I'm 55 she's 44 been married 23 yrs. Have two kids ages 20 & 22 The affair started last summer with a guy she met at gym. He's 10 years younger than her. I discovered the affair late September, she said just friends, I said too friendly. I started figuring things out and trying to make our marriage better, she left mid November and lived with her sister here in town. The affair was on and off as she kept trying to figure things out untill christmas, then came home and caught her texting OM on New Years eve. She left again, a week later I told her I was going to get attorney and divorce her, she came to me and I told her come back home and we'll work it out, so she did, the affair continued 2 more weeks via internet, texting whatever. then she confessed it. We drafted a letter to OM to end it, changed her phone# and all the other precautionary stuff,started working on each others needs, then late march new contact was made via internet then phone, called her on it April 7th, she got drunk, wrecked her car was trying to take her life I think, she 's ok just bumped up some, she's lucky. The problem is she can't seem to find her loving feelings for me after all this, we get along in every other way, and she recently moveed to her moms place 3 hours away and is trying on her own to gather her feelings and figure out what she wants, it's been a week now and I feel terrible just like when she was gone this winter and still having the affair. I've read his needs her needs, surviving an affair, and fall in love stay in love, she has read them also and we worked from those guide lines. I love her like crazy and want it to work out, just not sure what to do next, she says she still wants to be with me once she figures out in her head how to be in love with me. Any advice?

jwcjr. I am sorry for the reason that you are here. You have found a safe place here.

Who have you exposed WW affair to?

As long as the OM is still in the picture, WW will not be able to really love you as she should because she is allowing OM to meet her intimate ENs.

I repeat the question. What sort of exposure have you done?
Be specific.
Kids? Family? Friends?

Jwcjr,

Does she still go to the same gym?

Is the OM married?

Have you told your children?

God Bless
Gamma

OM is 34? There's no way he's going to stick around. I bet you can scare this turd off by: 1. Calling his parents. 2. Confronting him.

Does he really want to risk his neck for a 44-year-old with two kids and an angry husband???

Prepare for nuclear exposure.

Sorry you're here. Welcome to MB.

I've exposed it to all our friends & family and my employees, I talked to her mom today where she's staying and she claims that my wife is not having any contact and she would not put up with it.

No we switched gyms and he is married but left his wife after the affair was exposed, now he supposedly has a girlfriend and lives in another town 30 miles from here

I'll admit I didn't properly handle exposure in the beginning and as time went on I eventually did but by not handling it promptly it caused the affair to go on way too long. That is assuming it's over now

Where is this info coming from? If from your wife, you can bet it's a lie to try and keep you from attacking his side where you can do the REAL damage.

Welcome to Marriage Builders, jwc.

Do you know OM's name? Track down his wife and expose this to her.

You can't educate a wayward, but if she's read these she may have read enough to cause conflict in her head.

Have you exposed this affair to her parents? Have you confirmed that she is actually with them and not with OM?

Have you personally spoken to his wife?

Have you told your kids? Did you expose to OM's XBW and GF?

Have you confronted OM?

Read and listen to this. "I Encourage BH to confront OM" Dr. Harley