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I arrived in August of 2007. I never saw evidence of OW running things. But...things have changed dramatically since then. I felt welcome in 2007. These days most of my posts are edited or deleted all together as if they never existed.
In 2007 through 2010 I felt very supported and understood. After that I feel things changed dramatically. I mean, DRAMATICALLY. I no longer recognize this board. You do realize your presence here is voluntary, right? Nothing is stopping you from leaving. I can't imagine staying around a place I claimed to dislike so much.  If you had posts "edited" or "deleted" they must have been in violation of TOS, so it sounds like sour grapes to me. If you are a guest on someone's board, you might want to follow the TOS, ya know?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thank you Melody.  Thank YOU, Brainhurts, for being a REAL "veteran" on this board. Thank for your many contributions to the broken hearted people who come to this board every day seeking help. YOU are the definition of a real "veteran."  Agreed  I love seeing MB radio links posted all over the place! 
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Joined: Mar 2010
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I arrived in 2010, SmilingWoman, and MB101 was a cesspool where a bunch of self-inflated, wannabe marriage counselors hung around and handed out mediocre advice to people in hurting marriages.
The advice I got: Get a job and clean the house. NOTHING about MB principles.
I am thrilled that THAT has changed.
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Well you're talking the talk and walking the walk now, aren't you? I have learned alot from you and markos, as well as many other fine posters here. For that, I thank you. You are a very kind woman, Brainhurts.
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I arrived in August of 2007. I never saw evidence of OW running things. But...things have changed dramatically since then. I felt welcome in 2007. These days most of my posts are edited or deleted all together as if they never existed.
In 2007 through 2010 I felt very supported and understood. After that I feel things changed dramatically. I mean, DRAMATICALLY. I no longer recognize this board. I'm sure no one would have felt unwelcome back then. "Marriage Builders" was just the name of the website. 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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The advice I got: Get a job and clean the house. NOTHING about MB principles. And I was told to have no expectations, rather than how to use the Marriage Builders plans to motivate my wife to want to meet my expectations. It wasn't the only thing I was told, but I sure remember being disillusioned by it. I am so thankful that I listened to MelodyLane and got us into the MB online course, and also that the radio show started back up about that time. Now I am happy to give out free what I paid for: Marriage Builders advice.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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These days most of my posts are edited or deleted all together as if they never existed. Words fail me! (...so at least they won't get "zapped"!) 
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This is what is so interesting to me. Because the forums are being used to actually teach MB concepts there are posters that "don't like the tone" of the board now days? Huh? Because MB concepts are actually being taught? No one says you can't post your own opinion AS LONG as it is aligned with MB and follows TOS. I think the MODS do a fine job "editing" where "editing" needs to be. How can teaching MARRIAGE BUILDERS have a bad tone? Why be here then? I'm sure there are forums that are anti-MB that people can swim in together. I love it when a more seasoned vet comes along and corrects my incorrect spellings and when I'm incorrect on something.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I arrived in August of 2007. I never saw evidence of OW running things. But...things have changed dramatically since then. I felt welcome in 2007. These days most of my posts are edited or deleted all together as if they never existed.
In 2007 through 2010 I felt very supported and understood. After that I feel things changed dramatically. I mean, DRAMATICALLY. I no longer recognize this board. You do realize your presence here is voluntary, right? Nothing is stopping you from leaving. I can't imagine staying around a place I claimed to dislike so much. If you had posts "edited" or "deleted" they must have been in violation of TOS, so it sounds like sour grapes to me. If you are a guest on someone's board, you might want to follow the TOS, ya know? Not sure how to answer that without violating TOS rules about discussing moderators actions. Maybe you can pm me so I can explain.
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The advice I got: Get a job and clean the house. NOTHING about MB principles. And I was told to have no expectations, rather than how to use the Marriage Builders plans to motivate my wife to want to meet my expectations. It wasn't the only thing I was told, but I sure remember being disillusioned by it. I am so thankful that I listened to MelodyLane and got us into the MB online course, and also that the radio show started back up about that time. Now I am happy to give out free what I paid for: Marriage Builders advice. I am happy to say I never gave you that advice.
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I arrived in 2010, SmilingWoman, and MB101 was a cesspool where a bunch of self-inflated, wannabe marriage counselors hung around and handed out mediocre advice to people in hurting marriages.
The advice I got: Get a job and clean the house. NOTHING about MB principles.
