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totally2confused #2635260 06/13/12 09:02 AM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
He sent her a text yesterday at 2 pm but she didn't respond unless they started talking over Facebook.

No my cousin can't because she befriended my whole family and the people I work with that she was friends with on Facebook.

I could try, don't know if she would go for it at this point.

Yes expose this to her church friends.

Does she pay her phone bill or you?

Do not let her conduct her affair in your home. Did you ever get the book SAA?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2635286 06/13/12 09:44 AM
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I will expose.

We are on a family plan so we both pay the bill.

I finally got it in the mail and have made it to chapter six.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2635287 06/13/12 09:46 AM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
I will expose.

We are on a family plan so we both pay the bill.

I finally got it in the mail and have made it to chapter six.

Good job.

Have you read about John and Sue?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2635309 06/13/12 10:53 AM
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Yes I have read about john and sue or at least as much of their story that is through chapter six.

Just got my boys. But I will still be on throughout the day for further advice.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2635435 06/13/12 06:51 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
Yes I have read about john and sue or at least as much of their story that is through chapter six.

Just got my boys. But I will still be on throughout the day for further advice.

Can you afford calling the coaching center?

At least email the show? Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2635470 06/13/12 09:01 PM
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I may be able to afford it. I will have to look at my finances.

I definitely need some advice on this one. My five year old asked me today what was going on between me and his mom. I definitely want to tell him but don't really know how to do it. I think he will possibly be my biggest ally in this whole situation.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2635472 06/13/12 09:11 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
I may be able to afford it. I will have to look at my finances.

I definitely need some advice on this one. My five year old asked me today what was going on between me and his mom. I definitely want to tell him but don't really know how to do it. I think he will possibly be my biggest ally in this whole situation.

I would really find the money and get a plan from the MB coaches.

Yes you need to tell him the truth. Please let me know what you think. Let us know what your DS5 says.

Found a radio clip from Dr. Harley telling children even as young as 4.

The Harley's discuss telling the children even as young as 4 about the affair [/quote]


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2635476 06/13/12 09:26 PM
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That explains a lot BH. I think I am going write something up and post it on here and get your opinion.

I agree with Dr. Harley that if my ww love the kids the way she suppose to them she would have never done this or since she has done it then she would stop and try to fix it.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2635483 06/13/12 10:10 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
That explains a lot BH. I think I am going write something up and post it on here and get your opinion.

I agree with Dr. Harley that if my ww love the kids the way she suppose to them she would have never done this or since she has done it then she would stop and try to fix it.

Well when waywards are wayward they aren't thinking. That is why the BS Has to drive the bus. Trying to figure out the thinking of a wayward will drive you crazy so don't waste your energy.

Spend your energy on making sure the affair is dead. Taking care of you and your boys. Being the best Husband that she fell in love with.

So how is the conversation going?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2635646 06/14/12 02:18 PM
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Alright BH I know this is going to sound stupid and you can hit me with whatever you want to but what would be a good way to start a conversation with WW considering she might not want to talk at all.

Just don't hit to hard. smile


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2635647 06/14/12 02:25 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
Alright BH I know this is going to sound stupid and you can hit me with whatever you want to but what would be a good way to start a conversation with WW considering she might not want to talk at all.

Just don't hit to hard. smile

Listen to this and come back and tell me what you think. Pay attention to the last part.
Radio clip on conversation


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2635723 06/14/12 09:01 PM
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If I listened to the segment correctly I should start off by asking what is making her so upset towards me.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2635739 06/14/12 10:55 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
If I listened to the segment correctly I should start off by asking what is making her so upset towards me.

Yes. You need to make sure you are listening to her and remain calm if she tells you something you don't like. Maybe have a pen and paper and write down what she says.

Read this and pay attention to the friends and enemies of good conversation.
Conversation is Boring

What happened when you told your boys?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2635862 06/15/12 09:17 AM
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I'm working on how to tell them. That is my job tonight when I get off work. I'm going to jot some stuff down and then post on here to get your opinion.

Only telling one of the boys because the youngest is only three.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2635969 06/15/12 02:22 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
I'm working on how to tell them. That is my job tonight when I get off work. I'm going to jot some stuff down and then post on here to get your opinion.

Only telling one of the boys because the youngest is only three.

I agree to just tell your DS5. You heard in the clip what Dr. Harley says to say, correct?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2636145 06/15/12 09:12 PM
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BH, this is what I have so far. I think he should be able to understand.


DS5, I would like to explain to you what is going on between Daddy and Mommy. Your Mommy is having and affair which is not a good thing in the eyes of God. Mommy has found someone else that she loves more than Daddy. This guy has become Mommy's best friend when Daddy should be Mommy's best friend. Mommy is willing to sacrifice your happiness for this other man. I'm sorry Mommy is doing this to our family and is willing to hurt our family for this other man. Daddy is trying to repair this but Mommy does not want to at the moment. She feels we will all be happy if we live separately.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2636180 06/16/12 02:50 AM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
BH, this is what I have so far. I think he should be able to understand.


DS5, I would like to explain to you what is going on between Daddy and Mommy. Your Mommy is having and affair which is not a good thing in the eyes of God. Mommy has found someone else that she loves more than Daddy. This guy has become Mommy's best friend when Daddy should be Mommy's best friend. Mommy is willing to sacrifice your happiness for this other man. I'm sorry Mommy is doing this to our family and is willing to hurt our family for this other man. Daddy is trying to repair this but Mommy does not want to at the moment. She feels we will all be happy if we live separately.


I would say Mommy has a boyfriend. Married people are not supposed to have boyfriends or girlfriends when they are married. Daddy wants to do everything to keep our family together. Mommy shouldn't have a boyfriend other than daddy. You shouldn't do what Mommy is doing to our family.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2636183 06/16/12 02:55 AM
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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
I would say Mommy has a boyfriend. Married people are not supposed to have boyfriends or girlfriends when they are married. Daddy wants to do everything to keep our family together. Mommy shouldn't have a boyfriend other than daddy.
X 2. To the point and in words a child can understand.


Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.

WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.

Plan B has set me free.

"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
Caracal #2636337 06/16/12 12:05 PM
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I like what ya'll wrote a lot. I will use what ya'll wrote instead.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2636364 06/16/12 02:14 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
I like what ya'll wrote a lot. I will use what ya'll wrote instead.
Good. So when are you telling him?

What has your conversation been like with WW? How's your Plan A? Is she still at home?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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