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Joined: May 2012
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Please tell me I'm not crazy for not wanting to live like this.
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Joined: May 2012
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How do I add images. I read the FAQ but no luck.
Please help.
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
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We generally advise on words, not images. What is the problem?
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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Joined: May 2012
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I need to post a few pics of the mess I'm living with. She thinks it's normal. I would very much like validation that it's not and that I'm justified in my complaints.
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 27
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Does she have OCD? Hoarding is one manifestation. Therapy is CBT plus meds, and it's not by any means a short-term thing to resolve. Good luck to you guys, I am dealing with another form of OCD in our family and I can relate. By the way she can't just "stop"
Married With Children - 8 years, 10 together
Adult kids - one living with us
He has 6
She has 4
None of our own
DH 59
DW 48
Almost ready to retire!!! YAY!!!
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
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You need to do nothing of the sort. There are words for these sorts of things. What kind of mess? Hoarders type mess, Lohan type mess?
We can't post pictures in response to help you, so it would be great if you could verbalize your issue so we know that you can understand the response. Okay?
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
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Tired, the fact that you find it bothersome is justification enough to find solutions that work for you both. My H would have claimed I *made a mess* until he spoke with a professional (Steve Harley) and we could then find solutions. But I have no idea what mess you are speaking of. Wife grew a mustache? Mold on the walls? A few crumbs on the floor? Smashed up car?
"Mess" has many, many meanings.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,171
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Posts: 1,171 |
Welcome!
Like others said, please do let us know more specifics.
What kind of mess are you referring to?
How long have you been married?
Do you have any kids?
Was she "messy" before you got married?
Is her family "messy"?
Is she depressed?
Do you and/or she work outside the home?
And yes, you are justified in not wanting to live in a "mess" whatever type it is. Let us know more so we can give specific strategies.
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Joined: Apr 2012
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Can you explain the problem? Are you saying she is not meeting yur need for DS or is this a hoarding issue?
Unsure why you would feel just posting a pic will tell us all we need to advise?
Perhaps communication is an issue here? Just a thought.
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
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If I had to venture a guess, I would guess this poster wanted to post some sensational photo and scat. It was probably more of the Lohan variety...
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,077
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Hm...I'm not sure....did you hear Dr. Harley address this very question on the radio, 5.15? It was a husband who was fed up with his messy wife.
He said it is a tough problem to solve b/c wives are typically bothered by their husband's complaints about messiness. Haven't heard the rest, will listen again before work this morning.
"When you love someone, all your saved up wishes start coming out."
Elizabeth Bowen
(Changed my profile name, as it was appearing in Google searches. Yikes!)
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6 |
Here's the radio clip on messes. Radio clip on messes
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,077
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"When you love someone, all your saved up wishes start coming out."
Elizabeth Bowen
(Changed my profile name, as it was appearing in Google searches. Yikes!)
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