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Dont try and figure out the alien wayward mind.....i have tried, so have others, it is impossible to do.
Make sure your lawyer files. It will protect you and your children. Filing does not mean your headed the divorce path. Your WW may think you are. Dont worry. Protect you and your kids. Have the filing down on the grounds of adultery, such a huge advantage in the fault state we live in. You have the power to control things if you do this part first.
Dont listen to the WW fogbabble. And take time for you to breath. You will ne ok, really, it will be that awful rollercoaster, so expect it.
Edited to add: No SF, in this state it actually "forgives" the affair, and the whole process would have to start from scratch.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Just saw counselor, and he told me to get a new lawyer. The counselor's view is a man should never leave his home. So I think my counselor is on the same page as ya'll. He told me to write her a letter telling her I still love her and to tell her I wanted to reconcile the marriage but only of she will end the affair. If she wasn't willing to end the affair and reconcile then I would sue for divorce based on the grounds of adultery.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Just saw counselor, and he told me to get a new lawyer. The counselor's view is a man should never leave his home. So I think my counselor is on the same page as ya'll. He told me to write her a letter telling her I still love her and to tell her I wanted to reconcile the marriage but only of she will end the affair. If she wasn't willing to end the affair and reconcile then I would sue for divorce based on the grounds of adultery. Didn't you already write her one? You're in Plan A so it can't hurt. Post it here to get advice first. Smart counselor to tell you to stay in your home. Are you going to file on the grounds of adultery like all our fellow SC MB warriors informed you?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Major update.....
The female friend of the OM sent a reply back to me saying she has been dating the OM for a month now. She wants me to send her proof before she confronts him. This information just made my day.
Yes I'm going to file on grounds of adultery.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Don't know if ya'll got the update but found out today that the OM has a girlfriend. She is one of the ones I sent the exposure letter to. I just didn't know they were dating, thought they were just friends.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Just saw counselor, and he told me to get a new lawyer. The counselor's view is a man should never leave his home. So I think my counselor is on the same page as ya'll. He told me to write her a letter telling her I still love her and to tell her I wanted to reconcile the marriage but only of she will end the affair. If she wasn't willing to end the affair and reconcile then I would sue for divorce based on the grounds of adultery. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Don't know if ya'll got the update but found out today that the OM has a girlfriend. She is one of the ones I sent the exposure letter to. I just didn't know they were dating, thought they were just friends. Bingo!! Now go and tell your wife this TONIGHT! Did you tell her you caught the OM in your home and that your wife admitted to the affair?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Major update.....
The female friend of the OM sent a reply back to me saying she has been dating the OM for a month now. She wants me to send her proof before she confronts him. This information just made my day.
Yes I'm going to file on grounds of adultery. Your proof is that you caught him in your home.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Sending her that info along with pictures and the text message logs. The girlfriend knew they were Texting but I don't think she knew to what extent. Plus she knew he ate dinner with my WW at my house. The Lord does work in mysterious ways.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Sending her that info along with pictures and the text message logs. The girlfriend knew they were Texting but I don't think she knew to what extent. Plus she knew he ate dinner with my WW at my house. The Lord does work in mysterious ways. This is the beauty of exposure. We have had this happen several times when the "girlfriend" of the OM would contact the exposing husband. OM are typically players and you are busting him! Did you see what I said about telling your wife? That will drive a stake in the heart of the affair! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Did you get a new lawyer then? Is WW still planning on seeing her lawyer tomorrow or was this just a rouse on her part?
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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I got a new lawyer, I talk to him on the 29th. He is booked that far back, I heard he is good and usually gets the person what they are asking for. Not sure about her, will have to wait and find out.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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I will definetly tell my wife. I think it is quite interesting that she is cheating on me and then the OM is basically cheating on his girlfriend on possibly on my WW wife depending on which one he met first, since he has only been dating the girlfriend for a month now and I think he has been talking to my wife for a little longer than that.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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This is the letter I am sending my WW...
"Dear WW,
I am writing this to let you know I still love you and still would like to work on our marriage. I am willing forgive you if you will end the affair. I am willing to forget the past and look towards the future and begin our new life together if you are willing to end the affair with no contact. I am still madly in love with you but I can not continue to fight for our marriage if you continue down the road you are on.
If the affair does not end and you are not willing to work on the marriage then you will leave me with no choice but to file for divorce on the grounds of adultery. I will have the courts to subpoena OM to appear in court. I will also have them subpoena all the text message records between you and the OM. I do not want it to come down to this but if the affair does not end then you leave me no choice.
I will leave you with this...
I _____, take you ______, to be my wedded wife/husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.
This is the pledge I took and I will honor it if you are willing to honor it.
I love you!"
Any advice would be greatly appreciated since all the advice I have revived so far has been spot on.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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totallyconfused, you are rocking right along! I am glad you are getting a new attorney, too. Please tell your wife right away about the OM.
I like your letter, but I would tell her all that in person. Can you do that?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Melodylane, at this moment I don't think I can. I had to take off work this past Saturday because I was to emotional. If she accepts reconciliation then I will garner the strength through Jesus to talk to her in person. Thank you for everything and keep me in your prayers.
Also I told the OM's girlfriend about how I caught them in my house. Waiting on a response back from her. I think I finally got an ally besides my family.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Did you tell your wife about the girlfriend?
You should also give your wife's cell phone # to the girlfriend. Encourage her to call her and ask questions.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Melodylane, this is what the girlfriend just sent me
" Look I would really appreciate it if you would stop sending me these messages. What happened in the past is just that, THE PAST. This is between you and her now. Please leave **edit** and I alone. We are happy together and u or anyone else is going to change that. I wish you luck and no hard feelings but please STOP.................."
Do these people have no morals. I mean he cheated on her while they were dating.
Last edited by MBLBanker; 05/02/12 07:08 PM. Reason: Removing name
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Melodylane, this is what the girlfriend just sent me
" Look I would really appreciate it if you would stop sending me these messages. What happened in the past is just that, THE PAST. This is between you and her now. Please leave **edit** and I alone. We are happy together and u or anyone else is going to change that. I wish you luck and no hard feelings but please STOP.................."
Do these people have no morals. I mean he cheated on her while they were dating. Thats fine! Just be sure and tell your wife ASAP about the girlfriend.
Last edited by MBLBanker; 05/02/12 07:09 PM. Reason: Removing quoted name
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Wife just responded to the email and basically told me it was over and she wasn't in love with me anymore. She wants to do this as peacefully as possibly so it doesn't cost her 10,000 dollars. So basically she wants to get everything and not have no repercussions for it.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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