He magically decided on may 21 that he'd make a decision by or on June 21 at the latest.
I figured June 21 ment something to OW, he of course says he just picked a month to decide.
He just wants this to be his decision all the way in my opinion regardless of me filing for divorce.

It seems a form of control that he wants to decide if and when...he's forgetting you can make that decision as well!

We countered an offer on our house today.
It went badly as I ended up breaking plan B though that was not of my doing. I had traffic issues and ended up being there first, he then was there in the area though I only happened to see him not speak to him though neither were a part of the deal but we had confirmed the acceptance or counter would be in by a certain time so it had to be done.
He's angry w me bc someone told him I wouldn't necessarily be happy at this point if he wanted to try to fix the marriage.
Honestly, I don't know if I would be. Plan B is helpful in that I'm starting not to care what he wants.

That's a safe place to be at this point! Good luck on the house.

And now he's back up there and out of the house again.
This time I expected it, so seeing his things gone is not upsetting, but honestly, I have no idea what is going to go on. I was planning to tell my lawyer I want her to draft something for him to pay additional expenses while he is in the house and I am not, wonder if that can be done on a per day basis as him coming and going changes so frequently? I'm meeting with her on Thursday to ask.

Good on asking your lawyer. Let us know what she says.

I met w my lawyer today...she is going to draft something simple that he can sign, and draft a property settlement agreement, including that he won't get any of my 401k and other things that I was the sole contributor to for yrs. Seems like it could still be relatively simple and work.
He contacted me last night, through my work phone. AT&T said the number had been blocked, but the text came up private. Most international numbers that text me for work come up that way, so I opened it.
Bad plan.
"You don't try to understand my position, yes it's all my fault, that does not make it any easier"
"One question in the book I'm reading, about how you feel more attraction to someone for no particular reason than others, that part of the book is how I feel, I also know being with you would be better for me"

I didn't respond. I'm not upset, just kind of eh, this is sad that he's crazy.

Good your lawyer is on top of it.

Sorry for the Plan B crack. What can you do to plug that hole?

What self care do you have planned for you? You're part of the Plan B nails group.

So what color are your nails?

Our phone guy at work is going to contact AT&T again. They said they will also change my number if I'd like.
We're allowed some personal calls/texts so it's not a violation of anything that I could be penalized for, thankfully.

I have pink nails this week! :-)

I am going to an amusement park this weekend w my friend that's in from the UK.
I haven't seen her in about 8 months so its nice to catch up real time.
And, someone asked me on a date.
I'm not going, just not ready, but it's nice that to someone I'm not hideous and boring.

You're doing very well my friend. I would be safe and have hour number changed for your healing.

I would give yourself a time limit after your divorce before you start dating.

Take all the time you need to heal and make sure you use MB concepts while dating. You're young and you have lots of time my dear.

I'm glad you saw an attorney and also glad you're plugging the holes in Plan B. Keep on doing a great job!

Just don't know how to get through the low times.
My friend is here, and it's fabulous to see her, just cannot stop thinking on a beautiful day like today I should have laundry hanging out, he should be folding it, we should be grilling lunch together ...things we liked to do. But he tossed all that normal life aside and I don't know how to be ok w it, how to be ok w being the one that is taking care of everything that i don't want to take care of when he started this.
Trying not to think about it.

Grieving is a process.
Make your way through it.

MO,
It's natural to think those thoughts. When they come, try to refocus to something positive, like how well you're handling things and dealing with it. You're a strong person and you're setting some boundaries and you're in the process of creating a better life for yourself...with or w/o him.

Hi all. So, as I have said, June 21 was the magical decision day.
Well, instead of that, this morning I received a message from the IM saying H wants to meet, and he said the following:
"Want to tell her I'm coming home for good and want to work on things with her.
This is my decision and I'm ready to commit 100% to trying until one of us decides not to, if that's what she still wants, hope to see her later"

So...not certain how I should proceed.
Do I send the IM a message back and say first off let me see the NC letter he's drafted? (as my first requirement)....do I list all of my requirements again and ask how he plans on meeting them?

I just don't know.
I have no desire to see him or to even think about reconciling, now that he's saying what I originally wanted, let alone showing it.

I'm just exhausted.

I would restate your requirements and yes, ask for the NC letter...that's a good place to start.

Hi all. He was pissy about sending her the nc letter. He said he already sent her an nc text (he did, I saw it) so he didn't want to do something else now. Typical ww speak, I know. I told him my first condition was a nc letter, so he could think about what's important to him, bc that's a necessary condition for me to try to reconcile, even if he doesn't think so.
He gave me all his passwords, said I can see his texts at any time.
He bought dr Harley's book to read and another about understanding your spouses pain. He signed himself up for ic, moved back home...

so, I guess I just see what he does about the nc letter, and plan b again until then.

What I would like your opinion on is, is it normal to kind of be rough and not happy in the beginning? Like it seems almost that he's not happy w his own decision.

Happy isn't even the right word...he seems unsettled and something else but I don't know what it is.

Happy isn't an emotion a wayward starts having if they aren't remorseful.
Even if they are truly remorseful they may go through withdrawal which they definitely are not happy.

You need to make sure he meets all your requirements in your Plan B letter before you let him home. What were your requirements?

Also he needs to get rid of the conditions that allowed his affair. For example if it was Facebook get rid of facebook. If it was texting, change his number.

Well, he can be home. I'm not home by choice.
My plan B letter stated I needed an NC letter, total transparency w his cell texting/phone log/email, he needs to get into IC, he cannot go out w anyone alone, and a few minor things.

He's done all but the NC letter. I NEED that before I can even think of coming out of plan B. Regardless of what he understands or thinks, he knew it. I was totally clear, that was number 1.

So I'm still in plan B until I see that.