Did you sign a document to 'solely release dower rights'? Did you see that verbiage anywhere? Did you request copies of everything you signed? Did the Notary Public ask you for photo ID?

Your attorney isn't interested in saving your marriage. It's nice that he appears to be looking out for you. Although I haven't seen anything in your posts that would convince me of that as of yet.

I don't see anything on dower rights, but verbage of "convey all right, title and interest...to the grantee as grantee's sole and separate property". I did request copies, and they did ask for photo ID.

I understand attorneys are there to make money, by interpreting and applying laws and regulations. It would be really nice to save my marriage, but I'm also trying to be smart about it and stay financially intelligent. Another mortgage doesn't appeal to me. Even if I didn't sign the deed documents, I believe the WW family would have bought the house and let her stay in it.

Have you read the exposure link?

You can not predict what WW's family would or would not do if they had the full facts of her affair. Right now, they are making decisions without the truth.

If I was in your shoes, I would get my ducks in a row. Hire a PI to follow WW. Get a VAR in her car.

And expose this A to the light of day to ALL of your friends, family, WW's colleagues, your kids. You already have evidence in the letters.

Once WW is advised of exposure, she WILL contact POSOM. Or go see him. VAR (and any other snooping tool you can think of) and PI should then get the evidence on him.

And then you can expose that POS and show him that you will fight for your marriage.

Here it is again.

Exposure 101

The bank could not have proceeded with the transaction if you hadn't signed. They want you to sign that dower release to confirm that you have no spousal interest in the house in case they ever need to foreclose on your wife. Any foreclosure action would be snagged if there's a spouse who has a dower interest in the house.

Did you sign a document called a Truth In Lending?

I'm trying to think of anything that might void the mortgage that you may not have signed, although it sounds like that may be unlikely

maritalbliss, I didn't sign any Truth in Lengin document.

At this point I realize that I have been doing Plan A for quite a few weeks now. I am ready for a Plan B and just want to stay away from my WW and not have any contact with her, unless of course it has to do with the kids. I have exposed her affair by showing a lot of her friends and both families the letters she wrote and received as well as numerous emails and texts. I was confused and must have been in denial about an affair until now. I'm not sure if it has gone physical but it's definitely emotional and I have no idea who the OM is. I am thinking of taking pictures of the letters and posting them on my Facebook page with a tag to my WW, good idea or no?

My WW says she wants legal separation, and at this point I am so hurt that I am fine with that. Don't get me wrong, I would love to keep my family and marriage together but I can't take getting run over any more.

Keep and hide the letters for evidence.

You need to spend your energy on finding out who OM is, so you can expose to his side.

Are you sure? This could void your WW's mortgage. If they ask you to sign it, don't do it! Let us know about this.

So my WW spilled the beans the other night. Said she has given her heart to somebody else. The OM is married and has at least one kid. She won't tell me who it is and that I don't need to know...I will find out and expose. My question is what do I do from here? She says she sent him an email saying she is going to work on her marriage and he should work on his. My WW says she is totally heartbroken by choosing to work on our marriage and that she has never seen the likes or had the feelings like she did for the OM. I replied that it is lust, infatuation, and a crush. Her response was to not discount what they had.

I see all the typical actions and feelings of a WS. I believe she is in withdrawl mode right now. I asked her to discontinue all communication with him and I need to have her write a letter, proofread by me, to send him. Where can I find some examples?

I am extreely hurt and not real sure if, in a divorce, I would be missing the person or the position/partership of wife??? I will try to work this out but I'm not sure I can take any more heartbreak.

Did you tell your wife that she was in an 'adulterous affair' with a man who has a wife and children, and not let her get away with this 'I have given my heart to somebody else' crap?

She is still wayward and foggy. She is not committed to recovery if she will not even tell you who the OM is. She is choosing him over you and protecting him at your expense. Finding out who he is and exposing the affair to everyone involved in your life and his should be top priority.

Telling a BS that they 'don't need to know' the identity of the OM that is attempting to destroy their marriage and family is about as disrespectful as it comes.

"She says..." needs to not be part of your vocabulary right now. It is the equivalent of saying "waa waa waa waa waa" and is just as meaningless as a string of random words. Trust nothing that she says, until she is out of her fog and in full recovery her words are meaningless.

"I asked her to discontinue all communication..." Do not 'ask' your wife to stop talking to a guy she is having an affair with. DEMAND this. If she is to remain married to YOU, then she will NOT talk to this POSOM. This is not the time to be wishy washy. She will write a no contact letter and YOU will read it and YOU will send it. Vets will be along shortly to give you the link to this.

Have her give you the OM name. Tell her to forward the email she sent him.

Read this and it has the No Contact template in here. Exposure 101

Also when you expose to OM's BW she will be able to put pressure on OM to stay NC with your WW.

My WW says the OM's BW already knows about the affair and knows who my WW is and is trying to save her marriage. I think if I can find out who BW is, we can work to save both of our marriages from two different angles. Expose to everybody!

Waywards will tell you that the BS already knows. A tactic that they try to gaslight and throw you off.

Yes expose to everyone and YOU talk to OM's BW and tell her. Tell her about MB so she can get help.

sp4mk. Did you read this?


Waywards LIE. Trust only what you can personally verify.

Your WW is still protecting the OM by not even revealing his name. The affair is still going strong and she is gaslighting you.

Find out who he is.

Also please read this Never Take the Word of a Wayward

Welcome sp4mk and I am very sorry you have to join us. My WW said the exact same thing...the OM wife knows; guess what she didn't until I exposed it to her two months later. My WW is finally coming out of the fog but major damage is done. My advice is to follow the vets on here, as I wish I would have 1)found this site sooner and 2)done things more proactively. I thought some of the advice was nuts when I first heard it; instead I did a few things and waited for it to die a natural death, which caused more damage and pain for me.

I OBSESSED over when it would end and how could she leave me with kids for a married man with kids. It will end, trust me on that - you need to take care of yourself in the process and do what you can to end it, which it sounds like you are on the right track.

I also ignored her unless it was about the kids. She said me moving on and reality setting in was taking its toll, and the main reason she ended it.

Oh man, how could I have not seen through all of the lies and bullcrap?! I will sit her down today and have her come clean with everything and have her write a no cotact letter. I will demand to see her emails and even get her phone and email passwords.

At this point, if she doesn't want to do that, I'm good with her leaving to be with the OM. She needs to start doing some work to save this marriage. I know and admit my faults and am ready to work on them.

Just be prepared for her to lie, deny, and blame you. I also tried to force her on many occasions to no avail. I wrote her letters, told her about change, etc. and nothing worked. It took her 5 months to get out of the fog, and me pressuring and pushing her did nothing.

I also moved on and didn't care about OM any longer, but now that "she's back" a whole new set of emotions are coming along so be prepared. Sorry bro, it sucks.

Be prepared for her to gaslight you and to tell you she is done with the affair just to take it deeper.

If she will not give you passwords and emails, she's still involved with OM.