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#2629161 05/24/12 12:59 AM
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I recently attended a funeral of a fellow I worked with for 25 years. I am getting to that stage where we used to meet a weddings now we meed at funerals.

At the reception I was surprised to hear how many relationships had split up or were in trouble. It seems in the 50 - 65 age bracket that so many women are leaving the relationships they were in. What has shifted in our society.

What happened that promises and vows no longer mean anything?

Is it my imagination that it is more often the women who are calling it quits now?

I was brought up in an era when "til death do us part" meant something. I have learned in the last 3 years that seems to be an outdated concept. Sad commentary on a nation that is touted to be a world leader.

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Dr. Harley found that more women than men initiate divorce. They are less willing to live with the marital neglect than in the past. Women often have careers, which give them choices.

Yes, the vows to care are for a lifetime, but they are for both partners in the marriage. When one ceases to care for the other, then the old paradigm of staying "no matter what" isn't so closely adhered to anymore.

If my marriage had not drastically changed for the better, I'd probably be one of those women. It's often better to be alone than to be with a poor marriage partner who is making life miserable.


Married 1980
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I also think social medias have increased the "make yourself happy at all costs". With the Internet it's so much easier for people to "talk" to their ex/soulmates.

They had the creator of the Ashley Madison website on Dr. Drew last night.

It made me sick the way they rationalize an affair. puke


FWW/BW (me)
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Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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It's not just the make yourself happy thing, thougth I think that's a big contributor. I a woman IRL who would leave her disrepsectful and neglectful husband asap if she could afford to do so. But she can't. She fears they have no marketable skills to make a decent life for her and her kids, and her solution is to just put up with poor treatment.

I think the realization that, nowadays, women don't have to put up with poor treatment just to be provided for anymore. And you'd be surprised how many times I've heard older women say in passing that the only reason they stayed with their husband is because of money and the social stigma of divorce. Both of those barriers are now removed.


"If you will stop feeding your feelings, then they will stop controlling you" -Joyce Meyer
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Actually, they don't just leave disrespectful and neglectful husbands. They leave the ones that love them too.

Now they may not know the right things to do. But that doesn't mean their husbands don't love them, don't respect them or neglect them.

I don't think anyone, man or woman marries with the idea they are just going to ignore their spouse.

They may get discouraged because they are doing the wrong things. But then there are only so many times a husband can ask his wife what do you want me to do, only to hear, "If you loved me, you would know what to do."

Ask most guys and they'll tell you they are showing love by being there with her, by having a good career, or taking care of things around the home.

Now if those are not her top emotional needs, he won't rack up many deposits.

But it's not because he's not working at it, or that he doesn't love or respect her.

Have any of these women asked their husbands what they are doing to show their love?

They are probably so close to the solution, but instead of actually respectfully communicating, they make the ultimate DJ and assume his motives, assume they know better than he does about how he loves her, and she ends the marriage. She ends the marriage to a husband who loves her, and she didn't even recognize the love he showed her.

Originally Posted By: DaisyTheCat2
It's not just the make yourself happy thing, thougth I think that's a big contributor. I a woman IRL who would leave her disrepsectful and neglectful husband asap if she could afford to do so. But she can't. She fears they have no marketable skills to make a decent life for her and her kids, and her solution is to just put up with poor treatment.

I think the realization that, nowadays, women don't have to put up with poor treatment just to be provided for anymore. And you'd be surprised how many times I've heard older women say in passing that the only reason they stayed with their husband is because of money and the social stigma of divorce. Both of those barriers are now removed.


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