My WW is gaslighting me alright. I got on her phone yesterday while she was in a different room, and before the lock on her phone kicked in. I found out who the OM is and saw a lot of the raunchy conversations they had. I replied on her phone to his text saying it was me and that he needs to leave my wife alone, that I was fithing for my marriage. WW said she sent him a no contact email the other day...I found through texts that they are still communicating. I asked her to write another no contact letter with me and she won't. She just ran away during the confrontation.

She says she needs time for her, I said fine but you can't do that with somebody waiting in the wings. I am thinking she will move out, and right now I don't really care. I am pissed and hurt. I don't even want to talk to her today.

She says she has nothing left to give to me and that we should just be done. I told her I have everything to give and am willing to get help to rebuild our marriage. She said I know nothing about her and her childhood and asked me to list some things...I did but she still wasn't happy. She is saying our entire 10 years together has been miserable. I know it hasn't, she is trying to rewrite history.

I'm thinking I'm going to talk to Human Resources at work, since my WW, myself, and the OM all work at the same place. I think HR needs to know what these two have been up to.

Yes you need to let HR now. You need to expose this to everyone.

Did you make copies of those texts?

Also call OM's BW now.

sp4mk. Read this about exposure. It needs to be done all at once. Trickle exposure is not effective. It gives your WW forewarning and gives her time to start spinning her own story and undermine your credibility.

Expose all at once to everyone. It is important how you word the exposure to not appear vindictive...you are asking for support to save your marriage.

READ THE LINK

exposure 101

You need to decide if you want to save your M or not. If you don't, that is completely understandable given the circumstances. But if you do, there is a small window of opportunity here presenting itself to you. NOTE: If you choose to do whatever it takes to save your M, you can change your mind at ANY TIME. So what have you got to lose taking that approach right?

Whatever happened with the closing of her house? You said you read her phone while she was in another room, does that mean she is back home?

She did come back home, but also closed on her house. She said it was a good business decision and that "We" would rent it out. I think that went down the crapper now though, or maybe was just her blowing smoke the whole time. I didn't copy any texts because of too short of time but saw where she has already told her family about the OM. Her family is so broken that they just want her to be happy at any expense. My WW's mother goes through men as well.

I just found a newspaper article where the OM and his BW just had a baby last month. Sounds like my WW and the OM were having their affair most of the time the BW was pregnant. Absolutely disgusting! I am pretty mad and hurt right now, I am going to get away for the weekend so I can calm down. I have already exposed this to people at church, and to all of my wife's friends in town, just need to figure out how to do it on Facebook now.

You need to expose all at once.

First step call OM's BW
Second send out facebook messages
Third expose at work

You read the exposure thread I posted, correct?

Yes, BrainHurts, I read it. I sent out an email to the BW and am now getting set up to message all of my WW's Facebook friends. Thanks everyone for the help, so far.

Did she respond? Can you call her?

We've had WS intercept messages that were meant for the BS.

No response from the BW yet, I will try to find a phone number and call her. Another question, how to I send private messages in Facebook? My wife has over 200 friends and I don't know where to start.

Did you see this from the exposure thread?

Yes, I saw that, but I have never sent a Private Message before and I'm not sure how to do it to other people's friends??? I don't spend much time on Facebook so I don't really know how to use it.

go to these people's pages from your account and view their profile. There will be an option to send them a message from their main profile page (toward the top right I think)

Thanks high_road, I will do that.

Feeling a slight victory! The BW just called and said she got my email and is ready to work together to save our respective marriages. The OM told the BW that there has been no contact for 6 weeks, that's busted! I plan on exposing on Facebook soon.

So after doing some research, I found out that the OM and the BW had a baby a month and a half ago! How sick is that, that my WW and the OM would have an affair most of the time the BW was pregnant. That is so disturbing to me, I can't even be around my WW right now. She is saying our marriage is done and I think I agree. I don't think I could ever trust her again even if she totally changed.

This is why you need to get OMBW on the phone and tell her.

Do not believe your WW that OM'S BW knows.

sp, if I were you I would give OM's BW your wife's cell phone number and let her give her the full skinny of her pregnancy or whatever. Maternal instincts are extremely powerful and just might shake your WW a bit. I would be willing to bet cold hard cash that your wife has NO idea about any of this.

This gave me the impression that BW already has your number and that you have already spoken to her.

It seems odd that BW did not mention that she just had a baby.

Are you sure that it was her? What were your next steps on working together to save your marriages?

I have spoken with the BW. And I gave her my WW's phone number and the evidence that I found, except for the text messages which I counldn't forward to my phone in time. One text message between my WW and the OM said something about showing a picture of him and his new baby to my WW's sister in law! My inlaws are just as messed up as my WW! They seem to condone her behavior.