Are you going to let OW's BH know of her breaking contact? He deserves to know.

I need my space and he doesn't need anything. I have given him everything he has asked for in the past. It's just a power struggle!

He's fighting me to keep the house. I really need to make sure I can afford everything on my own. Oh, he's also asking for me to pay his attorney fees and pay rent (he says I kicked him out and changed the locks)!!! lol

He chose to stay out of the house, not willing to do any work towards R!

Yes, I texted him last night that WH might try to contact her and to keep an eye out for it if it happens. She must have intercepted his text and called me today from his phone. She also left me a nasty voicemail, but I think I put her in her place once we spoke over the phone. They deserve each other! I'm sick of lying, cheating and fake people who destroy lives and not willing to pick up the pieces or do what needs to be done to better themselves or their families. It really pisses me off!

I'm in a much better place now... and I'll be ok. Not living a life of lies with a cheater is nice.. Yes, lonely at times, but I WILL BE OK! I will survive and I will make it through this and hopefully be able to look back one day and be thankful that I didn't have the baby I wanted and prayed for everyday with this man who I don't even know anymore... maybe I never did!

I could always try to find a roommate, but I'm not sure what I want or should do.

You're much stronger since you first came here. I commend you on that.

So since she intercepted it he probably still doesn't know.

The assistant should have a backup attorney to inquire about legal matters but simply do nothing and if WH gets a locksmith, if you are not home.........document and if WH tries to be in your presence to have it done

Do

Not

Love Bust

as you matter of factly tell them they will need to leave the premises or you will call the police.

Then, call police and tell them that you are in legal proceedings and he is attemping to access your home and that he does not live there.

Thank you for the compliment. I'm still weak, but getting stronger every day!

Yes, I wondered the same thing too (if her BH has no idea about the text).

I asked and she doesn't have a back-up and I'm pissed! I haven't received one response from her to my emails and the "assistant" hasn't heard from her either. She said its been hit or miss with her responses. Who does this sort of thing?

Well if you really like your lawyer, you could stay with her and then ask when she gets back why she hasn't got a back up, when you needed one. That's pretty shoddy. Her assistant might just be a bit rubbish though.

Otherwise you could switch lawyers. You want a firm with their act together, if you don't have faith in them.

In the meantime there's no reason to panic or do anything.

Just cause WH is in a panic about trying to get his feet back under the table - doesn't mean you have to care.

If he tries anything, you call the cops, just like you would have done any other week.

Its horrible when their lawyer realises their client is totally at fault and doesn't have a leg to stand on, so just decides to harrass you instead. Its happened to me. Its just hot air from the lawyer. They have a client who's angry that their world fell in when they hit it with a hammer - and toddler-like is demanding their lawyer do something about it.

The lawyer takes a deep breath and says "Well we can send her a letter. Make it look official. She's not obligated to listen though.... (Now will that get you off my case!)"

I'd rather be in charge of cleaning up vomit in an all night club than be the legal servant of a wayward.

Agree with everything you said 200%!!!
Thank you Indie!!! . Thank you for making me feel better! This is so stressful, but talking to my neighbor friend and trying to remain calm.

Star, your WH doesn't like that you have cut him off while in Plan B. If he doesn't want to be with you anymore, and he wants a divorce, why would he care about getting into your home? It's a move to get a reaction out of you. Remember, you need to be an enemy to them, so they have someone to fight against, and so there is drama. Affairs THRIVE on drama, and that is one of the reasons you are supposed to be in Plan B, to remove yourself from that drama.

Now, although the phone call from OW was a breach of Plan B, you could have done a lot worse. Next time though, use the Art of War strategy and try to get OW off balance. If she calls you again, instead of engaging her, say things like, "That's interesting, I didn't know that, Um-hm, Really?" and let her tell you all sorts of things. The enemy will actually tend to show their cards to you and hang themselves, you just gotta let them.

As far as the stuff with the key, let the lawyers deal with it. And as LR said, if your WH gets a locksmith, so can you. I'd actually get the card off of the one your WH uses, and use the same guy.

This was exactly my thought as well. Plus you can redo do your nails when the same locksmith returns. You biggest concern should be deciding on which color to choose.

How do I use Art of War? Is this a book?

Thanks for all of the advice! I love the fingernail polish comments too... they always make me laugh!
BTW: my toes this week are Red!

Here. The Art Of War by Sun Tzu

Also, can you send a certified letter to the BH to inform him of the contact? I think the OW intercepted your message.

I just don't have the energy to expose anymore to OW's H. He already knows what she is and if he doesn't or doesn't care, it's not really my problem. The one thing I can control is myself and not allowing anymore abuse in my own life.

Let us know what you make of Art of War. I'd be intrigued to hear your take on it.

I can still see so clearly those scenes you described insisting WH take a poly! Poor little wayward never stood a chance.

Btw red nails ROCK

Question: While in Plan B is it ok/proper to still expose?
I have been told that WH is having another affair with a whore that we work with. Should I take this to HR or just ignore? It is causing me a lot of anxiety!