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Originally Posted by Scotland
Star, have you ever read the thread by Atena? She continued to work with her WH. It didn't do her any good at all. You could see the pain and anguish that she dealt with on a daily basis. OW also lived in her building, if I remember correctly. It was just awful to see her suffer when she didn't need to.

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2530864&page=1

No, but I'll read her story. Thank you for sharing!

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Originally Posted by starfish75
I don't really feel he has been held accountable by his family and it's upsetting. I don't feel my exposure did much in regards to his family.


Realtionships with in-laws in Plan B can be tricky. I still have a relationship with MiL, because she knows not to mention him and she supported me to the hilt, telling him he was a fool and doing wrong. I would have preferred a stronger, 'You're nothing to do with me until you make it right' but her stance was basically enough for me. No relationship with the (probably wayward too) FiL though because I know he went around telling people I was 'mistaken' about the A to save face.

If you have resentment and don't feel they backed you up enough - you arent going to be close and contact with them will probably annoy or hurt you.

You have three choices: 1) maintain a polite relationship, where you just keep things surface level, 2) tell them you wish they'd held him more to account or 3) just let the relationship drop.

It all boils down to whats best for you and your Plan B. I wouldnt worry about what you 'should' do. As long as you're civil and all your relationships are supportive ones.

Last edited by indiegirl; 06/20/12 02:41 AM.

What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Thanks Indie. I'm going to do my best to keep things casual.

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HELP! I just received a message from a detective (with case #) in OW #2's city. I'm assuming this is about fb exposure. What am I supposed to do?

I returned his call, but he is in court. He is supposed to call me back.. Anybody else ever have this happen? How am I supposed to handle this?

Last edited by starfish75; 06/20/12 07:51 AM.
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HELP! HELP! HELP! See post above!!!

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Originally Posted by starfish75
HELP! I just received a message from a detective (with case #) in OW #2's city. I'm assuming this is about fb exposure. What am I supposed to do?

I returned his call, but he is in court. He is supposed to call me back.. Anybody else ever have this happen? How am I supposed to handle this?


Why would you assume that? Exposure has nothing to do with police detectives! Unless adultery has become criminilised overnight.

Are you sure its a REAL detective? Text asking for his name and department, then call the police station using the listed number and ask for the name he gave you. They should be able to verify he is who he says he is.

Its not impossible for OW to have got someone to try to scare you.

If its a real detective, then she might have committed a crime, and as someone she betrayed, youd be willing to them facts about her.

I was once called by detectives to talk about an article I'd written. I instantly assumed I must have done something wrong. Turns out I had simply interviewed people who had gone on to commit a crime and they wanted to know what they had told me. Relax. You haven�t done anything wrong.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Edit. Delete.

Last edited by GoingUphill; 06/20/12 07:59 AM.
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Originally Posted by GoingUphill
Edit. Delete.

IG's post showed that mine was way out of whack. I was thinking "Get legal advice."

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starfish. What are you worried about? You haven't done anything wrong.

This could be about anything.

Remind me who OW #2 is again?


ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008

Recovered

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Relax. Take a long walk or just refocus on other things.

Whatever the person wants to contact you about......don't let it rattle you. You are living by plans which create calmness and strength and bravery and not reacting to others right now.







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I have personally wondered if exposure could constitute 'defamation of character' and just thought I would look it up. It is defamation if it is UNTRUE statements, and since exposure is just stating the facts it does not qualify. Also, the courts seldom touch defamation of character for a private citizen (whereas they take it more seriously if you are dealing with people in the public eye). And finally, they don't put a DETECTIVE on the job (or at least as a tax paying citizen I should hope not), in fact its generally handled as a civil manner. Other than this, I can't imagine what you could possibly be investigated for.

Unless OW's body turned up somewhere, then they might want to talk to you. Just putting it out there.

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unwritten is right, it is not defamation if it is true. It is not illegal to tell the truth in America. And if that skank wants to take you to court to prove it, that would be great!! Your attorney could then subpoena all her email and cell phone records! grin

Actually, we have seen hundreds of threats to sue over exposure, but not one has ever come to fruition. The reason why? They would lose the case and humiliate themselves in a public court!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by indiegirl
Originally Posted by starfish75
HELP! I just received a message from a detective (with case #) in OW #2's city. I'm assuming this is about fb exposure. What am I supposed to do?

I returned his call, but he is in court. He is supposed to call me back.. Anybody else ever have this happen? How am I supposed to handle this?


Why would you assume that? Exposure has nothing to do with police detectives! Unless adultery has become criminilised overnight.

Are you sure its a REAL detective? Text asking for his name and department, then call the police station using the listed number and ask for the name he gave you. They should be able to verify he is who he says he is.

Its not impossible for OW to have got someone to try to scare you.

If its a real detective, then she might have committed a crime, and as someone she betrayed, youd be willing to them facts about her.

I was once called by detectives to talk about an article I'd written. I instantly assumed I must have done something wrong. Turns out I had simply interviewed people who had gone on to commit a crime and they wanted to know what they had told me. Relax. You haven�t done anything wrong.
3

I googled the number and it is the police dept.

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Originally Posted by pokerface
starfish. What are you worried about? You haven't done anything wrong.

This could be about anything.

Remind me who OW #2 is again?

She's the one that WH had the one night stand with in Colorado.

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Originally Posted by starfish75
I googled the number and it is the police dept.

We have had a couple of instances where an OP will call the police about exposure and a police would call the BS and tell her to stop it. But they have no legal grounds to make such a demand. If he does, I would ask him what law you have broken? The last I checked, it is not illegal in America to tell the truth.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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She is trying to get me in trouble for harrassment.
The detective is going to call my husband and the detective said that he is going to try to deescalate the situation before it gets to be a huge problem with subpoenas, etc. He said that he can pull all phone records, facebook accounts, etc.

He said he will contact the "victim" OW#2 and then he will be in contact with me to let me know the outcome. I have contacted my attorney, but I had to leave a message as she wasn't in the office.

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How can he 'deescalate' a situation that is over? She cheated , you told people, done.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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He can't do anything to you, that is ridiculous. He is just trying to scare you.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Why don't you call the police on her for harrassment? She slept with your husband for crying out loud! All you did was expose truth.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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"harassment" requires ONGOING contact with the purpose to threaten.
Its NOT a one-time event. The truth is on your side.
Be PROUD of what you did! Don't hide from it!

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