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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 58
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OP
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 58 |
Life has absolutely been fair to me, beyond my imagination. No, I do not feel others have a better life or been given more opportunity or are luckier. Why do you ask? Truth is, you'd said something earlier that made me wonder if you might be thinking you were a victim of life circumstances. Your response (above) assures me you are not.  The "victims" are difficult for me to post to, because I expect MBers to take personal responsibility. I think you are coming around & you are looking for answers. "Victims" are looking for sympathy. I've never felt I was the victim. Quite the opposite. I'm glad you asked and didn't just assume. Sorry I led you to think that initially.
Me: WW...working on the FWW status
Him: BS
2 kids; Married 15 yrs.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Make it your business to make no love busters.
Especially if he LBs himself. Do not tit-for-tat-LB.
If you think there is any justification for your love busters, you'd be mistaken.
OK?
Carry on ...... Eye on the prize.
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 58
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OP
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 58 |
Let's make this brutally plain:
The betrayed spouse drives the recovery bus, amiga. His fidelity is not in question here. Neither is your, btw, since it's a fact yours was faulty. I actually mentioned this to him. "You are in charge of this" and he is in disagreement with that. I said "this is all about how I can help you to build trust again and so forth" and he said "no, it's about you and your feelings, you are the one who went outside the marriage". And I have no response to that. Other than to choose to do better each day for him. I accidentally replied to PraysIncessantly I think about the "working on FWW status". Please read that. It was actually meant for you.
Me: WW...working on the FWW status
Him: BS
2 kids; Married 15 yrs.
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 58
Member
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OP
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 58 |
Make it your business to make no love busters.
Especially if he LBs himself. Do not tit-for-tat-LB.
If you think there is any justification for your love busters, you'd be mistaken.
OK?
Carry on ...... Eye on the prize. Keep Calm and Carry On. You got it.
Me: WW...working on the FWW status
Him: BS
2 kids; Married 15 yrs.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Keep Calm and Carry On. Good advice. I think I'll take it.
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 58
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OP
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 58 |
i have to admit, i've been worried about crzy8s being more concerned about what her BW needs to do to keep HER in the M, rather than what she needs to do to keep HIM! Her "BW"...I'm the wife. So that should be BH, I'm guessing. I'm quite clear that he's not doing anything to keep me other than telling me every day that he wants to keep this marriage in tact. I understand the work is mine to put in now. I think you are right, though, my posts do come across that way. I will consider that prior to posting next time. TY for pointing it out.
Me: WW...working on the FWW status
Him: BS
2 kids; Married 15 yrs.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,232
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,232 |
you're welcome! (and yes, i meant BH.) keep up the good work! remember, marathon, not sprint (so much easier to tell others than to do - voice of experience there).
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