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It is funny that I do have a tab open of Fence Sitters. And it is her friends that based on how I've treated her proclaim that I must be cheating.

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Originally Posted by ewh2085
Yes...how is MB diff than DB counseling?

Marriage Builders has a plan to restore the love to your marriage, DB does not. Marriage Builders is completely different from DB in that it has a step by step process that focuses on changing bad behaviors.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by ewh2085
No, I have not done the coaching. But, her book I credit to saving me last time.

The problem is that it wasn't effective in transforming your marriage. Or you wouldn't be here today.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Yes, I absolutely will be scheduling a Marriage Builders call session. Now what do I do this moment? She is up and moving about and I don't want my presence to freak her out or me with her disgust...

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Originally Posted by ewh2085
Yes, I absolutely will be scheduling a Marriage Builders call session. Now what do I do this moment? She is up and moving about and I don't want my presence to freak her out or me with her disgust...

Be as pleasant as possible.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Ok, I made coffee and mentioned the Greek election...she made an analogy on what socialist do...make other people pay for their mistakes...I said we can talk later not wanting to take the bait and fight

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Not a bank deposit but hopefully not a withdrawal...always worried that my avoidance equates to w/d but even there I never followed her rule

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Originally Posted by ewh2085
Ok, I made coffee and mentioned the Greek election...she made an analogy on what socialist do...make other people pay for their mistakes...I said we can talk later not wanting to take the bait and fight

Do not love bust at all.

You can also fill this out for her also.
Personal History Questionnaire


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Ok, did and how did I LB?

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Ok, should I do all these ?'s before my first call? I have alot of writing it looks like.

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Originally Posted by ewh2085
Ok, did and how did I LB?

You didn't. I was just reminding for you not to.



FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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BTW - My personal life coach is a NLP. DS mocks this whereas hers is a licensed therapist/psychologist. Albeit she wouldn't mock anyone if she saw the changes...

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"Lack of empathy helps makes thoughtlessness possible. Since we don't feel what other's feel, we tend to minimize the negative effects we have on others, and consider our thoughtlessness to be benign."

Wow, I hear this from her all the time...my LB are disrespect and honesty and I guess I'd say from her view I never act married so therefore independent.

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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by ewh2085
Yes...how is MB diff than DB counseling?

Marriage Builders has a plan to restore the love to your marriage, DB does not. Marriage Builders is completely different from DB in that it has a step by step process that focuses on changing bad behaviors.

Right, the restoration of romantic love is the big difference between Dr. Harley / Marriage Builders and everything else out there. Most counselors we turned to seemed to think restoration of romantic love was unrealistic.

Dr. Jennifer Chalmers is Dr. Harley's daughter and also a coach/counselor using the Marriage Builders approach. Here is an article she wrote on the big difference:

Romantic Love: Is it a Realistic Goal for Marriage Therapy?


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Ok, and in my call I speek only with Dr. Harley?

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Originally Posted by ewh2085
Ok, I made coffee and mentioned the Greek election...she made an analogy on what socialist do...make other people pay for their mistakes...I said we can talk later not wanting to take the bait and fight

It takes 2 people to fight. Don't fight!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Ok...she just said I am the most selfish human being and wants me OUT of her life! I cause her to hate herself and my starting a fight at 11pm is stealing her from our childs needs. I'm freaking out again...she thinks I get off on our confrontations...gives me feeling of love.

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Don't fight? Her dad who I've been secretly talking to to me to shut the f up...but, like this am she starts into it...why? Because our marriage is dead...her words and even if I try to parce that as meaning in a positive way, the old marriage...it still seems like my facade?

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She is determined and beyond the MLC... I want to tell her that I will be doing the MB call but know that is not enough if not too late! She took our son to tennis and asked if I was going to work?

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Fight, how do I respectfully walk away or get out of one when she hits on her pain?

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