Thanks,NG this,made me smile
I haven't done that in quite awhile.
I got myself into quite a jam
But I won't give up that not who I am.

Thanks for the encouragement. I have actually sent my H a number of your post for inspiration.

If I had one wish to be granted XVY, it would be that we BHs here could convey to Mr. XVY the wonderful possibilities that await him with a fully remorseful FWW.

Anyway, I'm glad my attempt at poetical(?) support was welcome.

15Y,

Are you and your wife still together ?

Yes we are, but I need the truth about OM2 and etc for our longer term survival.

For the time I've given up asking my W what happened and am tracking down OM2.

I hope that the guilt from not telling me will eventually build up to the point that my W spills. The little comments she makes every so often make me believe this will happen.

W did say that she didn't want to tell the sexual details, and that it was so long ago and of course her saying that has kept me in the game.

Did your H ever confront or retaliate against these OM?

God Bless
Gamma

Okay, XVY, it's Wednesday. What are your plans for winning your FB/WH's heart and soul today?

No, he never did. He did tell OM2 that if he ever tried to call or contact me again he would kick is azz. OM1 was a one night mistake and we never had to see his face again because I quit that job immediately and never turned back.

I just think about how stupid I was both times. I thought I learned my lesson after OM1 and truly stayed out of trouble for 13 years. I makes me so sick and ashamed that I fell back into that boat again. I see so clearly now the things that I must do to stay on the right path. I actually WANT to do them.

Before, I thought nothing of going to Happy hours with co workers that were males. We always had Christmas and End of year parties and sometimes my H would come but I was fine if he didn't. One co-worker would always text me stupid dirty jokes. This really bothered my H and at the time I was did not understand. SO NAIVE, AND STUPID!!!

My H does not seem to want to know any more details. Right after it happened he asked a lot of questions and the truth came out. He never wanted explicit details though.

It's really up to him as to what he wants to know. Some BSs want all the little details, and others just want to know if you did X or Y at all, no details. He seems to have reached his limit, so I wouldn't press more details on him--which it doesn't look like you're doing anyway.

Sorry the site was down for awhile and it has been a busy day. In addition, I think I am getting strep throat...perfect timing.


The pressure is on!!

Well, tonight is his golf night so we will not see each other until later in the evening. I am once again going to fix a yummy dinner (but I always do that). I am going to clean up the house (he loves a clean house).

I have been giving him love notes all week. I looked in his drawer where he keeps all of the letters and cards I give him and saw the poem I wrote yesterday. It made me very happy that he cares enough to keep it.

The theme for today was "I love you". I told him that I know it is hard for him to say and that my past actions have not shown how much I truly love him but I do and my future actions will prove this.

Each day I have put the letters in a different spot.

He is still acting cold and last night I woke up to a pillow between us. At first I was offended but thought about it and he often times puts a pillow in between his legs when he sleeps so I think I was being over sensitive.

He is starting to text me again to see what I am doing...this feels good.

The big plan is that I am not even going to bring up that he is leaving. If he wants to leave at the end of the week he can but I am not going to ask or bring it up.

I am going to continue the love notes and doing what I have been doing, being transparent, letting him know my every move, staying at home with my children, etc...

...being transparent...

On that topic, I hate to be...crass...but transparency is not a bad thing in evening casual wear. Coming home from golf outings, I have been known to appreciate the possibility of "playing around" after "playing a round".
I'm telling Mrs. NG!
Shut up! What are you, some kinda Boy Scout?

That sounds really nice but I was just diognosed with strep. I don't think giving my H strep is going to help my cause any

I don't think giving my H strep is going to help my cause any

On balance, you're probably right!
Get well soon, though!

15Y,

He did tell OM2 that if he ever tried to call or contact me again he would kick is azz.

That's a good sign, when I hears that a BH did nothing it's more like indifference.

OM1 was a one night mistake

Please don't ever use that minimizing language with your H, a mistake is not dotting an I on a test.

I just think about how stupid I was both times.

Again watch your language you are not stupid, you are a school teacher, to play dumb is insulting and minimizes your apologies.

I've noticed that with my Ws description of her affair with OM2 it has approached more and more her admission of her own fault. At first the tone was that it was my fault, then it was defensive, then it was about how handsome OM2 was, just a few weeks ago it was that things she did might have caused me to distrust her. Perhaps this is why I notice language so much.

My H does not seem to want to know any more details.

Not always a good sign as men tend to ruminate and explode years later.

God Bless
Gamma

Gamma,

I am sorry that it sounded like I was trying to minimize my first A. In no way was I trying to do that but after reading it did sound like I had no regard for it because it was only one night. Even though the SA took place only once there was an EA for several months. I think they are one in the same and the hurt, pain, emotions, and destruction is no different.

I really hate to use the word stupid. Maybe naive? Either way I had blinders on and made horrible choices that I am so very ashamed of.

You are right about the explosions. Again, my H is a very "keep it inside" type person. When we get into arguments however the pain that he has been keeping in comes out and it always involves the dirty little details.

NG,

On a positive note, my strep did not keep H away last night. He was very affectionate and there was a lot of "transparency" if you know what I mean. I hope he doesn't get sick but if he does it can be one more thing that I can do for him to show my love.

He was very affectionate and there was a lot of "transparency"...

Does she mean.....?
Let's hope so!

So, what's your plan for today and tomorrow?

I unfortunately will not be getting home until around 8 tonight. I am going to ask H if he wants to watch our show together and make sure that I cuddle on the couch with him.

He went on an interview last week so I am going to be sure to ask if he has heard anything.

I really want to ask him about my love letters. Although he has not said a word about them he has kept all of them. I will probably just let this go though and see if he says anything to me. Maybe subtly hint about them.

My greatest fear is that he says goodbye tomorrow or Saturday and that he is leaving. But I have mentally prepared for that and Indie had some wise words on a another post. She said if he decides to leave I have to respect that decision.

My H just text me and ask me If "I cared if he goes to watch the hockey game with his brother tonight". Why is this a big deal??? I will tell you, why. My H NEVER usually ask me if he can go do something with friends. He either tells me or just goes to do it.

This simple question filled my LB and although simple, really means a lot to me. I think I will tell him this.

Don't think about telling him, but TELL him.

Already did

15Y,

When we get into arguments however the pain that he has been keeping in comes out and it always involves the dirty little details.

Keep in mind that those "little" details are really important to men. Women seem not to notice, but to men they are huge.

After OM1 for example her orgasmic style changed, after OM2 she never again kissed me with passion, after OM3 she started orgasming during intercourse. My W has no recollection of any of this, or it is so unimportant to her that she never thinks about it, but it killed me.

I'm not encouraging you to lie about those details, quite the opposite, men need the absolute truth or their wild fantasies will drive them mad.

God Bless
Gamma

Gamma, I just read over this again and was thinking about my sexual situation with my H. I have also changed my sexual mannerisms but I have done it more for my H than any other reason. I used to be somewhat shy at times and would not relax in certain positions.

Since my A I have been much more relaxed and involved (trying to keep this G-rated) in the moment and my H. My change if heart was the fact that if I can give my body away to someone else I sure as heck better not be shy with the man who has loved my body for 15 years.

SR is my H's top EN and since I have come to realize that and cherish it I have changed and our sex has changed. I told my H this much and he seemed very pleased.

I guess what I am getting at is has your wife expressed why she has had these changes? Are you sure they dont have something to do with you?


NG,

Today my love note was constructed with songs from one of our favorite musical artist. I put the letter in the cd player of his car and an going to make a cd with all of the songs on it.