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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 1
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 1 |
Hi all - new here and really feeling lost. Trying to find my inner strength and a way through this - I will be so grateful for any advice you can give me.
My husband had been together six years, married for two, at the point of separation last year. I discovered he was certainly having an emotional affair with a work colleague, a physical affair was always denied. As soon as I exposed it it ended. But my husband decided we were over, he didn't love me any more. Nothing I said or did made any difference, and so I moved out in July last year.
Shortly after he started making contact with me. There was a lot of back and forth, one minute he wanted to be with me, the next he didn't. After Christmas, he properly committed to me, and we began working towards my moving back in. This happened last week. Within 2 days he had changed his mind, something was missing, and he effectively forced me back out. He says he loves me but he's not in love with me (that old chestnut!).
I feel ready to just walk away,, but I do love him and I didn't get married to just give up. Am trying to pick myself up but am struggling to formulate a plan.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6 |
Hi all - new here and really feeling lost. Trying to find my inner strength and a way through this - I will be so grateful for any advice you can give me.
My husband had been together six years, married for two, at the point of separation last year. I discovered he was certainly having an emotional affair with a work colleague, a physical affair was always denied. As soon as I exposed it it ended. But my husband decided we were over, he didn't love me any more. Nothing I said or did made any difference, and so I moved out in July last year.
Shortly after he started making contact with me. There was a lot of back and forth, one minute he wanted to be with me, the next he didn't. After Christmas, he properly committed to me, and we began working towards my moving back in. This happened last week. Within 2 days he had changed his mind, something was missing, and he effectively forced me back out. He says he loves me but he's not in love with me (that old chestnut!).
I feel ready to just walk away,, but I do love him and I didn't get married to just give up. Am trying to pick myself up but am struggling to formulate a plan. Welcome Tinker and sorry for the pain that has brought you here. So did you move back out? I would go back home and say "honey I'm home how about we make something to eat". You need to snoop. He has been cake eating and with you being home he couldn't continue his second life. Who is this OW? Do they still work together? Whom did you expose to? When can you get back home and start snooping? I would notify the MODS and have your thread moved to the SAA forum. Do you have the book SAA? I would get it. Read this to get yourself ready for all the questions and plans. Welcome to the Marriage Builders family. Thread to Help Newly Betrayed Spouses Also this why you're 007 Carrot and Stick of Plan A
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
Welcome. Sorry you find yourself here.
Does your WH still work with OW?
Is OW married?
Did you expose this to their workplace? Her family? Who did you expose it to? Did you ask for their help in ending the affair?
Click on the link in my siggy for Newly betrayed, and read through the links.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495 |
Welcome and sorry you are here. It sounds like contact was never really broken. Have you exposed the affair yet?
CV
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