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I am going back home. I will try to plan a her unless she decides to move out. I also was wondering what you thought about the message I want to send to the OM. At this point I just feel like I am being walked all over and I'm tired of it. I've basically have been walk all over my entire life from growing up to my job now and now this, I'm just tired of it. Like Tigerwes said I just need to grow a set and I finally ready to grow that set.
Me (H): 34 Wife (W): 29 Two kids ages 5 and 3 Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Would it do any good to expose to some more of her friends that may not now about it even though I have already exposed it to her family. I know there are probably a few of her church friends that do not know.
Me (H): 34 Wife (W): 29 Two kids ages 5 and 3 Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Go right ahead and expose. It can't hurt you. Everyone who could possibly influence her should be exposed to, family or not.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Go right ahead and expose. It can't hurt you. Everyone who could possibly influence her should be exposed to, family or not. I agree. Since Tigerwes gave you a man talk and you're growing a pair you need to stop being her doormat. Plan doormat no more. We used to have a very wonderful poster with that name but he isn't around much anymore but you should read his threads. 4 months after Dday One year after dday
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Here's his last update. Two years after dday
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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My list of things I need to do... Let me know what you think.
1. Move back home, be with wife and kids. 2. Plan A wife until I can't do it anymore. 3. Work on Plan B just in case. 4. Work on a list of EP's. 5. Read Surviving an Affair. 6. Send OM a message to leave wife alone or else. 7. Expose to some of her closest friends.
Me (H): 34 Wife (W): 29 Two kids ages 5 and 3 Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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My list of things I need to do... Let me know what you think.
2. Move back home, be with wife and kids. 3. Plan A wife until I can't do it anymore. 4. Work on Plan B just in case. 5. Work on a list of EP's. 1. Read Surviving an Affair. 6. Send OM a message to leave wife alone or else. 7. Expose to some of her closest friends everyone.
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You haven't read SAA yet?
Come on man, you've been on here way too long to have ignored this.
No wonder you're still in Plan Doormat.
I thought you already sent a message to OM? Isn't this the same OM you found in your home?
I'm confused on what you want? You said you won't go home because of what you caught with him and her even though everyone including Mel told you to get back home.
Why are you going to listen now? I thought you were speaking to a lawyer? What happened to that? I thought you were getting a RO against OM to stay away from YOUR home and kids?
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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You haven't read SAA yet?
Come on man, you've been on here way too long to have ignored this.
No wonder you're still in Plan Doormat.
I thought you already sent a message to OM? Isn't this the same OM you found in your home?
I'm confused on what you want? You said you won't go home because of what you caught with him and her even though everyone including Mel told you to get back home.
Why are you going to listen now? I thought you were speaking to a lawyer? What happened to that? I thought you were getting a RO against OM to stay away from YOUR home and kids? t2c, it's not like anyone's ignoring you, it's more like you are ignoring everyone yourself. Good advice has been offered, and you've utilized very little. Believe me pal, I feel your pain immensely, but no one here can help unless you're willing to do something. You haven't even ordered SAA yet and devoured it?? This is step one, and you won't even take that step? You've been told this many times. Partner, again, no one here can do it for you. You gotta get to work. Otherwise............. I know I've been hard on you, but I'm not going to apologize for it. You need a hard kick in the caboose to get going (and you know it), but frankly, my foot is getting a little sore. I am painfully aware of my limitations on this board, and I'm not the best one to have on your side when the really hard work begins, assuming you get there of course. Others will gladly pick up that baton when the times comes. But I will do everything I can to jump start you into action to the best of my abilities. Start doing, then come back and report your progress, and then everyone can go from there.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Went to the bookstore last night but they were out so I had to order it. Meeting with the lawyer on the 29th, he is the best one in town so he was completely booked until then. Do I need to read SAA before moving back home like letty said in my list? Trust me tigerwes I feel your foot.
Me (H): 34 Wife (W): 29 Two kids ages 5 and 3 Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Went to the bookstore last night but they were out so I had to order it. Meeting with the lawyer on the 29th, he is the best one in town so he was completely booked until then. Do I need to read SAA before moving back home like letty said in my list? Trust me tigerwes I feel your foot. No you can get back home and there's enough articles and posters to guide you. Do you know if she still is having OM in your home? Is she still in contact with him? Have you exposed to everyone and everybody?
