Tell us more about her previous marriage. It is relevant to your situation. Why did the marriage end? What was her husband like?

Also, have you ever been married? If so, please tell us how that marriage ended, because again, there is information there that is relevant to your situation.

Some of the people posting to you are recovering alcoholics who have lived sober for decades now. Some are married to recovering alcoholics who have lived sober for decades now.

One thing I've heard from some of these folks is that at AA there is a saying "Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth."

You are not in a listening mode; you are in a straighten everyone else up mode. You can switch modes, though, and get some great help.

(I know; I've done it.)

The primary advice, my young friend (20? 22?) is to bail and run. If you choose not to do that, you are setting yourself up for a looooong struggle that you're highly likely (80%) to lose.

my girlfriend cheated on me with 4 other guys... any man she has been with since, that deserved her loyalty she cheated on. Myself included. She adamantly believed you do not sleep with a married man either and she did just that with one of these men.... She has expressed to me that she feels emotionally detached from me.

Given that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, unless modified by some paradigm shift, how do you see the rest of your life unfolding with this lady? No, don't answer that; it's too depressing a scenario.

Now the point I think, of your notes here, is the following:

I don't know how to help her. both of us have brainstormed on it for hours on how to fix our sexual relationship and came up with almost nothing

BOTH of you cannot fix what is most egregiously broken within her. YOU cannot help her, directly. Only one person can transform her from an easy piece to a woman of some virtue and respectability, and that is HER. The only way for you to help her, which you apparently want to do, is direct her here.

Whatever excuse, alibi, reason, or rationale she gives you for NOT coming here, would be merely a surrogate for her real motivation:

I LIKE having Aaron at home providing me with certain emotional needs, and having (at least the possibility of) men on the side for the excitement of been pursued, wooed, and desired.

Now tactically, you have a major flaw in your ordnance for this fight:

I love the woman and I cannot bring myself to leave her.

The more certainly she know this, the LESS likely is your recovery.

RUN!

I don't think he liked what he heard. Note to MB posters: look for this poster in a few years, accompanied by post-nuptials and children. Sigh.

Oooh Oooh Oooh! Pick me, Pick me, pick me! I know the answer!!

He was abusive, drank like a fish, cheated on her, treated her like a maid and then ran over her dog and called her a poop head.

If this poor guy actually met the ex, he'd probably find reality to be quite different and the dog still very much alive.

What waywards lie?

Great, do you know the answer to this one:


I have a guess.

Ummmmmmmm

Does it start with AJ ?

You're still sharp as a tack; the meds must be clearing your system.