Hi all, Found out last week that my wife has been txting and calling a man she met on online dating website.Been married for 7 years and have 2 kids.

I have a keylogger installed on all my comps/laptops and the laptop shows they started chatting last week sunday 22/04/12 and he gave her the number last week Wednesday. The txt and calls have been fast and furious mostly initiated by her (calling 4/5 times in space of 10mins then trying again in 30 kinda thing) She become totally unresponsive to me and on Thursday Last weeek she told she wanted to separate and didnt want to be with me anymore. Stated she had felt like this for ages and that we always argued. Now we've had our moments but i cant remember things being bad all the time.

Anyway I notice from the online account billing that the calls and txts are now plentyand she NEVER puts her phone down even when going to the toilet. On night I managed to sneak phone whilst she was sleeping and all the messages, call history had been deleted EXCEPT for the sent folder. She was saying things like "you too" " your voice sounds lush" etc so can probably guess what they were talking about.

I need advise on how to proceed, im in no doubt that this a EA abd have proof. I did confront her stating was there someone else( didnt show proof as I didnt want to close that source of information) she stated no just wanted to separate maybe she can realise that she cant live without me if I give her sapce.

Do I confront the other man? On the her profile and during the chats she stated she was single and had broken up with partner. If I confront the OM now, given that its been going on for about a week (the txts and voice ) will be break it up as its still early days?

I sabotaged the SMS settings so they cant txt anymore just voice calls. The calls are 10/15 daily just from her to him.
Am I too late to save my marriage?

She told me yesterday that she wants to move on and cant be bothered with fighting for the marriage because her love for me is gone. She also then repeats that some time apart might help her find her love. I've been lurking on this forum since I discovered this and realise that this is a code for she wants to continue talking to that man without interference and guilt and see where its takes him.

How to proceed from here? I want to phone OM and tell wife is married and to break all contact with her as it is affecting out marriage.

Does this OM have a wife? The most effective way to kill this affair is to expose it to to OMW and to people having most influence over your Wayward Wife. Talking to OM is quite useless usually.

Try to get OMW contact information and call her.

Here's more information about proper exposure - Exposure 101

He's a total stranger, met online on that Sunday. All I have at the moment is a user name.

and from his dating profile he's single and in his forties

Sorry you have reason to be here Arnold, but glad you found us.

The vets will be along soon.

Meanwhile, there is information they will need.

How old are you and WW?

Is this your first marriage? And WW's?

What are the ages of your kids?

Thanks. I'm 37 and WW is 35 and its both our first marriage. Kids are 5 and 8.

Just been reading your thread actually and it gave the guts to start my own.

SNOOP!!! Create a fake dating online persona. A single and sexy lady. Message him. Get the info. Find out WHO HE IS!!!

Get as much info as you can. Name. Location. Then you can start investigating his background.

Many men on online dating will give out FB info to a potential "date". ASK for this. Set up a fake account if need be so you can be friends with him on FB. Then you can access his friend list etc for exposure.

This may very well be a complete lie. Like your WW is "single".

You have his phone number, right? Try to find who is behind this number. You also said you have a keylogger at place, snoop around, maybe you can find a name match from your WW's computer.

+ Caracal's idea is very good!

Yeah will make dating persona and contact him sounding all sexy and young.

I'm steaming mad right now and just want to confront him and tell him to stay away. I know my wife is the one to blame for starting this and he obviously thinks he talking to a single mum of 2.

Keep blaming myself for not doing anything sooner...

Arnold, I would blow this up real quick. Contact the rat and tell him the truth about your wife. Tell him you have hired a PI, who is tracking his name and address using his phone #, and if he doesnt back off, hell is coming his way.

You can nip this in the bud real quick.

I would also tell everyone about her affair. Tell her parents, close friends, etc and ask them to use their influence to persuade her to end her affair.

Then sit her down and DEMAND that she end contact with him. Tell her this will go to divorce if she doesn't stop and everyone will know why.

I suspect this is a fairly new affair so it shouldn't be hard to stop if you act fast and act decisively.

Can you help me on what to say because I dont want to shout or anything and at the same time I dont want to appear like I'm begging him to stop.

Tell him you are "WW's" husband and you have discovered his affair with your wife and would like to hear his side of it. [that is an open ended question - you want to get him talking]

Tell him you have handed his phone # over to a PI who is tracking his full name and address now and doing a full background check. So unless he wants his world to blow up real quick, he would be wise to never contact your wife again.

Let him know there is no future with his wife because he would be never be accepted by her family or your children. You are making sure they all know who he is.

Can you find this guy on facebook?

WIll do, We had a long discussion yesterday about the state of our marriage and she more or less stated that it hadnt worked from the beginning. She went through all the problems mostly mine bein "lazy" and not working hard enough for family etc stated I wont/cant change and she doesnt want to wake up one day and think "where has my life gone?"

Tell him you have spyware on everything, her computer, her phone and a GPS on her car.

Does she work?

Not yet, I'm going to try to flirt with him online. Oh and thing is my WW has stopped going on the dating website but he still does( every profile has a thing telling you when he was last online)
He was no pic on his profile.

she just finished teacher training , hoping to start work in septmber

HE IS MARRIED!

I met my husband through online dating (we were both single of course). Men do NOT have profiles without their picture unless they are hiding something. The rate of actual single girls to single men is very much skewed in the female's benefit, so single men without pictures/very good profiles never get responses.

How was she planning on "moving on?" Is she moving out?