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#2625674 05/14/12 05:05 PM
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I think the title pretty much sums it up.

Guess who got a Mother's Day card from someone who isn't her kid?

Guess who sent the card?

If you guessed me/OW aka kooze aka VD et al, you win a great big boatload of triggers. Send me your name and addy and I'll FedEx 'em to you, cos I'm pretty worn out from them.

Mother's Day is ONE day you can count on VD to pick up the kids....because, honestly, she thinks she's OWED that day. It's about her, and it's about what she's due. Christmas, the kids' birthdays, Easter, Thankgiving...they're a crapshoot, but Mother's Day and her birthday, she's over here come hell or highwater - usually with comments that I can hear from the other room (I never answer the door) like, "AREN'T YOU GOING TO SAY HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY" said to the kids so the whole neighborhood can hear.

She picked them up Saturday evening and ran OCDD back in with a card for me. Because I keep my feelings about VD in check around the kids (because honestly, they can't help which chute they slid down and would take it personally if I did voice anything, and God forbid that there is anymore hurt doled out in this situation if I can help it), I told DD thank you and placed the card aside. Thank goodness I was making dinner and could use an excuse not to open the damn thing immediately - poor kid looked at me expectantly and I had to tell her my hands were wet from chopping veggies.

Darned if DD15 didn't rip that sucker open and read it right after the kids left...she even tried to make me feel better by making vomiting sounds as she read....love that girl. DH read it, then handed it to me. I just couldn't do it. I tossed the thing (if you're reading this Mel, and felt a weakness in the Force, it's because I was channeling you and Pep - could hear you both cheering me on as I opend the dust bin). B tells me that it basically said thank you for taking care of my kids even though you didn't have to. (emphasis on my, really?, yes, really according to B )

Pft.

What does she know from what I HAD to do? I did what would cause the LEAST harm for everyone involved in this messed up situation.

B says in front of DH, "She only gave that to you to show Daddy that she's still there."

My daughter is brilliant AND beautiful.

My husband agrees about the brilliant and beautiful daughter AND that VD is a selfish kooze that has to get her digs in where she can in order to call attention to herself. When DS22 heard about it, he said, "What does she not get about STAY AWAY?" Love that kid, too....I raise up the best children.

See, the way I look at it is that if you terrorize someone, threaten their family and EVERY DARN THING THEY HOLD DEAR, then repent and are sorry about it later, the very best and noble thing you can do in that situation is to STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THEM FOREVER. That's how you TRULY get across that you apologize.

I'll probably get some comment either here or at another place for people with OCs about not being forgiving or something, but this is exactly why the Harleys teach NC, NC, NC! Nearly 10 years now and I still deal with PTSD and trigger when something like this happens. The nightmares are back again. I am zombie mom today and probably will be for a week or two (and not in any kind of FUN zombie way).

Lets see if I can stay awake long enough to get the not-so-Littles-anymore in bed before I crater. Woot!


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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Too bad her brain is not as large as her chute.

(waiting for mod edit, but I just don't care)

You did good, child.

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OMGOSH!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are BETTER than a Buster Bar eaten while sitting on slut red luggage waiting for a plane to someplace exotic!

Last edited by Dealan-de; 05/14/12 05:13 PM.

I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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No response is the best response to narcissicists.

Anyone know how to make a voodoo doll?


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by Pepperband
Too bad her brain is not as large as her chute.

(waiting for mod edit, but I just don't care)

You did good, child.
[q

Originally Posted by Dealan-de
You are BETTER than a Buster Bar eaten while sitting on slut red luggage waiting for a plane to someplace exotic!

Torn as to which one wins best quote ever.

On the one hand DDs is pure poetry, conjuring up colour and adventure and filled with we-love-pep zest.

But Pep's quote is a slur on the 'chute' of an OW.

So I can't decide, 'fraid.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Half my best lines I've ever read have come from Pep, so I defer to her.

(I have to admit, I stole a few of 'em too)


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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Wow, just WOW.

hug


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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You, my dear Dealan-de, are a true champion.

The only thing I would add is that when VD uses the innocents to break through again, as she surely will, Wookie needs to not read whatever she sends.

Even though he probably has one of the best and clearest views of the real character of the FOW of anyone that I know, his brain just doesn't need to go there. Not even for a moment. It's not a healthy place, even if all he feels is revulsion.

And you can ALWAYS be chopping vegetables with wet hands when the littles are picked up. grin

(Technically, I suppose you'd be using a knife to do the actual chopping. Sorry, English nerd humor.)


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Neak #2625966 05/15/12 05:05 PM
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Pep didn't get edited. I think the Mods might secretly agree with her. ;0)

IG - read your entire thread last night. You are one of the bravest people on here. You are Boudica on steroids and you ROCK!

I love you Scotty, and you are on my list of people I want to visit/meet someday.

You're right Neak (feel free to frame that sentence, in case you ever need to whip it out and show the Dervish). The Wookie and Ewoks should be protected from the chaos that VD likes to stir. We'd gotten complacent. Its now gone from every week pot stirring, to every other month, to every six months or so...so, we were due.

Still bummed. Can't sleep well or for long enough to get rest. BobP always said this is a tough gig. No lie.

PTSD is a booger.

Got a call from one of my best girlfriends today. Have known her since 7th grade...back when we rode stegosaurs to school.

She tells me I still sound like her sweet Kimmy, then asks if I'm still sweet.

Um.

No.

Jaded and careful, with a pinch of harried and exhausted would be my diagnosis.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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PTSD is a booger, for sure.







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Quote
I love you Scotty, and you are on my list of people I want to visit/meet someday.

Thank you. I would LOVE to meet you. You're one of the names I remember from my dark times, as a light that helped guide me. I am forever grateful to all of you. And I get ANGRY for you, because you should be hurt free.

hug


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Originally Posted by Dealan-de
IG - read your entire thread last night. You are one of the bravest people on here. You are Boudica on steroids and you ROCK!

This actually got me teary - from a legend like DD!!! I must admit I DO like Boudica!


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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You are Boudica on steroids and you ROCK!

A Boudica reference! WOW!

Now if someone would just channel Granuaille I will know that the ladies at MB are a highly superior segment of the population at large!

And pay no heed to OW - she demonstrates her absence of criticality with every one of these performances.

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Buh...I'm rather fond of my hair. smile I do love the ocean, though.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
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DD - you always protect those little ones from their vicious egg-donor borg unit. And you do it with grace and dignity. They know who loves them. She's quite the piece of work. A hack job to be sure.

There is a special place in Heaven for you, as you continue to teach and love those little ones!


Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1

The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"?

The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!"

If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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Big hugs Kimbers

With all the crap that ow produces someone could make a fortune following her with a shovel and a trailer

Many hugs from us

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Originally Posted by Dealan-de
I'll probably get some comment either here or at another place for people with OCs about not being forgiving or something, but this is exactly why the Harleys teach NC, NC, NC! Nearly 10 years now and I still deal with PTSD and trigger when something like this happens.

I hope nobody here is foolish enough to post anything other than support..... You are an amazing mama!

As for the blue board, they don't deserve you.... but your experience has helped many there as well. smile





Recovery began 10/07;

Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Kimmy!!! laugh

Hugs to you lady.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Dealan-de,

You have always amazed me. You are one of the Super Heroes for sure!



Happily married to HerPapaBear



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Originally Posted by sexymamabear
Dealan-de,

You have always amazed me. You are one of the Super Heroes for sure!
'da bestest !
[Linked Image from millan.net]


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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