMW. Tell the entire family.
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Memorize this:
"I will not discuss any legal issues with you.
Only with my attorney."
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She didnt ask for a divorce.She wants to leave and move back with mom.I told her no contact for life and I wont be her friend.She knows about plan B and she said ok.She also knows affair partners has a small chance of succeeding but she said she wants to take a chance even if its just 1%.She said she doenst care about MB but then said she will use MB on her new relationship with OM to make it work and succeed.Back in the fog,thicker than before.
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WW told her mom .She doesnt really care.WW will move back with mom.
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I will tell OMW but I think she cant do much now that OM is divorcing her.WW told me not to tell OMW and if I do,she wont tell me anything from now on.
WW is my biz partner so she said she is willing to stay for a few months to settle things
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Are you going to Plan B?
Have her move out ASAP.
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Should I keep her in the house for as long as I could?she did mention that she could stay for a few months for the biz.
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Neverguessed has mentioned several times that spouses that move out rarely come back......
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THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!
I am soooo depressed I cant function properly. Pardon me for taking what you wrote about your emotional distress at face value. I am recommending Plan B based on what you WRITE about your current level of pain.
You cannot properly Plan A, given your current emotional distress. If you are going to express how utterly devastated you are, we MBers are going to believe you. So, are you LESS depressed than you were a few moments ago? Is it NOT "the end of the world"? We are to believe what you say about yourself, or we are not. Which is it? Are you exaggerating your distress?
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I am not exaggerating my distress.I am in a lot of pain and feeling its the end of the world.I thought everything be ok when OM disappeared and I wont lose WW afterall.WW and I even admit that if OM were to divorce his wife and come looking for WW,she would leave me for sure.
But I kknow separation could be dangerous as some members said they rarely come back.
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Are u saying if I could handle the pain,I should stay on Plan A?
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She talked about leaving before but not as certain and adamant as this time.She never left becos OM never promised her anything.But this time,he promised her a future and he will divorce his wife.I never felt this hopeless before......even when her A was active,I was still confident and knew there were things I could do such as exposure.
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