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Also this from the Exposure 101 thread. An ingenious facebook exposure tactic devised by board member, Rainysweet, is to include a link in your facebook exposure letters to a private webpage with evidence of the affair. Instead of telling exposure targets to write you for the evidence of the affair, all they have to do is click on the provided link and the evidence pops right up! Rainysweet - who says she is not computer savvy - simply uploaded a photo of the infidels together along with a scanned card from the OW to her WH in the OW's handwriting professing her "lurve." This added great impact to her exposure, especially since the very deceitful, manipulative OW was denying her affair to all and playing the victim. Here are Rainysweet's instructions - thank you Rainysweet!! Thanks:)
I cannot claim genius for the web page - someone else gave me the idea. (It helps to work with a group of brilliant teachers who find the most amazing things. Most of us acquire a knack for tapping into amazing FREE things, as well:) I, honestly, am a bit technologically challenged. It took me probably 2 hours to set it up when all was said and done. Someone gifted at computers could probably do it much faster. It's very simple.
SETTING UP A WEB SITE:
*All you have to do is go to weebly.com. Enter name, email, set a password, and click "sign up." You might want to set up a new email to link to it, not use your regular one. People viewing your site do not have access to your email. It's mainly just for login, I think. But I set up a new one anyway, just for my own peace of mind.
It walks you through the steps. You name your site. You can do only 1 page, or add as many as you want. It's already formatted nicely, my friends thought it was a professional website that I had just posted to. You can enter text, and upload photos from your computer.
It gives an option to set up a blog. I would strongly advise against that. If you do a blog, other people can post comments, etc. You don't want this to turn into a mud-slinging or 10,000 questions site. You want the impact to be - here's the evidence, see what you need to see, have a nice day. You want to stay in control of it, not open it up to other people (supportive or unsupportive). I didn't put OW's name on the site at first, but people told me I needed to so it would be clear who she was.
I did include a couple of comments, but mostly I wanted the impact to be from the evidence, not me shooting off at the mouth. I also received feedback to include her maiden name, her whole name as it appears on Facebook, so high school friends would still recognize her. I scanned in a card from her to my husband with just a simple message, about love and forever:) in HER handwriting, and then a few pictures. Enough to get the point across. Be reasonably tasteful.
I can't find exactly where it is without going through all the steps again, but near the end there is an option to "set search engines." DON'T do that. You want it to be a private site that someone can't just look for - they have to have a direct link.
You can go back in and edit anytime - add or remove pages, photos, etc. If you leave it open and don't log out, it will appear as something like, "site maintenance underway, currently unavailable, check back." If you ever need to turn it off for a bit for some reason (in my case, I was trying to get a more incriminating photo) that makes it unavailable to people, but shows them they can come back.
Make sure you have a strong password, maybe reset it often - that's easy to do as well (and another reason for setting up a new email as your username, one that people do not know). It will show you the website link at the end.
I put a note at the bottom of my exposure letter that said, "I am not going to subject anyone to images they do not want to see. If you want to see proof of this affair you can go to: website." FB automatically posts it as a link.
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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In the midst of everything I didn't think about a Christian bookstore might have SAA. Going today to check it out and see. If I can get it today then I don't have to go pick up the one I ordered.
I was reading that thread last night Brainhurts. I thought it was a great idea if anybody wanted real evidence.
I didn't really expose to her friends. I just did family and naturally her family took her side.
Me (H): 34 Wife (W): 29 Two kids ages 5 and 3 Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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In the midst of everything I didn't think about a Christian bookstore might have SAA. Going today to check it out and see. If I can get it today then I don't have to go pick up the one I ordered.
I was reading that thread last night Brainhurts. I thought it was a great idea if anybody wanted real evidence.
I didn't really expose to her friends. I just did family and naturally her family took her side. Expose to everyone. Do you know if she's still in contact with OM?
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Yes I believe so, I'm fixing to contact my cousin in new jersey who is friends with the OM on his Facebook page. This cousin has been keeping tabs on the OM's Facebook page.
Last I checked with my cousin she was still commenting on his post.
Does anyone know anything about GoogleVoice.
Me (H): 34 Wife (W): 29 Two kids ages 5 and 3 Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Google voice is a phone number you get from Google. It allows you to make calls from your PC, text from your PC and it gives you voice mail and other features. You can also use it on a smart phone like android or an iPhone and send texts that don't show up on your phone bill.
Last edited by HapHusb; 05/26/12 08:14 AM.
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Thanks Hap, I have few numbers WW is Texting and I can't find information in the numbers using intelius. Don't know of any other program to use.
Me (H): 34 Wife (W): 29 Two kids ages 5 and 3 Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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What is the date that you will be moved back home?
And "soon" is not acceptable.
It is a lomg holiday weekend...FYI.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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I'm pushing myself for tomorrow.
Just stopped by Christian bookstore hoping to get my hands on SAA but no luck. Will have to wait for the one I ordered to come in.
Me (H): 34 Wife (W): 29 Two kids ages 5 and 3 Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Why put off tomorrow what you can do today?
What is that saying? "blank" or get off the pot.
You have been here 2 months. How much have you accomplished?
Will you still be here in 2 months in the same spot?
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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