What do they really mean when they say �I should have ***EDIT***� What could she say that could hurt me more? Is this simply an ignorant attempt to deflect blame? I have told her I know she previously did indeed complete her rumination-why try to infer she did not? I know this to be a fact-she has no excuse/explanation for 3 hrs they were together.

It's the wayward's last line of defense. She's saying..."even though you know something happened, you know we were alone, etc. you weren't in the room and no one (other than OM and I) will ever know what went on in that room."

By definition this is a perfect example of gaslighting. She trying to convince you that reality differs from fact.

She'll continue denying until you convince her you that you KNOW the truth. Remember, she already knows the truth so there's no need for you to keep tying to convince her. Just know what you know and proceed from there.

Plus...if you keep quiet...and keep snooping there may just be "proof" to be found all about you (keyloggers...voice activated recorders, etc). Evidence and good bluffing skills do wonders to take down the wall of denial. On some level...many wayward spouse's get sick of lying about the obvious and once mildly convinced you know the truth...will give it up.

Simple answer: Liars lie and don't like getting caught

Mr. W

KM,

For some reason you have posted the same thread starter here and on other forums and then not responded to any advice. Then you stay away for months, then you come back and post something else completely disjointed...why?

Are you interested in getting help with your post-affair marital problems? If so, try posting three paragraphs explaining the background, and then respond to the responses. You can get real help here at MB.