So I'm back on board with the pedicures, peeps.

My stunted toenail is still a little short and misshapen, but I painted them all aqua (to match the beach room) and it looks good!

The weather is glorious at the moment, and this being Britain will prob only last another day or so before the clouds roll back in.

So I've been making the most of it. On Friday I dressed for Summer at work (while its here) and went out with the gang afterwards. Stayed in a friends house and we got up nice and early for a ramble and then had lunch by the river at this really cool pub.

I needed the treat because I had met with my boss on Friday about her request. She made it clear that I had to check in with her before I go. I made it clear that my own time is my own. So that's our impasse spelled out. But we were very civil. Through gritted teeth.

I think God is trying to make it difficult for me to be lazy about moving on. So much has gone wrong with my job. They took away our parking privileges, so parking is an added expense and a fair walk now. Then they cut our overtime pay - but made it so we were in the office for longer. Then the bosses just chipped away at the joy of the job, taking away the real stories and just churning out junk for us to rewrite.

I sometimes think I am being sent a very strong message to GET OUT but does God work that way? Theology is not my strong suit. I'm going to job hunt like crazy, during this week off anyway..

Today was quite simply perfect. My family and my little people having a barbecue at my parents house. Most English barbecues involve umbrellas at some point, or at least wooly wraps towards evening but it was like being in Greece or Italy. We laughed like we did when we were little kids.

It was my nephews second birthday. He had the time of his life. He took my simple present of a puzzle and some crayolas and he went nuts over it.

He also eats everything he can get his hands on. Its a pleasure to watch him savour stuff. The child even likes black pudding (blood mixed with fat and milk) and was eating it cold! I didn't like it till I was at least ten.

My BiL was in charge at the coals and is an amazing cook: I ate way too much ribs, chicken and burgers and tuna steak. And birthday cake. Then I was offered strawberries and cream (with a vanilla pod scraped out into the cream) and I couldn't resist.

But Ill work it off in the garden tomorrow so it's all good.

Thanks for sharing that, Indie! You paint such beautiful pictures with your words. I still love the image of your beach room, love the aqua toes! I didn't realize you were in Britain. My DS16 would so love to hear about that! She wants to visit there so badly, always has. Someday . . .

I, for one, believe that God does work that way. Sometimes we need a little more prodding than others. Something else must be calling your name, and I hope it's a wonderful change for you! Good luck with job hunting. With everything else you've accomplished, you can certainly do this too. Maybe just a whole beautiful new life is waiting around the corner for you, and God knows you're finally ready

Agree with rainy, but ... black pudding??? And kids eat it? Sounds like a Monster family recipe!

Oh, yes - I saw that. No offense, but BLECH! Indie

Everything else sounds picturesque

black pudding???

quick story: once my best gf and i went to ireland for 9 days. we flew into shannon and rented a car and just drove. on the way to blarney, we took a wrong turn and ended up in a tiny town in the middle of the great beyond. (seriously, have you been to ireland? once hit a t-junction where the sign said <--dingle --> no kidding!) i finally saw a man walking down the road. i told my friend, "roll down your window and ask him which way to blarney." she said, "no! he may be an axe murderer!" (american girls, .) so i made her do it, and he invited us into his home just three houses up. my gf, of course, was totally panicked: "they'll never find our bodies!" but we went in. his wife served us up tea and basically invited the neighbourhood to meet us. in the midst of all this, she brought out a plate of...you guessed it! black pudding! well, when in rome and all that. YUCK! thank goodness i could take a big bite, then wash it down with tea.

needless to say, he wasn't an axe murderer, and we got to blarney, though my tum was a little too weak to kiss the blarney stone after eating, basically, blood. i hope i am never so hungry that black pudding will be a menu option!

the *rest* of your weekend sounds delightful! but watching your little vampire suck down blood sausage would have made me !

glad to hear the toenail is bright blue as well and congrats on a true summer weekend! my mum lives at the beach in WA state. it is high summer. about 60F and raining!

It is delicious! You don't know what you're missing. All crumbly, creamy, soft and tart. Not that I got a bite with the birthday boy running around.

All the British chefs are making special dishes for the Queen's Jubilee next weekend and one recipe I saw was for a warm salad - cubed black pudding, poached eggs and bacon - I'm totally doing that.

Children know what they like. At one point he mistook some cut up burgers for black pudding and was really disappointed in the taste of burgers! Child's an addict.

Oooh, I miss haggis! Not a fan of black pudding though Indie. BTW, if you ever come down under, please pack a jar of Duchy's lemon curd for me. And Tip Tree (?) strawberry jam. Okay, I'll stop the foodie TJ. Until next time, lol.

I like haggis too. Duchys lemon curd IS amazing as well. However if I was to bring you strawberry jam, it would, pompously, be my own. I make it with some hawthorne berries and scented gerenium leaves that resemble wine in taste. Trust me its brilliant. On a scone with clotted cream!

I've got little white strawberry flowers all over my borders so I should get a bumper crop next month.

The garden needs LOTS of work and that's the afternoon planned. This morning Buyers, Renters and Freeloaders arrived - woo hoo! So I read it all on a garden blanket with fancy coffee and an omlette.

God, Dr H is a genius. Some insights I now have I didn't have before. I knew Softlad was a renter as soon as I found MB. But I now know him to be a combination of an Electric Fence Personality (hates authority, inexplicable rages over nothing) a People Pleaser and a Perfectionist.

I used to manage his stubborn angriness so well, other people and their issues were a piece of cake. There's no situation I can't smooth over.

