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BH I read through your links, OMG. Here is my best one so far...
I am not a cheater...I stopped having sex with you when when I committed to the other man.
I actually laughed when i heard that one...
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BH I read through your links, OMG. Here is my best one so far...
I am not a cheater...I stopped having sex with you when when I committed to the other man.
I actually laughed when i heard that one... I know, right. One of my personal favorites. "Why can't I have a wife and a girlfriend?" They all speak from the same wayward script. Stay here long enough and you'll unfortunately see the same stories with different names.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Youre going nicely, man.
Fill us in the details like kids, years married, and stuff.
The correlation between drug addicts and an adulterer's addiction to another is made by the Dr. Getting one off a addictive drug is hard work. Your wife has a monkey on her back and you are following the textbook in terms of cleaning her out.
Just take the shots to your ego and manhood in stride as you know its coming from one who is not sane at this time.
Life keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the fuuuu-ture.
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BH you have been great, laughing makes us all stronger. Per your advice I asked her to play tennis this weekend, we used to play all the time b4 kids and haven't played in 3 years! She's open to it and I'm going to try to find ways to spend more time with her! I also I filled out the EN worksheet weeks ago and I realized how awful we have been to each other. If I can just get her to try...
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Thx MSS,
What I didn't understand is that you have to takes the hits if you want your spouse back. It's tough and friends and family DO NOT understand. Married 13 years been together 18 years. I am 44 , W 40, kids 9 and 6.
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You will not be taking the shots forever. There will a point where it will stop because the technique here is used as best as possible and works. Or it doesnt so other steps are taken.
Are her parents helping out with the exposure?
Life keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the fuuuu-ture.
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I exposed a month ago to her family and the OMW (many friends as well). I'm confident by the way she is acting that there has been NC after the letter.
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BH you have been great, laughing makes us all stronger. Per your advice I asked her to play tennis this weekend, we used to play all the time b4 kids and haven't played in 3 years! She's open to it and I'm going to try to find ways to spend more time with her! I also I filled out the EN worksheet weeks ago and I realized how awful we have been to each other. If I can just get her to try... That's it. Make that UA time a priority and don't try but just do it. She will try when she falls back in love with you. Great on the tennis. What other things do you two love to do? That's why if you sit down and schedule it together she'll be involved with the activities. Hang tough. We have a saying around here " recovery is a marathon not a sprint" You're doing well, my friend.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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You are confirming NC between them, correct?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Great Idea! A lever just pulled in my head. I can get some UA time as I know she is open spending time together as "friends" by just asking her to meet and let know some activities she'd like to do together - and that it turn set up more UA time. I'm a little slow....
This worries me though, she says I'm a great guy and she loves to spend time with me as friends, does acting this way perpetuate here feelings that I'm just a friend?
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Don't worry about what she says about only loving you as a friend. That's still fogbabble.
Say " I want a loving, romantic M with my wife, the mother of my children". Now did you know the sky is blue? Do you want a cookie?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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she loves to spend time with me as friends, does acting this way perpetuate here feelings that I'm just a friend?
Baby steps, dude. Friends supply emotional needs. Lovers supply intimate emotional needs.
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Got it, this patience thing is hard but I get the fact that she didn't get to where she is overnight and that it's not going to get back to great overnight either. I know I want her back so I'm going to push for as much UA time as I can get, meet her emotional needs, and avoid LB's at all cost!!!
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Got it, this patience thing is hard but I get the fact that she didn't get to where she is overnight and that it's not going to get back to great overnight either. I know I want her back so I'm going to push for as much UA time as I can get, meet her emotional needs, and avoid LB's at all cost!!! Remember this is a marathon not a sprint.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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You are confirming NC between them, correct? Revisit that one, please. Do you have a keylogger on the computer ( www.eblaster.com is a good one) and spyware on her phone? If you don't, get that taken care of but don't tell your wife about it. Escalate the UA time, by all means, but don't forget to verify the NC. For what it's worth, your story has been played out numerous times here and they all say the same thing. My FWW, too.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Make absolutely sure theres no contact .My story was exactly like yours except things went straight downhill right after WW broke NC .
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Make absolutely sure theres no contact .My story was exactly like yours except things went straight downhill right after WW broke NC . Please listen to this about verifying NC. Read this Requirements for Recovery from an affair
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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SS1, How are things going?
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It's been a few days and nothing has really changed. I continue to try to meet her EN and she is still not ready to work on our marriage. She split with the OM 27 days ago and I do believe 100% that there has been no contact. I am also sure that if the OM's W new about any contact she would text me (she new about the affair when I contacted her). I will say this, on some days it is extremely hard to continue to give and get nothing back. Don't get me wrong, our UA time has increased and we both enjoy our time together she just can't show me any affection. I remind myself everyday to have patience but it's hard....
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It's been a few days and nothing has really changed. I continue to try to meet her EN and she is still not ready to work on our marriage. She split with the OM 27 days ago and I do believe 100% that there has been no contact. I am also sure that if the OM's W new about any contact she would text me (she new about the affair when I contacted her). I will say this, on some days it is extremely hard to continue to give and get nothing back. Don't get me wrong, our UA time has increased and we both enjoy our time together she just can't show me any affection. I remind myself everyday to have patience but it's hard.... Are you verifying NC?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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