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Tried them in the past. If I'm honest they made me feel worse. The wife has been on them for 3 years along with sleeping tablets and pain killers. Not doing her much good.


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Originally Posted by DaddyCool
Tried them in the past. If I'm honest they made me feel worse. The wife has been on them for 3 years along with sleeping tablets and pain killers. Not doing her much good.
Dr. Harley recommends them temporarily during these trying times.

Not all of them work for everyone. That's why you must try different ones and tell your doctor they aren't working and stay with it.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Here
Originally Posted by Dr. Harley
Since plan B (and plan A, for that matter), is extremely stressful for the betrayed spouse, I usually recommend that he or she ask a physician to prescribe anti-depressant medication to be taken throughout the crisis. This not only greatly reduces the suffering of the betrayed spouse, but it also helps keep a clear head at a time when patience and wise decisions are crucial. Anti-depressant medication does not numb the betrayed spouse to the crisis, it actually helps raise him or her above emotional reactions that would otherwise prevent clear-headed thinking. Why suffer and and make poor choices when anti-depressant medication can help ease your pain and improve your concentration in this time of unprecedented crisis?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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The cam in the bedroom may be illegal in some states do to laws that are designed to protect against voyeurs. Also runs the risk that your motives can be easily misconstrued. A VAR would be safer for you in that location.



Me 58: FWH (NC 32 yr), W 60, married 36 yr, DD 32
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Hi everyone.

After a bit of snooping I found out my wife is bi-sexual and has been using swingers websites to meet like minded people/couples.

I'm devestated and don't know what to do.

My heart says stay and work at my marriage my head is telling me to get out of here. I'm in pieces.

I have 3 kids who are my world. I love my wife but don't know if I can cope with the feeling of deceit etc. I'm in turmoil help!

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Originally Posted by DaddyCool
Hi everyone.

After a bit of snooping I found out my wife is bi-sexual and has been using swingers websites to meet like minded people/couples.

I'm devestated and don't know what to do.

My heart says stay and work at my marriage my head is telling me to get out of here. I'm in pieces.

I have 3 kids who are my world. I love my wife but don't know if I can cope with the feeling of deceit etc. I'm in turmoil help!

I'm so sorry for your pain.

Do you know any of these people that she has hooked up with?
How did you find out?
Have you confronted her yet?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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No ides who they are.

I found out last night when I managed to get hold of her Ipad. I saw naked photos of her on her profile on a swingers site.

I did confront her and she told me she hasn't met anyone the usual things you would expect.

She wants me to stay in the marriage but does not want any physical relationship with me.

I'm devestated. I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I can't stop crying I feel like my life is over.

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Originally Posted by DaddyCool
No ides who they are.

I found out last night when I managed to get hold of her Ipad. I saw naked photos of her on her profile on a swingers site.

I did confront her and she told me she hasn't met anyone the usual things you would expect.

She wants me to stay in the marriage but does not want any physical relationship with me.

I'm devestated. I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I can't stop crying I feel like my life is over.

Your world has been turned upside down understandably so.

So she wants to stay married and have you finance her while she goes out and sleeps with other people?


Does she work? Do you pay all the bills?

Did you take that ipad and break it?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Also listen to these radio clips of a man dealing with his WW swinging.

Radio Clip on Swinging
Segment #2

I would also notify the MODS to move your thread to the SAA forum.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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She does work teacher believe it or not. We pay half the bills etc No unfortunately I didnt break the IPad.

Yes she wants her private life which I'm not a part of.

How do I move the thread? And why??

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Radio clip doesn't work.

I'm struggling to speak.......... can things get any worse

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Originally Posted by DaddyCool
She does work teacher believe it or not. We pay half the bills etc No unfortunately I didnt break the IPad.

Yes she wants her private life which I'm not a part of.

How do I move the thread? And why??

Just hit notify and ask the MODS to move it to the Surving An Affair forum.

You will get more responses and she is having an affair on you.

Dr. Harley told the caller who's wife was into swinging to Plan B her and separate.

Can you do this? What Are Plan A and Plan B


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by DaddyCool
Radio clip doesn't work.

I'm struggling to speak.......... can things get any worse

You're under tremendous stress. Can you get into your doctor ASAP and get some AD's and a STD test?

How many children do you have?

Can you get copies of her profile for proof?

A teacher? Of young kids?

I'm so sorry my friend, for your extreme pain.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Yes a teacher of primary children under 11 years old.

We have 3 children 10 8 & 3.

I have photographed the profile which she said she had deleted. It's one lie after another.

Don't want AD's.

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Originally Posted by DaddyCool
Yes a teacher of primary children under 11 years old.

We have 3 children 10 8 & 3.

I have photographed the profile which she said she had deleted. It's one lie after another.

Don't want AD's.
Can you see a lawyer to protect you and the children?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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I can seperate and leave but I will have nothing. I will be living out of a holdall. Renting a room in a house.

I deserve more than this. I don't see a way forward I wish I could flick a switch and change everything. I'm sat with my 3 year old now and everytime I look at him I cry...

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Originally Posted by DaddyCool
I can seperate and leave but I will have nothing. I will be living out of a holdall. Renting a room in a house.

I deserve more than this. I don't see a way forward I wish I could flick a switch and change everything. I'm sat with my 3 year old now and everytime I look at him I cry...
Do not move out. If she doesn't want to act like a married woman then she can move out.

Can you legally put her out? You need to be strong for those kids.

If you expose her dirty laundry the light will shine on her. Her principal should know.
Can you do this? Exposure 101

Do not threaten her with the exposure you just read that thread and drop it like a bomb.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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I don't know exposing it is a good idea. I feel embarassed enough without telling everybody my wife is having sex with men and women.

I don't want to move out but for the sake of my health I think I might have to.

I think a clean break and leave her to it. If thats the life she wants then what can I do?

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Originally Posted by DaddyCool
I don't know exposing it is a good idea. I feel embarassed enough without telling everybody my wife is having sex with men and women.

I don't want to move out but for the sake of my health I think I might have to.

I think a clean break and leave her to it. If thats the life she wants then what can I do?

I wouldn't make any huge moves while you're under this stress.

I would definitely call a lawyer.

Document all of this. Document Document Document

Did you read the exposure thread? It has what Dr. Harley believes on telling everyone. Please read it.

Also do not leave your home. Read this. Men do not leave your home


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Exposure will ruin her fantasy. It's important and needs to be done. It's the first step.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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