Thank you so much everybody for the thoughts, prayers and support. Thank you.

Will post tomorrow.

hang in there ai. right now, just getting through the day is an achievement.

thinking of you here at the bottom of the world,
letty

Truth is for the brave, sweetie.

Real bravery means doing what has to be done, even while your hands shake and your stomach is in knots.

That's you!

AI, really, 60+ 'emotional or inappropriate' affairs and 2 (!... really, only 2...!) admitted physical affairs.

I'm sorry, I know this is really a horrific situation for you, especially as a stay at home mother with 3 young children, but with him having been caught in lies as little as a few days ago and 60 (!!!!!!) EA's, you are really knee-deep in the "when to call it quits" territory. To stay in this marriage is masochism.

BTW if anyone reads TRT's thread, notice how he is completely ignoring many posters who are calling him out and only addressing those who offer back pats in addition to calling him out.

Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you. Only you know in your heart what to do and whether you should consider allowing him to stay.

We are all here for you, sweetie.

AlmostInvictus,

I just wanted to mention that one common thing we see is that a wayward "fesses up" in hopes that the betrayed spouse will call off a polygraph. Then the betrayed spouse thinks they got the whole truth but did not, and the full extent of the wayward's activities goes undetected. For now. And remains as a bomb for later.

Since it sounds like TRT is funding the polygraph himself, it doesn't sound like he's planning to back out, but I would be very, VERY wary of any suggestion from him that a polygraph is no longer necessary. Don't offer any such comment like that to him, and ignore any such comment if he makes it. Push forward for this relentlessly.

Your husband just posted that he was reformatting a hard drive.

I would go ask for that hard drive right now. Tell him you want to keep it, and it doesn't go with the laptop.

I find this suspicious.

So 43 pages made me feel like I was being chopped into a thousand pieces. I really appreciate all the kind words of support last night and this morning.

He really didn't tell me very much that I didn't already know, aside from all the gory details, and the full scope of how completely inappropriate he behaves with anybody of the opposite sex. He didn't have 60+ emotional affairs. He remembered around that many people he flirted with aggressively and spoke inappropriately with. This didn't surprise me. He has always been openly flirtatious and inappropriate, and emotionally abusive enough to make me feel stupid and crazy and make me back down when I pointed out that it was wrong.

His actual emotional affairs, mostly online and long-distance, I already knew about.

The major punch in the face was the revelation of just how deep and serious his recent PA was. That is what he was hiding and protecting the most. The full scope of how deeply he betrayed me with her, and what he was willing to do to me for her sake.

Thank you Markos. The poly goes ahead above all else.

He's reformatting it because I don't want it sold with any of our information on it. I know there could be thing hiding on there, but at this point I really don't care.
The polygraph will tell me if he's lied or held back.

Thanks alis. I know...I know I am neck-deep in the shark-infested waters of when to call it quits. I know he could still be lying. And 7 weeks of trickle truth and manipulation have me so twisted up and emotionally battered that it's even occurred to me that he could be putting me through this - the confession, the poly, the show of effort - with the intent to fail, because he knows I will call it quits, and he doesn't want to be the bad guy for walking away after all he did.

It's appalling to me that we've reached a point where I can't say he wouldn't do that.

But I don't feel like I can make a decision until I find out. Until we know if the lies are over. Until I see if he can make a sustained effort. If I don't wait it out and see, what did I go through all this for?

I also see all the mistakes and missteps I have made this seven weeks. I see how I let this happen to me. How I allowed him to do it to me.

I have to think clearly.

Your having this thought/suspicion does not make you twisted. I have been wondering the same exact thing since he posted he'd written 43 PAGES of confession and asked if he should post all 43 PAGES on MB. That way, he could rest assured that at least a few more emotionally volatile MBers would tell you to divorce him.

Well, its happened. The good guy act walking away from the marriage thing saying 'I tried' is very common.

We've also seen waywards who believed they could fool the poly, then they start in on the BS when they fail miserably saying 'they tried' and 'nothing was good enough'

I'm not saying that is what is happening. Just that it happens.

And its not 'appalling' that you can't rule it out - its common sense.

You have seen proof that he lies for personal gain.

There is hope. There is hope for him if he chooses it.

But there is hope for you regardless. You are strong and you will survive this. You will be better than ever no matter what happens.

Line up your Plan B in case you need it.

Hey Al,

I would just like to clarify one comment you made just so I can make sure I got this right.

So your WH has written an epic 43 pages worth of confessions to things you pretty much were already aware of??

This is concerning because as far as I'm concerned this is exactly what gaslighting looks like, a WS slightly elaborates on information he has already given you in order to hide other more serious offences.

I am worried for you and I am worried regarding the poly, I really hope I'm wrong but I just have a feeling this isn't going to go well.

Have you considered what your plan is should the worse happen and he fails the poly?

Also can I clarify with fellow MBers that a PA does not necessarily only apply where full sex occurred, incidents where kissing or intimate touching took place are also classified as PA's.

If I'm correct about this

How many PA's has TRT had that did not include full sex?

Today, I am not sure I'm going to make it off this rollercoaster intact.

Everything is confusing and everything hurts.

You will make it off this rollercoaster as a stronger, smarter woman AI. That's what I think. Regardless of the outcome.

Apparently none. The two PAs he confessed were both fully sexual. Nothing else physical happened with anybody else. So says the paper.

Where he was lying his [censored] off about PAs was when he said the recent one only happened twice. It was a hell of a lot more than that, and he was also lying like crazy about how emotionally involved they were.

Thank you.

I hope so.

The hits keep coming. Up to 3 PAs now.

Go amnesty period, go!

Please pray I finally get the whole truth and come out of this intact.