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Joined: May 2012
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AD, people in the thick of an affair often mimic BPD behaviors so I wouldn't put much stock in that. They ALL have poor boundaries around members of the opposite and they are certainly not all BPD. It is the affair that plays the major role. Additionally, BPD is a very over diagnosed illness and Harley is doubtful that most of the diagnoses apply. My situation is different. In my case this is BPD. People involved in the affairs do not attempt suicide. 75% and 10% commit suicide. I disagree that BPD is over diagnosed . The opposite is true. It is a serious mental illness. I never said that all people involved in the affair suffers from BPD, but for sure some do.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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People involved in the affairs do not attempt suicide. Actually I'm pretty sure I've heard of a couple of cases of affair suicide. And some really similar experiences here on this forum. I disagree that BPD is over diagnosed . The opposite is true. If you disagree with Dr. Harley's professional opinion, why are you looking for advice here on his forum? There are multiple points of view on this. You might find out that Dr. Harley's point of view has something to offer, even if it is a minority view. Dr. Harley did run a successful large chain of mental health clinics for years, and dealt with a large variety of disorders, including bipolar. If I remember right from his radio show, he said that treatment with lithium was practically mandatory and would work great, but that getting the right dosage of the medication was tricky. He said that newer medications were being tried that were not so sensitive on the dosage, but that so far they did not help nearly so much as lithium.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
AD, people in the thick of an affair often mimic BPD behaviors so I wouldn't put much stock in that. They ALL have poor boundaries around members of the opposite and they are certainly not all BPD. It is the affair that plays the major role. Additionally, BPD is a very over diagnosed illness and Harley is doubtful that most of the diagnoses apply. My situation is different. In my case this is BPD. People involved in the affairs do not attempt suicide. 75% and 10% commit suicide. Yes, they do attempt suicide. Depression is the norm in affairs. I disagree that BPD is over diagnosed . The opposite is true. Dr Harley would disagree with you. It seems to be the catch-all for any and all bad behavior nowadays. He has concluded, in his professional opinion, that it is rarely applicable. Especially in the case of adulterers. Their behavior closely mimics so-called "BPD," not because they have that illness, but because they are addicted to an affair.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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AD, I found a clip that Dr. Harley talks about emotional disorders at about the 2 min mark. This is just a small snippet about it. Radio ClipI would also suggest writing to Dr. Harley on the radio show and asking him. Let us know what he says. Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
I found a clip of Dr. Harley talking about borderline personality disorder. Rsdio clip on BPD
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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