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Marriage Builders Forums Infidelity Surviving an Affair So confused.

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Re: So confused. BrainHurts #2625374 05/14/12 12:28 AM
Joined: May 2012 Posts: 11 D davey18 OP Junior Member
OP davey18 Junior Member D Joined: May 2012 Posts: 11	Nope he is gone. NC letter? Again another abbrv. sorry. As for ultrasounds and x-rays. With the likely signs I probably have cancer. I want to be able to forgive my wife completely if that is the case. I want her to be able to live without regrets. Her choices were bad and I accept my flaws as I always have. Did she ever love me the truth may never be known. But for her sake and mine I wish for her to be absolved but am afraid it may take too long. I only wish for the best and that my kids know I wasn't a complete failure as a man and husband.

Re: So confused. davey18 #2625377 05/14/12 12:43 AM
Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 Moved to Uranus B BrainHurts Member
BrainHurts Member B Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 Moved to Uranus	Originally Posted by davey18 Nope he is gone. NC letter? Again another abbrv. sorry. As for ultrasounds and x-rays. With the likely signs I probably have cancer. I want to be able to forgive my wife completely if that is the case. I want her to be able to live without regrets. Her choices were bad and I accept my flaws as I always have. Did she ever love me the truth may never be known. But for her sake and mine I wish for her to be absolved but am afraid it may take too long. I only wish for the best and that my kids know I wasn't a complete failure as a man and husband. Did you read this? Acronyms and Abbreviations NC=No Contact Read this No contact letters You would have her write one and you approve it then you send it to her OM. FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.

Re: So confused. davey18 #2626308 05/16/12 08:42 PM
Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 6,352 New York N NeverGuessed Member
NeverGuessed Member N Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 6,352 New York	Just checking in, Davey - anything you'd like to discuss?

Re: So confused. NeverGuessed #2627652 05/19/12 11:44 PM
Joined: May 2012 Posts: 11 D davey18 OP Junior Member
OP davey18 Junior Member D Joined: May 2012 Posts: 11	Thanks for asking Neverguessed. It has been a difficult road towards healing. The laws laid down are not something I'm accustomed to nor do I wish to make her a servant. But all cell phone, e-mail etc etc activity have been given openly. I'm aware it will take time and dang is it painful. She feels so relieved that its open yet I still feel so much pain. Counselling is going well and I feel like an idiot that we have to go, but trying to get her to understand my pain is a challenge. In one instance I can tear another mans arms off yet I know I', so soft inside. I just suffer from the fear that I may be gone before I can forgive and forget. It is ok for me to live with regrets yet I wish none for others I lived my life and I made mistakes and I can live in peace knowing I made it an effort to correct those mistakes.

Re: So confused. davey18 #2627655 05/20/12 12:15 AM
Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 Moved to Uranus B BrainHurts Member
BrainHurts Member B Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 Moved to Uranus	Originally Posted by davey18 Thanks for asking Neverguessed. It has been a difficult road towards healing. The laws laid down are not something I'm accustomed to nor do I wish to make her a servant. But all cell phone, e-mail etc etc activity have been given openly. I'm aware it will take time and dang is it painful. She feels so relieved that its open yet I still feel so much pain. Counselling is going well and I feel like an idiot that we have to go, but trying to get her to understand my pain is a challenge. In one instance I can tear another mans arms off yet I know I', so soft inside. I just suffer from the fear that I may be gone before I can forgive and forget. It is ok for me to live with regrets yet I wish none for others I lived my life and I made mistakes and I can live in peace knowing I made it an effort to correct those mistakes. Can you afford the coaching center? If you follow Dr. Harley's plan for recovery you will have a much better chance at recovering from your WW's affair then traditional marriage counseling. Will your WW write the NC letter? What are you doing to affair proof your marriage? Will she be open and honest about everything about the affair? I'm so sorry for your fight with cancer. I do hope the best for you, my friend. FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.

Re: So confused. BrainHurts #2627657 05/20/12 12:43 AM
Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 Moved to Uranus B BrainHurts Member
BrainHurts Member B Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 Moved to Uranus	Please listen to these radio clips of a BH finding out his WW was having an affair for the whole 10 years of their marriage and they are trying to make it work. Radio clip of a ten year affair Segment #2 Segment #3 FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.

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