I am thrilled that THAT has changed. Hmmmmm.....I arrived her in 2007 and was told by Mel that I was probably married to a sociopath. I don't remember anything about a cesspool or mediocre advice....and I promise I never told you to get a job and clean the house. Then again in 2010 I was still recovering from my failed marriage of 26 years.
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SW, just FYI (carrying on the charade that you don't know this after so long) but PMs are disabled and have been for a long time. Maybe you should just email Justuss and ask for an email exchange. Sometimes that is done under qualified circumstances, or if the heart is in the right place. But you already know this, right?
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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[
Hmmmmm.....I arrived her in 2007 and was told by Mel that I was probably married to a sociopath. I don't remember anything about a cesspool or mediocre advice....and I promise I never told you to get a job and clean the house. Then again in 2010 I was still recovering from my failed marriage of 26 years. I didn't post on MB101 in 2007, though.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Things have changed. For the better! I am also a huge fan of Brain's radio links, thank you so much.
I showed up in 2008, and the quality of advice toward MB in 101 was dismal, at best. Dangerous at worst. I notice many of my first responders are no longer here...hmm...
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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Hey BH, Things must be REALLY slow during your second-shift sojourn for you to light upon the idea of reviewing and discussing threads from the early MB days, so crammed with inappropriate posts from cheaters, their facilitators, THEIR apologists and other incompetents! So as things quiet down here (and that may take a while - carry on ladies!), let's brainstorm your next initiative. - How about wearing a bright ORANGE pantsuit, and strolling through the Catholic areas of Derry, singing "God Save Our Gracious Queen"? - Or donning a revealing bikini, and eating pulled-pork barbecue while reading Satanic Verses in downtown Tehran? Whatever your choice, I salute you for your well-established fearlessness!
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Hey BH, Things must be REALLY slow during your second-shift sojourn for you to light upon the idea of reviewing and discussing threads from the early MB days, so crammed with inappropriate posts from cheaters, their facilitators, THEIR apologists and other incompetents! So as things quiet down here (and that may take a while - carry on ladies!), let's brainstorm your next initiative. - How about wearing a bright ORANGE pantsuit, and strolling through the Catholic areas of Derry, singing "God Save Our Gracious Queen"? - Or donning a revealing bikini, and eating pulled-pork barbecue while reading Satanic Verses in downtown Tehran? Whatever your choice, I salute you for your well-established fearlessness! Haha  I guess I opened a can of worms? I have my orange jumpsuit on order and I will pull my Satanic Verses out from the dungeon. I am having trouble finding a ticket to Tehran. They said that some unknown person has booked a whole group of minions to go. I said I could "NeverGuess" who that may be. Do you have an idea?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Well, if you're going to start some trouble, I figured you'd need some support. Just for diversity, I'm bringing some Hare Krishnas, some Jesuits, and a smattering of southern Bible-thumpers! And I think we can get you a seat on our El AL charter!
(I also got the fried pork-rind concession locked up!)
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Well, if you're going to start some trouble, I figured you'd need some support. Just for diversity, I'm bringing some Hare Krishnas, some Jesuits, and a smattering of southern Bible-thumpers! And I think we can get you a seat on our El AL charter!
(I also got the fried pork-rind concession locked up!) Woo Hoo bring it!! Leave it to you to "stir the pot". Or was that Mel that another poster accused her of being the pot stirrer? I get you two mixed up a lot. Dang I love me some pork-rinds. Hotter the better! Watch out you minions! I wonder if there's a radio clip on pork-rinds? I'm going to check my library.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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The greatest lesson that is coming off these boards today are the lessons on a "Plan"...what is the Plan?
You have to be willing to pull the betrayed into the plan because without it they use the same coping skills (Lovebusters mostly) to try and control the situation and gain the upper hand with adultery.
The key is adultery has to be treated like a drug infested cockroach ... turn the light on and detox (EXPOSURE AND NO CONTACT).
Without those first two steps there is no plan.
It takes skill to get to the betrayed spouse in a timely manner to do something that is completely counter-intuitive ... that is what needs to happen. Quickly and Decisively ... Get them into a Plan.
Last edited by PrayIncessantly; 06/13/12 03:59 PM.
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Maybe you can pm me so I can explain. Huh? You already know there's no PM'ing on this site. (Thank God for avoiding THAT!) You already know that. You ALREADY KNOW THAT, SMILING WOMAN. What is your goal, here?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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