No we can't move right now I am sorry to say

What about in the future? Can you rent your house out and move? That is a very dangerous situation with him living so close.

We maybe can in the future, right now I am reluctant because I don't know a this point how long I wait for her to come around or I'd she even will. Right now her attitude is bad and she is acting like the victim in all this. She tells me I have no idea what she is going thru. I may not know what she is going thru but I don't think she knows the hell I am going thru right now. I don't know if anyone here has seen anything like this before? Why would she be the cold and acting like a spoiled little kid that just got her curfew moved up an hour. I know this didn't all take a day to happen and it's not going to be fixed in a day either. Just hard to have any hope when she is acting this way towards me.

Please listen to this radio clip of Dr. Harley advising them to move away from her WH's OW.

Radio Clip on moving after an affair

I hate to tell you this, but I am certain she is still seeing the OM.

No doubt. n76, have you confronted this POS that used to call you friend? And if not, why not?

Here's an excellent radio clip that Dr. Harley encourages BH to confront OM.
"I encourage BH's to confront OM"

I did confront him when it first came to out. That was not easy, it took all I had to not punch him in his lying POS mouth. I have a tracker on the vehicle and so far it checks out (past 3 weeks). But it still will not let my guard down not after all this BS that those two selfish idiots have put our filies thru. The best part I forgot to mention is that my wife was "friends" with his wife. We hung out as couples normally do. I just still can't believe that they were capable of this for the past year. I also did not mention earlier that when this all did hit the fan I kicked her out of the house and took away the bank accounts. After she had been gone a month she tells me she wants to come home for our family and our marriage. Like an idiot I helped her move back from her rental (where I am sure the affair continued) once she's allowed in she tells me she's back for the kids. It seems like mixed messages every day of the week. Last night I thru a financial settlement in front of her and we agreed to be done because I was sick of all the games. Yet this morning before I canceled our marriage counceling she tells me she wants to go to counceling so we go. I don't know if she is trying make me go crazy or if she is confused. I think her only motivation right now is the kids, not me and our marriage. I don't know if she will snap out of it in time, but I can't live in limbo forever.

That GPS will not pick up phone and text and email contact. And it would be real easy to circumvent a GPS by having the OM pick her up. I am telling you, she is still in contact. You just need to dig it out. It is there.

Hi Ng, Welcome to MB you have received great advice so far and are in good hands. Both ML & BH have been a great source of advice and support for me.

Unfortunately as you read other threads you will discover all waywards behave the same and many stories are similar, only the characters change. There are 2 threads which may help you understand (if thats possible)the foggy wayward behaviour:

"Never take the word of a wayward" and "Anger and affairs"

WS all re write history, demonise and accuse the BS of all sorts of "crimes". A helpful piece of advice quoted from Scotty (the Plan B Queen):

"Now, you don't engage a wayward because you can't educate a wayward, everything they think is always right. And when you argue with them, you run the risk of LBing, sure, but they also LB you, and your LB$ takes a ding. Also, when you engage a wayward, you give them ammo for their entitlement. They already think that you are the enemy, and by engaging, you put yourself firmly in that position. Also, affairs thrive on DRAMA, and you feed the big bad hairy affair monster by giving it more drama. That's it in a nutshell."

I hope this helps, hang in there and stay stong.

Thanks for the good advice, I will start digging. I think at this point it's on the phone but will look into all aspects.

Why don't you contact the MB coaching centre here at MB? They will do you much more good than your counsellor. Even if you just contact them to begin with...

Snooped around on her phone last night. She must have texted the OM. I don't know what she sent, she deleted it but his reponse kind of let me know what she said to him. alot of "why are you going back to him" and "I think you are using God as an excuse to go back" another comment was "you said you want to be with me before but your actions sure are not showing it now" sounds like he is a little angry to say the least. I hope he now knows what it feels like to be rejected by her. Don't worry I am not letting my guard down on my WW, trust is a very long ways off.

MelodyLane,
you were right, they were still in contact thru texting, I am going to see if she tells me about this or do you think I should tell her I read it and see what she says?

Who is this OM? Is he married?

You need to expose. Do not confront just expose.

OM was my former "freind" he is in the middle of a nasty divorce.

Everyone knows, and I mean everyone. His wife blew the top off it, called his whole family and told them what he told her. I think everyone in the tri-county area knows at this point.

Did she write a NC letter to him? What was your condition if she broke NC?

She has'nt written a NC letter, she just found out about 10 minutes ago that I checked her phone. She told me to be happy he is letting her go and is unhappy with her. I am sure I made her upset but like I just told her, "you would be checking my phone if you were in my shoes". I told her that I am sorry for checking the phone, I am sure your mad but the future of our family is riding on this and we can not go forward with secrets, lies or half truths. I am sick of all this BS and about ready to say here ya go, heres the divorce you want have a nice life. And by the way don't ask to come over and see the kids when it is my week with them, you already have taken enough away from me.

Do not tell her you're sorry for checking her phone. Tell her you will do whatever it takes to fight for your marriage but that you will not have 3 in your marriage.

Tell her you wouldn't have to check her phone if she wasn't cheating.

You don't Your feelings are all over right now so don't threaten D unless you're ready for a D.

You don't talk D you talk M.

Also do you have the book SAA?

It's still worth doing your own targeted exposure with the goal of getting people to help you hold your W accountable for her actions. OMW sounds like she did her exposure as a knee jerk reaction in anger. While that is better than nothing, a calm, targeted exposure will definitely help.

Your W still sees the A as a positive. She won't come around while she has this attitude.