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It will be hard to move, but believe me I have given it some thought. Any ideas on how to get them to move?
The affair didn't happen in our homes. He has a lot in town, and she told me they would go there for the physical stuff.
The professional associations is a good idea. I will look into that. Maybe if I can hurt him I can get him to consider moving. I have also thought about placing the idea in his wife's head by warning her of the danger of my wife not working on our marriage. I do need to try and get her onboard somehow, but she seems to want this to just go away.
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It will be hard to move, but believe me I have given it some thought. Any ideas on how to get them to move? Man_Betrayed. Your story is the same as mine and I learned from my own personal experience that you are better off controlling your own life because that is really the only thing you CAN control. Is a divorce easier than moving?
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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Even if you can get OM to move, you will still be triggered just by being in that neighborhood...every time you open the door and see OM house.
You cannot recover trying to stay in your old life - whether it is your marriage or your own personal recovery.
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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It will be hard to move, but believe me I have given it some thought. Any ideas on how to get them to move?
The affair didn't happen in our homes. He has a lot in town, and she told me they would go there for the physical stuff.
The professional associations is a good idea. I will look into that. Maybe if I can hurt him I can get him to consider moving. I have also thought about placing the idea in his wife's head by warning her of the danger of my wife not working on our marriage. I do need to try and get her onboard somehow, but she seems to want this to just go away. I already told you tell all the neighbors ... make sure all the husbands know he is a threat to their wives ... you will likely need to move also because all the wives are going to know she is a threat to their husbands. If he has money and does business in town, then your best bet is to expose him to EVERYONE and anyone who will listen. Let them know he is a liar, cheat, thief, and family destroyer.
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Man_Betrayed,
Also get creative on your internet searching, for example search on "@OM_company.com" , his or his employees emails may be embedded in a pdf document his customers have on their websites. You may be able to hand in a anonymous tip to the state tax authorities, if he is will to play an employee he will skim sales tax as well.
Nowadays people can be found it's just a matter of searching in the right places and being persistent.
Did you contact his parents or other relatives.
God Bless
Gamma
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MB, Also did you write down ALL of his facebook contacts, and here possibly a better one create a fake www.linkedin.com account which looks like a customer he may have tons of business contacts there. God Bless Gamma
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Joined: May 2012
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Thanks everyone. I feel like I have done all I can. I feel like I let her know that I love her and I have done what I can to show her. The ball is in her court. I can't make her love me, and I can't stop her from leaving me. I am going to let her move out and give her time to think about it. If she leaves or goes with him, then that is what she wants. If she wants to be with me then she knows where I live. I am not going to go crazy worrying about what might happen or whether she might hook up with him. If that is what she wants, then I will just have to move on with my life. Thanks again for your concern.
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Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6
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Thanks everyone. I feel like I have done all I can. I feel like I let her know that I love her and I have done what I can to show her. The ball is in her court. I can't make her love me, and I can't stop her from leaving me. I am going to let her move out and give her time to think about it. If she leaves or goes with him, then that is what she wants. If she wants to be with me then she knows where I live. I am not going to go crazy worrying about what might happen or whether she might hook up with him. If that is what she wants, then I will just have to move on with my life. Thanks again for your concern. Your WW is an addict and isn't thinking clearly. Would you allow an alcoholic to walk into a bar by themselves? Is that how you care for people? Let her "have time to herself" is fueling the drug, my friend. You're pushing her to her OM by doing this. You're fueling her affair. You still won't expose this? Exposure 101 Carrot and Stick of Plan A You don't want to fight for your M? Your family? 22 years?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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