First off I have some issues of my own but overall am an understanding, fairly patient and emotionally stable guy. I have a tendency to become withdrawn and quiet when i am upset. I think i do this to avoid hurting others feelings but i also think it's a weakness and defense mechanism i use to avoid confrontation and conflict.. That said...

My wife has a tendency to try and control many aspects of my step kids lives and now it seems, mine..I don't even think she knows shes doing it to me and when confronted she denies it and becomes offended and hurt. She does not appreciate my input on child matters and has even said my opinion there does not much matter ( that was during an argument ). When i attempt to discuss feelings with her she tells me I am being overly sensitive which really causes me to not want to share much. She is inconsistent with what is acceptable.. One day something i do is perfectly ok, a couple weeks later the same behavior is totally unacceptable. Accuses me of being detached and then at other times says i'm needy! When i am attentive she says things like " what came over you, is your girlfriend out of town " ( i have no GF and am a very loyal husband/father )and " its about time you paid attention to your wife".. So, even then i catch grief! There are some things that she does on a regular basis that are acceptable in her mind but if i were to do the same would be chastised for.

There is more but this kind of outlines it..

I love my wife dearly and have no intention of anything other than trying to work this glitch out but am at a loss to do so. trying to discuss the issue seems to make things worse.

I am very active in my step daughters lives. Earn a very good living, religious ( Christian ) and attend church regularly. I cook, clean and participate regularly in household duties. In short, I am not lazy.

I just get resentful and frustrated when she tries to control certain aspects of my life. Hobbies, friends etc.. She takes issue with my playing golf and also takes jabs at friends she doesn't care for. She does this with the kids and now i think she's trying to do the same to me. If she gets irritated with any of us she will ignore us completely for days at a time. Then tell me it;s my fault and that i'm not attentive enough. Also, i am very much a homebody and do not golf but once or twice a week and do not go out at night. We have dinner ( i cook nearly every night ) together as a family every day.

I need to stop this before it goes too far as my unwillingness to open up and talk about it is growing. So is my resentment.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html

I think that will help you. Read it and come back with questions.

Sounds like some Love Busters have crept into your marriage. You might also benefit from reading this:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html

Especially this part: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3406_independent.html

Please come back with questions.

Davis, can you update us on what you read, and your thoughts on it? We'd love to hear how you're doing.

People who ask for advice on how to continue to IB in a marriage rarely come back. It's the type of person who asks, "How can I get my spouse to stop talking to me and leave me alone?" MB cannot help them achieve that. He is probably on a testosterone site right now, destroying his family.

There are various things which should be considered when dealing with an emotionally controlling wife. You should always say truth to your wife. It is also important for you to be careful with your relationship. Thanks!