Hi everyone! I haven't been here in quite awhile (probably close to three years). I'm not sure if the old standbys from when I was around are still here (Is Mark still here??). I had to create a new account because I can't remember my old password.

Anyways- I figured I'd give a quick, hopefully inspiring update for those in recovery.

Our story begins 6 years ago- my husband was traveling constantly for work and our marriage was suffering- big time. I began an affair with someone from work. This was fairly involved- I moved out of the house for ~6 months while "trying to decide what to do", etc. All the typical WW babble and crap- I was entirely lost to the affair alien.

I eventually entirely ended things with OM- and haven't had contact with him in over 5 years now. Hubby also had a retaliation affair while we were trying to work things out. I don't want to dwell on the negatives here- just trying to give you a picture of how broken we were. (Dwelling on the negatives is part of why I left here. Its too easy to become way to embroiled in the negatives being here all the time).

Our marriage was still VERY rocky for about 2 years after my A ended. There were several times (even here) that I said that I didn't think we'd make it. That I wanted to quit. That it was too hard, that we were too broken, and that we had no kids at the time, so I should cut and run while I could. Start over, better next time.

Well, I didn't. I stayed. I don't know why- things were bad. He treated me like a doormat for quite awhile (it took me quite awhile to figure out how to employ MB concepts and NOT be a doormat. I started slowly sticking up for myself, and made myself a better and stronger person. During this time- for those of you that remember me- hubby did quite a bit of drinking to deal with all of this- to the point that myself and others on this board thought perhaps he had a problem. I am happy to tell you that today that is no longer an issue at all.

Where the progress started in leaps and bounds is when we moved 2 years ago- out of state. It was like the shroud of the As were lifted from us and it was an opportunity to "start over". And that we did. The As hardly ever come up anymore- and when they do, its usually in the context of "look how far we've come" or "look how much we've learned".

We've been doing EXCELLENT for the past 2.5 years. I couldn't ask for a better hubby. I can't believe that we lost ourselves for so long, but I'm so thankful everyday that we made it, and that we're so happy together now. Hubby now has a job where he doesn't have to travel- ever. He's spent one night away from home for work since we moved. We both appreciate having the other person around. Recently I was offered a very lucrative position with another company- that would require 60% travel. It would more than double my current salary. I said NO! I know how much that killed us, and I don't want to do it again- its not worth it.

4 years ago, if you asked me- I'd probably have told you that hubby and I were headed for divorce- it was only a matter of time. But today- I can't even imagine that. We have so much fun together every day. And just today I got flowers- for no reason.

Anyways- I'm not sure if anyone even remembers me- and I'm trying to remember the names of those people that were active when I was here (3-4 years ago or so)- please stop by and say hi (especially Mark!).

I just wanted to stop by and say thank you to those that helped me back then- (especially Mark) and to encourage those in recovery that it IS possible- and I never in a million years thought we'd be where we are today if you would have asked me 4 years ago...

E.

Heelllooooo??? Anyone out there? I guess these boards are still slow in the evenings- ha. I've been stalking all the "old people" I remember- its great to see some people doing so well (Looking4, Queenie). I remember MyRev, LaLa (I think she changed her name at some point...)... there were a few others... I'm trying to remember the rest of the names...

Does anyone know if Mark is still here? Mark helped me quite a bit while I was here- I'd love to know how he's doing and to let him know how much he helped me along the way.

I also see the old standbys are still here- Pepperband, MelodyLane....

Its great to come back and see people doing well, but reading the "new" stories makes my heart hurt, and makes me appreciate how far we've come.

I'm willing to share more, help where I can... but I didn't want to write a novel of an update- just wanted to let everyone know that we're doing great- living a MB marriage- and loving life.

Well, I suppose I'll check back in tomorrow to see if anyone remembers me. Perhaps I stayed away too long

E.

LaLa is Resonance

She was on the boards today here Inside the wayward mind

Thanks, BrainHurts. That one surprised me a bit- I don't think I was around when the "fraudulent" part came out. I guess that one goes in the "not so happy ending" story category. Craziness.

How about Not2Fun- I see she was around in March of this year- anyone know how she's doing?

I think we should have MB "class" reunions!

PS- I see tst is still floating around too- and has a new DD! I love reading all the positive updates!

Eeyore, our site is geared for Marriage Building and help for couples in crisis, so not all of our threads are light-hearted or chat-oriented. You might want to check out our Other Topics thread for fun posts.

Posters come and go. Some stay and heal, some recover and help others, some leave and we never hear from them again. I guess it proves the theory that the only constant in life is change. I think if you read some of our threads now, you'll meet a whole new set of 'friends' who are great people and are a great help to our members. This site just keeps getting better and better.

What a great update.

Congrats...it's really surreal looking back on the whole experience, isn't it? In my case it's amazing how much we BOTH have changed for the better. Phoenix's from the ashes.

Mr. Wondering

Hi eeyoreee, nice to hear from you and welcome back. I remember you mostly as a true helper and supporter for Ivetz, who were here some 2 yrs ago with her own great update.

Maybe you'll stick around this time? Help is always needed.

Hi Mr. W- great to hear from you as well

Mrs. Recon6mo- I remember Ivetz! I am so glad to hear she's doing well. Maybe I'll see if I can dig up her thread as well and read about what happened with her. I'm so glad that so many people come back to check in periodically and give us updates- I'm so glad that so many people are doing well.

There was another BH that I remember posting to quite a bit- his FWW was here on and off- I can't remember his posting name. I've wondered over the years how they have been doing as well. (I'm sure that this vague description doesn't help at all in knowing who I'm talking about).

I was afraid when I came back to update that either no one from my "era" would be around anymore- (and therefore no one would remember me and updating would be useless)- or that thing would have gone sour in the "stories" I remembered from when I was here. I am so thrilled to know that its the opposite- it seems that most people I remember are doing really, really well- and that makes me so happy (and speaks to how well MB works!).

Maritalbliss- I posted here because this was the board I was most active on when I was around. And because I truthfully believe that once you go through this you are "In Recovery" for the rest of your life. I would say we are "recovered" if you ask me- but at the same time, saying you're "recovered" is like saying you're done working on it and done being vigilant about the M. And I am never going back there. So we're "recovered", but will be "in recovery" for the rest of our lives. And that's not a bad thing

E.

I wasn't around back then, Eeyore, but your story is very inspirational! It always helps to hear stories of success and hope.

I'm glad you shared.

Hi eeyoree + an e

It's great to see your update, such an inspiration!

SMB is sitting next to me reading your update too, she says hi too and is glad to hear the positive update as well.

We've actually added TWO daughters over the past year and a half. Both adopted from China. It's been a beautiful journey!

Hope you hang around, you've got a great back story that can only allow others to find comfort as they struggle through the dark days.