He's certainly a PP too. On honeymoon, he offered to help a complete stranger move house. The guy thought he was a crackpot and I jokingly called him an overeager boyscout. Helping out a widow was most certainly people pleasing to our many couple friends who were busy with children and wanted someone else to do it.

PPs often chose partners who barely like or even dislike them. Then they win them around. I remember early after making each others' acquaintance, he offended me and I reacted strongly. He then made extremely great efforts to win my friendship.

And perfectionism! He could never make a decision. Even between cereal brands. Shopping was a nightmare.

I suppose he was always afraid of unexpectedly running into that electric fence of his, so he worked hard to avoid making mistakes. He also made sure he got people to love him so they would walk with him wherever he wanted to go. It worked well.

Its such a shame because he's an intelligent and caring man beneath all that junk.

I would have worked through all these things at the time, but now I feel grateful to be moving on.

No wonder I like Plan B! Its so much more easy going.

Now I have to go yell at my insurance company who have sent me out a cheque - in Softlads name. Give me strength.

Grrrr. The insurance company say that because he is the main policy holder it either has to be in his name or he has to approve it being sent out in my name.

I said: "Well he's away, working in Singapore. I'm the only one here who can practically arrange repairs." But they insisted. So I said "Well, you'll have to call him then. I would get him to call you, but that seems a little unreasonable getting him to make an international call because of your rules. So she took his number. Which I am pretty sure is unchanged. How depressing I can still reel it off by heart.

I thought tactically that was the best route. If I request it through the IM he then has time and opportunity to mess us around.

If however the insurance co call him up out of the blue with no warning, he has to make a snap decision.

I know he wants to look like a good guy, and its in his interest to get repairs to his own property carried out.

It will also come across more as a company asking him for information, rather than my asking him for something.

I hope so, anyway.

wow, how timely that the cheque arrived with your reading!

i so want to give a copy of BRF to my DD, but am afraid she will think i am being judgemental and won't read it. may just read it myself though.

i hope SL is manipulated by his own inner behaviour to make that decision and you can make your repairs promptly. you must be on tenterhooks.

Softlads mum called me, she said he had phoned her up, was being very confusing but that he had told her it was very urgent she tell me he had arranged for an insurance cheque to be sent to me.

I said yes I was expecting him to do that its fine, just ignore him next time.

My life, he's tiresome. Can't do the simplest most basic bit of his duty of care to me, without presenting it to me for my approval. Look! Look! I did the bare minimum!


Anyway me and his mum had a good chat and she's coming round to see my garden tomorrow. The place is still a disgrace for weeds, but. There's lots of good stuff too.

One big red oriental poppy opened up overnight. Its bigger than a babys head and the red petals are all crinkled, like a silk dress just taken out of the suitcase. Lovely.



I want my was-cheated-on-while-engaged-friend to read it. She's already taken Dr H's advice to date at least 30 people. I'm going to give her the highlights and then just say she can borrow it if she wants. Books are like friends. They can't be forced on people!

I think you handled it great! Bravo!

Thank you! I take that as a great compliment from such an Art of War general as yourself...!

Wow! A few days ago I was a total wimp with everyone having to kick me in the tush, including you, indiegirl. You think I'm an Art of War general now?

I don't know what to say . . .

Thanks!

I told you the brave feelings would show up after exposure.

Before exposure, WH told me he was thinking of leaving me, and wanted to be friends afterwards. I FREAKED and he criticised me for being 'not a good friend to him any more'. So I bought us friendship bracelets (oh the shame!)

But you can't be really strong until you've been really weak. Bravery isn't never being afraid, its doing something even though you're shaking with fear. Once you know you can do that, fear becomes a temporary imposter.

Beautifully spoken!

Had such a great time staying at my friend's near Chester this weekend. We went to a folk festival which was so cool, all the musicians just sitting in corners of pubs jamming away. Then shopping and lunch, and out in Chester on a Saturday night.

I hadn't realised what a pretty place it is. Its so near to me and I have never been before. The little Tudor buildings, with shops stacked, one on top of the other with wrought iron balconys. The Roman wall that surrounds it, still there in places.I thought Liverpool was old, but Chester is older still. It was a good drive too. Through a forest and green fields that looked like a patchwork quilt. I've been offered to become a regular weekend visitor and I just might!

We chatted to lots of people this weekend and its depressing how many tattered relationships you can spot by doing this. Married men, out en masse, getting drunk with their friends as if single. Displaying horrible boundaries. Then there were the couples who were clearly married and had been so a long time. Who also make an effort to get dressed up and go out and have fun with each other.

I really like this stage I'm in. Not being a part of the singles scene, but observing it. Looking, learning, watching, waiting. Deciding what I want. I think even if it was possible to get an instant divorce, you should spend at least a year figuring out what's what.

Chester sounds beautiful. I love seeing the architecture from long ago. I will have to go there someday. I have never been to Europe, maybe during my Plan B would be a good time to do so.

I hope to be in the stage you are in someday. You are soul searching and patiently gathering information about what you want in life and in a potential partner. You are finding the path to a life lived fully and with joy.

I wish we all had a required course in MB during high school or college.

Good insights, Indie. Did you start job hunting?

"Bravery isn't never being afraid, its doing something even though you're shaking with fear. Once you know you can do that, fear becomes a temporary imposter."

Your words of wisdom are very true, something we all learn from MB ... this would be a good quote on the exposure thread, may help newbies find strength.

Chester is beautiful I visited before I married. What a great weekend escape. Lunch by the river sounds wonderful.

Good luck with the job hunting if you decide on a change.