Yep, everything else was blah, blah, blah, not me, blah, blah, blah!

I'll definitely let her know not to worry. She is a wonderful friend! It's a shame she had to experience the behavior of a wayward. This was just a grain of salt compared to all the crap I've heard and read from him in the past.

Ok, heading to bed now... It's late.
Good night and thank you for your response.

Get some sleep.

Star you are lucky to have such a good friend who was willing to stand against A and wayward behaviour. I read another thread where someone stated how dispicable (sp? I'm tired) does the behaviour need to become before someone says no I am not supporting this... they unfortuately did not have your support.

I agree with BH, WH reacted to the first line, couldn't see beyond this.

You have a great friend who has your back.

Are you working on getting into Plan B?

I am in Plan B & Plan D. WH now has a key to the house. I had to give it to him earlier this week per my attorney. He is supposed to give a 12-24 notice before coming over so I can leave. I don't see why he would need to come over though. I'm sure it's just a control thing on his part.

Lots of rain here today from Tropical Storm/Hurricane Debby. Laundry, movies and D paperwork. Gloomy day, but making the most of it!

I would change the locks again Star.

If he was to come over unannounced he couldn't complain about the locks - as he hadn't given notice.

But if he comes over and clears the place out (its happened) there's nothing you could do.

What if he were to refuse to leave? Change the locks on you?

Why does he need a key if he has to give notice! That's absurd.

I agree, but my attorney told me to do so. I have videos, pictures and a list of all of our assets. He cannot remove or change anything in the house (neither can I). It's just a control thing. I don't like it, but without a decision from the judge, I have no choice and he can change the locks on me too. It shows be as being compliant.

There are Kwikset locks which are called Smart Key locks.
They are made so that you can, within moments, reset the lock to a certain key.

If your lock is, by chance, a Kwikset.......maybe get a new Smart Key knob. That way.....you can have it set for a key WH does not have but if he ever requests to enter with a notice.....set it to the key he does have for that time frame and then set it back after he has entered to do whatever.

Also, never leave your important papers where he can access them.

Ideally, even if he enters, someone besides you will be there to keep an eye of him so he isn't grabbing things to take with him.

I am not changing the locks again as it was very expensive. I did buy the Kwikset one that you are talking about for the front door, but I also have 3 other doors that had to be changed. I have to follow the advice of my attorney now, because I don't want any problems until a judgement has been made. I do not wish to be around him, but I'll definitely contact my neighbor or someone to come over to watch him to make sure that he doesn't take anything. I just hope that he gives a notice as he agreed. It really sucks that I feel like I have privacy only to a certain extent. Once again, the wayward has control (with a key). I just want this to be over with soon!

I took all of my papers and laptop out of the house and only bring them back when I'm working on them and then out of the house they go again. I'm not taking any chances! Can't trust a wayward!


Tropical Storm/Hurrican Debby came through yesterday. Had some flooding and the carpet in the corner of the bedroom is soaked, so I'll have to take care of that after work and limbs to pick up, etc. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but the wind and rain were crazy all day/night! More rain coming the next couple of days.

Sorry to hear aobut your flooding! Laast thing you need...



How about deadbolts on the other three doors, and just set the Kwikset to another key when he does not give notice, but set it to his key, when he does. That should give you peace of mind without much expense.

Like the idea about the neighbour and protecting your paperwork. I'd hide any laptops too.

Every door in the house has a deadbolt, which I already changed right before I gave him the Plan B letter. I was advised to give him a key by both attorneys (his and mine). I'm not going against what they are saying right now, as we are in divorce proceedings and I'm not going to be the one that has anything on me. I am going to be able to walk away knowing that I did everything right and I'm going to take the high road. If he threatens, harrasses me or comes unannounced, etc., then I will notify my attorney. I have to do what my attorney says right now and he has agreed to 12-24 hrs. notice.
He was given a key last week, but hasn't come over yet (to my knowledge).

If you have deadbolts and a kwikkey, you sound pretty secure and that he couldn't have come over without your knowledge.

That sounds like a great plan, if it gives you an edge in proceedings too by giving him access under notice.

It just sounded like your lawyer had told you to leave the house completely open to him, and I didn't think that sounded right!

Star, you AREN'T in plan B at all. You still work with your WH. I agree that you are in Plan D.

I've been in every single plan there is...

Yes, maybe for the job aspect, I'm not in a completely dark Plan B. I'm unable to switch jobs right now. I do not have contact with him at work and have only passed by him once and never looked his way or said one word. He now has a key to my house, which he hasn't used. So, if you want to say because of my job, that I'm not in Plan B, then I'm ok with that. I'm doing the best I can to work two plans at the same time. It's definitely not easy. Advice differs from my attorney on certain aspects, so I've had to make adjustments to obey the laws until a judgement has been made. I'm playing catch-up right now after being out of work for two months on STD. I need a steady income right now for many reasons and my attorney is not cheap. He has already taken too much from me and I'm doing my best, made necessary precautions that he doesn't force me to leave my job too. I have so much support at my job... he's not going to mess with me there.

Also have an alarm system, dogs and watching neighbors!
I'm very lucky to have all of the extra security!

This Tropical Storm is crazy! Cannot believe all the wind and rain! So tired this morning... wishing I could curl up and go back to sleep for a few hours...

Lots of dreams last night about WH. Mostly happy, intimate times together. Grieving sucks... too many memories!

Working on more of my d paperwork! This just sucks having all of your assets down on paper in front of you. It makes everything real and it just sucks! Having a rough night tonight! This paperwork is ridiculous! Purchase price, % and type of interest, date purchased, value day of separation/filing for d and fair market value today. That is just for the tangible assets!!! Ugh!

Why oh why..... Having a rough night!

When's your next plan B treat scheduled? What do you have planned?

Any good ideas?