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Are you going to snoop to find out? Can you check his phone? I wouldn't know how to check his phone as he has a different one to me and I don't know how to use it.
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Are you going to snoop to find out? Can you check his phone? I wouldn't know how to check his phone as he has a different one to me and I don't know how to use it. Can you check the online record? If there is an OW you will see it. Can you put a keylogger on the computer?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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The reason why I think these feelings developed into monumentous proportions - firstly I was very different to his wife- she was very cold emotionally and physically. Me on the other hand is very loving, kind and caring towards others. We came from very different social circles and ordinarily would not of met had we not been neighbours. I have a glamourous job (not seedy I'd like to add!!!) of which I think he associated that and me with a kind of fantasy figure. He was like a school boy ith an immense crush. Because I was kind and caring towards him (as a friend being caring I mean), I think he misread these traits and I have presumed that he thought that I had these feelings towards him too. He always said he had never met anyone so kind, thoughtful and compassionate towards others.
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I wouldn't know how to do this and even if I could learn, he is so intelligent with computers that maybe he could find out???? Just out of interest, on my very first posts, you immediately said that yes I had an EA and obviously he has never recovered from this and I need to make it up to him in order for my marriage to work. Why do you now think that he is having an affair or there is the possibility of this? I presume you know a lot about EA- surely this is just normal behaviour traits of someone who is immensely hurt?
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The reason why I think these feelings developed into monumentous proportions - firstly I was very different to his wife- she was very cold emotionally and physically. Me on the other hand is very loving, kind and caring towards others. 
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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Sorry - new to this - what does that symbol mean?
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Sorry - new to this - what does that symbol mean? Means she's skeptical. As am I.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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I wouldn't know how to do this and even if I could learn, he is so intelligent with computers that maybe he could find out???? Just out of interest, on my very first posts, you immediately said that yes I had an EA and obviously he has never recovered from this and I need to make it up to him in order for my marriage to work. Why do you now think that he is having an affair or there is the possibility of this? I presume you know a lot about EA- surely this is just normal behaviour traits of someone who is immensely hurt? Oh you definitely had an EA and your marriage hasn't recovered. He is acting with all the signs of leaving and such that he's probably in an affair also. You definitely need to clean up your side of the street and also need to snoop.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 30
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Ok that's fair enough but I am telling the truth. Of course I'm surmising to a point as I don't know what was in the OM head or what issues he has/had as to why he behaved that way. I just know my part in all of this.
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Ok that's fair enough but I am telling the truth. Of course I'm surmising to a point as I don't know what was in the OM head or what issues he has/had as to why he behaved that way. I just know my part in all of this. Yes you can only control your actions. If you keep coming up with excuses as to why you had the EA instead of changing your actions as to what allowed you to have the affair in the first place, then you will repeat your behavior. Poor boundaries around men. Talking to men about your personal life. These are all poor boundaries on your side of the street. Have you read this? Are Friends a Threat your marriage?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I understand what you are saying- thanks for the advice.
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I understand what you are saying- thanks for the advice. Please also listen to this radio clip of the Harleys at the 7:15 min mark of how dangerous it is to be talking about personal stuff with a person of the opposite sex and how it developed into an EA. Tell me what you think. Radio clip of the dangers of opposite sex friendships at 7:15 min mark
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Also what are you going to do to snoop? If he isn't having an affair then you'll know what the problem is, correct? If you can't put a keylogger on or monitor his phone can you hire a PI? This will help. Private Investigators
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Good luck Daisywheel.....it will be a journey but one worth taking.
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